I (heart) GUT

When I got jumped into the GUT collective I really had no idea what was in store for me.

First off, it made me feel real cool. After running the Homeskillet for a few years and doing it slightly under the radar and for my own good benefit, it was fun to get some love and recognition once I started contributing to the Weekly as their food writer.

And it's fun to feel cool.

Second I just thought it'd introduce me to some new and interesting people, which it has, or get me on a list for a food event here and there, which it also has, but rubbing elbows with southern Arizona's culinary elite and getting invites for near impossible to get into pop-ups has been quite the shake up with my middle aged, geeky ego. It is both humbling and really awesome.

Being part of GUT has definitely made me feel cool.

One of the best things that GUT (Gastronomic Union of Tucson) does is put on a multi coursed dinner that is created and supervised by what some have called the 'Justice League of Tucson chefs'. This is open to the public, that is if they want to shell out a good $80 to be a part of the culinary experience. Which they totally should.

It all takes place at the Carriage House downtown and the first one was held on Sunday June 25th. I can't tell you how excited I was when I got my invite.

And I can't tell you how bummed I was when I had to back out.

The mid-summer stomach bug caught up with me and I kept having to text Carriage House executive chef and GUT dinner organizer Devon Sanner with the bad news. He, along with a few other chefs that were involved that night, kept asking me to "fight it", "pull through" and "just get over it already"...but the struggle was too real and I stayed home going back and forth from the couch to the toilet.

The next one was on Sunday July 30th and this one I definitely attended. I told Devon and various others that I would be there "even if things were coming out both ends". Luckily for me I was fine and dandy and was stoked to be fed by such amazing talent as CJ Hamm of Saguaro Corners, Janet Jones on loan from Hacienda del Lago, Jason, Buddy and Matt from Ermanos and, of course, Ben Forbes, Tucson's premiere butcher and owner of Forbes Meat Company.

The food was on point and inventive, taking us all on a tour through Japan, India, China and, yes, Tucson. I had such a blast and it made me look forward to the next and last GUT dinner that was to take place Sunday August 27th.

Luckily this time I took a bunch of photos for the "GUT #3: El Tour de Tastebuds", a rollicking journey through the many levels that our tongue and senses can handle on just one plate.

Here is what went down:

Like eating and drinking electric pop rocks

The Carriage House is located in a sort of alleyway, S. Arizona Ave, between Broadway and E. 12th. It started as the brainchild of both Devon Sanner and James beard award winning chef Janos Wilder as a place to hold demonstrations, cooking classes, weddings and events, such as the GUT dinners. It's a really cool space, wide open with a pass kitchen, theater lights and a sound system. I heard they do dim sum there on occasion. Haven't been invited to that yet. Guess that's a next level GUT entry...

Since this was the last GUT dinner of 2017 the place was packed. My wife and I were given a seating assignment then handed a cocktail. It was a bright yellow lemongrass citrus mezcal creation and they paired it with some kind of puffy stem flower called a 'buzz button'. The fuzzy bud created a numbing and tingling sensation, which was quite the surprise. Paired with the boozy drink, the overall experience was both alluring and almost off putting...but in a fun way.

As we chatted with folk, servers brought around a selection of hors d' oeuvres which included a pork crepinette (which basically means it was flattened), finished with a Szechuan spicy pickled peanut sauce. My favorite was the dry rubbed, pecan smoked ribs with micro greens. This was really good on so many levels. My wife loved the crostini with a pork offal schmear, black garlic oil and crispy kale. I liked that one too. I just preferred the ribs.

But that's just me.

Before long everyone began taking their seats because the dinner was about to start.

Course 1: Bitter

Devon Sanner took center stage, thanked everybody for coming and introduced us to the chefs that created each dish. Tonight they would include Izaak Morhaim of Jackson Bar + Eatery, David Solorzano of Cielos at Lodge on the Desert, Sam Krajnak from Pasco, Mat Cable of Fresco Pizza, Nohemi Montoya from Lowes Ventana Resort and Travis Peters (who recently took the title of Tucson Iron Chef) of The Parish among a slew of other very talented chefs. Like I said, the Justice League of Tucson culinary heavy hitters.

First up was the "Bitter" course which boasted a petite pork osso bucco, charred dandelion greens, a pomegranate gastrique (a sweet and sour sauce deglazed in vinegar), grapefruit espuma (foam) and tripas (tripe) cracklings.

This was interesting. Bitter came in many formats here; the dandelion greens, the grapefruit foam and the pomegranate gastrique.  The pork osso bucco was tender and a lot of fun to eat. It was small, just a bite or two and if this was a proper "meal" sized dish it would kill in any restaurant as a main dish.

We were off and running, taste buds glowing from bits of pungent buds, strong drink, pork nasty bits and tart crispiness.

This is going to be fun.

Course 2: Sour

Course #2 would be the "Sour" element.

Here we were treated to a sous-vide of pork neck (which apparently does not exist but butcher Ben Forbes said he had to push meat up from the shoulders to get a fatty effect on the neck), a tart apple demiglace (or 'half glaze', a sauce that is basically used for other sauces), sour grape and tomatillo escabeche (a Mediterranean dish, usually fish, that is cooked in an acidic mixture), mustard green chips, carrots, turnips and a blackberry croquant ('crisp').

This was the standout for me. All of it came together with each bite to create that perfect mouth feel and flavor and the "sour" invitation lived up to its name. It was playful, jovial and above all really yummy. Cheers to all that came together on this one.

Okay. Lets keep this hit machine on track.

Course 3: Umami

Umami is usually described as a category of flavor beyond the bitter, sweet, sour and salty that our taste buds can handle. Some say brothy or meaty. Quite the challenge for this course.

For this one, chefs offered up hog trotter and barbecue devilfish (usually a manta ray, here it was smoked octopus), chicken fried headcheese, mudbug (crawfish/crayfish depending on where you are from) dashi (Japanese cooking stock) grits, smoked roe, chicory, enoki (long thin white Asian mushroom) and some mayo.

Wow.

Complex only begins to describe what was happening here. The devilfish was rousing as I was not really used to that kind of texture or flavor, one that reminded me of a loose pate of sorts brimming with porky elements and a distinct barbecue finish. The chicken fried headcheese just made me smile as I know that was the product of chef Travis from The Parish who is no stranger to twisting traditional southern flavors and making them his subservient. The presentation reminded me of some Medieval map in which after crossing the dark sea of the devilfish you must solve the puzzle of the mysterious enoki before conquering the tower of chicken fried headcheese topped with smoked roe.

Probably because at this point the food high was beginning to seriously rear its delicious head.

Just one more course to contend with.

Dessert Course: Sweet (duh)

Sweet relief came in the form of a triage of dessert:

1) A chocolate ganache (a glaze or filling made from rich chocolate and cream) cake with cardamom cream
2) Prickly pear limoncello granita (basically an Italian icee)
3) Donut with pork floss cotton candy, bacon and ancho caramel

This was the perfect way to end an extraordinary meal.

The chocolate cake was really rich but not too sweet. If you are going to live in Tucson be prepared to love prickly pear...everything. That granita melted in your mouth and cooled the pork heavy supper down a notch. They explained why the pork floss was bright green but all I could hear was "Mmmm" echoing through my ears and brain. I'm sure there was a reason behind it.

To the chef that created it...get back to me. It looks like the mossy glen to which the headcheese tower casts shadows over, next to the perilous devilfish sea, a donut-y respite from solving the riddle of the enoki.

Is that what it is?

I hope so.

All the chefs making all the food

As we sipped on a really hearty yet subtly sweet port wine, Devon and the rest of the chefs thanked everybody involved and gave a big hand to us, the ones that attended and were privy to such an honor to be fed by the hands of Tucson's culinary Avengers.

We left, not only full, but a bit sad that this was the last in the first series of GUT dinners...at least for the summer. Since it was so busy with people, the two of us exited into the warm evening outside without saying personal 'thank yous' and 'goodbyes'.

So let this here blog post say it for me/us:

Thank you chefs for not only creating GUT but for cooking memorable meals and allowing a dork like me to be part of your fold.

All I can say about that is:

Cool!

Thank you GUT!

Camera, Typing & Eating
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Last Sunday in August, 2017

Metal Influence:

CARCASS

"Heartwork"

If This Place Was Just Called "Dave" It'd be Weird

First let me preface that all of the photos I took were done by my phone. Not even my new fancy phone, my old one that had a crack in the lens. In a place like Dave and Busters I really didn't feel safe bringing my camera camera so apologies for the slightly fuzzy and kinda crappy shots.

Plus lugging a high-end digital camera around while trying to balance a beer and steer on some Fast and Furious machine would totally suck. So there's that as well.

Anyway, Tucson finally got itself one of these mega-clusters of food, booze and games and its about time we say. Located in the Tucson Marketplace area just off of South Park Avenue and East Benson Highway, nestled between a movie theater and a god awful Asian buffet (that surprisingly serve decent quesadillas, go figure) Dave and Busters is the kind of family Petri dish of overly excited kids, bored teens, half drunk dads and cell-phone staring moms that you always dreamed about.

I think we've been to one, maybe, back in either California or Texas and, if blurry memory serves, it was kind of fun. So on a searingly hot day with convection oven winds, the Homeskillet crew rallied up and set out to eat, drink and get high score.

This is what went down.

Full on Vegas mode with this place

The way Dave and Busters works is this: If you wanna play games, which you totally do, you purchase a Power Card, which is a card that you 'power up' with cash and can 'recharge' once your credits get low. Like $30 gets you 200 credits, or something like that. Each game requires a certain amount of credits. For example, Skee-Ball is perhaps 2 credits but some surround sound IMAX 3-D type game will be, say, 12. You get the idea right? Most places like this have the exact same method to take your money. But...whatever.

We went on a Wednesday, which we highly recommend, because on Wednesdays all games are discounted. That 12 credit IMAX 3-D game is now 6 credits. Get it? Good. So we loaded up our Power Cards then went to the bar to get slightly loaded.

So sweet, so unnecessary 

Note to all readers: Avoid any and all glow in the dark / snocone / anything that has gummy worms hanging from them drinks. They are pricey, they suck and most of all they are sugary frosted glops with a hint of booze. Just stick to your usual cocktail or beer. Trust here. In fact, the pours we got from the young bartender were actually kind of impressive. So stick with what you know.

As we were sipping away, we couldn't help but notice that the whole stretch of the room, equipped with a restaurant, sports bar, separate eating area and huge game space, looked and sounded a lot like a Las Vegas casino. With the exception of cigarette smoke (you can't even vape in D&B's, thank jeebus) we could have been at some bar in the Venetian, except the one armed bandits were replaced with Big Buck Hunters and Pac Man games with screens 10 feet high.

While we were surveying our afternoon territory, we were beginning to get a bit grumbly in yon tummy so a glance at their menu was in order.

Um...okay!

The fare at Dave and Busters is kind of what you would expect. Pages of hot wings, "shareable" appetizers loaded with sliders and cheesy bacon covered fries, nachos, burgers, meat stuffed sandwiches and deep fried cheese.

Eh.

What was kind of surprising was their selection of salads such as an apple pecan option, a baby kale Caesar and Thai chicken chopped. These actually didn't sound too horrible.

There's also a wide selection of pasta dishes, steaks, ribs, seafood and even a tomato feta soup. Not bad D&B, not bad.

Here's the thing: They put calorie counts on each dish so you know what you are getting into before ordering. No sodium count because if they did, no one would order any of this stuff. Or carbs, Or sugar or saturated fat. I'm thinking the food at D&B is loaded with unnecessary amounts of salt and sugar, enough to put any diet right into the dustbin.

It is absolutely rare here to find a dish under 1000 calories. There's a grilled salmon for about 800, most side salads and soups hover around 200...and that's about it. I mean, you're not coming to Dave and Busters for its farm-to-fork chef driven dishes, you're here to grub on some sloppy and slightly not bad food and play arcade games till your eyes bleed and your thumbs go numb. Right?

Taking a walk around the dining area, the food actually didn't look all that bad either. But between the 5 of us we opted to go for something called, yep, Fives All Around. This long plate came loaded with 5 pieces of chicken quesadilla, 5 pretzel dogs, 5 crispy shrimps, a bunch of dipping sauces and house cut crinkle chips. This monster app was over 3000 calories but, hey, between the 5 of us, for each, that's like, uh...let's see. Carry the 3 into...umm...

Oh forget it.

Anyway, the food wasn't horrible. So...there's that.

Wait, did you wash that cube before...oh nevermind

Then it was time to get down and play some games. This is what Dave and Busters is all about anyway.

We wont get into too much about this because, you know, this is a food blog, but we will say the games were new, clean, loud and fun. Most of the racing games came equipped with wind machines to give you that extra feeling of speed and vigorously shook as well. I spent a lot of time playing the Star Wars Battle Pod. Literally you are in an enclosed game egg and you get to fly X-Wings, Snow Speeders and Speeder Bikes. So many credits went bye-bye with this game. A must do for serious Star Wars nerds.

That and Mario Kart in which you can compete with three of your friends. A good hour was spent doing this one. So freakin' fun.

Not even between the 5 of us, nope

So there you have it: The Tucson Homeskillet does Dave and Busters. We had a great time, it was really hot out so we stayed cool and we were kind of impressed with the bar style family fare they served. I mean, we really didn't eat any because, well...why would you? I mean, the food here has to be better than the neighboring buffet (will not give its name but....you'll see when you get here, just don't...) but when we come back, which we so will because we still have a bunch of credits on our Power Cards, we might go nibble a bit here and there.

But we are going to share! Just don't trust the nutritional scree of caloric blood pressure infusers they serve up.

But they do have tot-chos. And if you know us, we love us some tot-chos.

Next time Dave and Busters.

Next time...

And you know what...it wasn't horrible

Camera, Typing, Eating and Drinking
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
It's Too Hot Out, 2017

Metal Influence:

THE SWORD

"Warp Riders"

When Marcus And Anthony Came To Dinner

How can you not love Thanksgiving?

Its the one true day a year that you can get away with eating almost anything, all day long, and the best part is you have leftovers for like a month. Do you get sick of eating turkey after a week? Yeah, us either. That stuff goes with almost anything. Its a great lean protein that can be utilized in soups, stocks, casseroles, sandwiches and a ton of other options. You can use the stuffing/dressing a million different ways too. And green beans. And cranberry sauce. And...

You know what, we're just going to stop here because two new cookbooks have arrived just in time for the big day of feasting and giving thanks for doing so. We here at the Homeskillet are big fans of both cookbooks along with the chefs/authors as well.

The always engaging Marcus Samuelsson has finally given us a full rendition of what goes on in his Harlem restaurant Red Rooster and Anthony Bourdain breaks down his favorite recipes from all of his travels and time honored traditions in his first actual cookbook.

Plus Xmas is arriving quicker than you think so both of these food tomes would make an awesome gift for that fussy "foodie" home cook buddy of yours. Both of these books are unpretentious, a bit artsy but most importantly jammed with all sorts of fun ideas and innovative recipes.

Let's get started shall we?

"Red Rooster : The Cookbook"

By Marcus Samuelsson

We have been a huge fan of Marcus' for a long time now. It wasn't only his incredible rise to culinary power, but after reading his memoir, Yes, Chef, we kind of fell in love with him.

Lots of longtime Harlem residents have both praised and chastised Samuelsson for bringing his concept to a neighborhood that, at one time, was thought to be quite, um..."dubious". Now it seems because of Red Rooster and its upscale jazzy approach to soul food, it and he have invited other like minded chefs and business owners to join them. Some residents love that their neighborhood has gotten a well deserved face lift while others find it has become gentrified and with the new digs a new rent hike has come into place.

Whatever the case may be, Marcus Samuelsson can cook and by the character of his other works, the man can really write too.

Red Rooster is a departure from his other cookbooks, Marcus Off Duty or The Soul of a New Cuisine, which are more straight ahead cookbooks, where Red Rooster features more of the community that help build, inspire and support his iconic restaurant. The pictures are stunning, creating an air of musicality and swingtime style which go great along with the eclectic and savory recipes.

The book goes from some suggestions of the ingredients you will need to make a successful dish, advice on how to stock your pantry, tools you will want in the kitchen and a whole laundry list of tips, techniques and even music playlists to get you moving and cooking.

Red Rooster is very new Harlem and very Samuelsson which makes this one of our new favorite cookbooks of 2016.

As far as Thanksgiving is concerned you can find a slew, a slew!, of inspiration to make a memorable meal this year. And next year too if you like. Whatever man. It's your cookbook...do with it what you will.

We really like his "Bird Broth" recipe that infused white miso and jalapeno on a down home take on traditional ramen. There are also a ton of chicken recipes, such as hot wings and chicken and waffles, along with lamb and all sorts of fun ideas for a delicious yet uncommon family dinner.

His herb roasted turkey with cranberry gravy is delectable and smart. Using parts garam masala, lavender, ruby port and even prune juice, this one will surely turn heads as grandma pipes up "But this isn't the turkey I used to make!" followed by everyone rolling their eyes and sighing in relief.

And after the holiday has come to pass and you still have half a bird leftover, his recipe for a Thanksgiving banh mi is really fun. This time we use the livers and he walks you through a simple process of dusting the offal, deglazing your skillet and assembling the sandwich. It's pretty simple and a great way to use some parts you normally might throw away. Now we are not a huge fan of livers but this take changed our minds.

Or if you wanna cook short ribs for Thanksgiving he provides the recipe for the ones he made for the Obamas for their first inauguration. Using plum sauce, some horseradish and a few herbs, this one just feels, and tastes, like eight years of awesome. We plan on making these when whats his name takes office in January. We plan on fighting the power with the strength of good food.

At least they can't take that away from us.

Included in Red Rooster are playful cocktail recipes, delicious side dish options, appetizers and desserts. Sure, you'd expect all that from a normal cookbook, but what makes this one so special is the man behind your mouth watering.

Marcus Samuelsson was born in Africa, raised in Sweden, trained abroad and now calls New York his home. The influences from his life come alive on these pages and it makes you want to don a sharp suit, pick up a saxophone and blow soulfully into the night knowing that at the end of the jam session some blackened catfish, peanut bacon pork chops, curried goat stew and a strong house cocktail made with homemade ginger beer and black rum waits for you.

This book is vibrant, it is essential and best of all it has stories to tell.

You have to think; Marcus is a writer at heart. His memoir was so well done that it took our basic fandom to a new level of respect after reading it. Heartbreaking and captivating, Yes, Chef should be in the library of any food fan or cook.

There are so many narratives in Red Rooster that you almost feel as if you own a novel with a bunch of pictures in it rather than an elegant street smart book filled with innovative, sumptuous while at the same time hands on recipes to bring your family, and community, together.

This Thanksgiving do everyone you are cooking for a favor by picking up a copy of Red Rooster and see how many smiles you can muster up by giving them something new to both eat and think about.

Or give it as a Xmas gift. Either way.

Red Rooster rules.

"Appetites : A Cookbook"

By Anthony Bourdain

Now you all know Anthony Bourdain right? Yeah, of course you do. He's like super famous now. You've seen him on the TV on such shows as No Reservations, The Layover, Parts Unknown and various appearances on chef competitions and the like. He has traveled all over the world, probably several times over by now, and has a taste for real and sometimes debatable street food.

He likes to drink, he swears, he was a heroin addict, he's brash, he's funny and best of all the man can really frikkin' write. In some cases, and even according to him, Anthony Bourdain is a better writer than he was a chef and Bourdain was quite an accomplished chef so that's saying a lot.

So it's really cool that he actually wrote a cookbook and, yes, just like the guy that wrote it, it is intriguing, amusing, sometimes scary but best of all totally entertaining.

Basically if Anthony Bourdain is going to compose a cookbook, you know you can trust it.

This is a man that puts up with very little bullpucky and it comes across on his shows, in his writing and most importantly his food. Appetites is just another reflection of what he has bestowed upon the globe as far as his take on food and eating is concerned. Its full of candid, slightly insolent photographs, some teetering on the grim and near pornographic. The colors are as raw as the subject matters; chicken pieces, whole boars heads, steamy piles of red noodles served in helmets, bloody jujitsu gear, stuff like that.

Composed alongside these shots are recipes both fairly commonplace and extrinsic. You have wedge salads, Caesar salads even, deviled eggs, lasagne, sandwiches and so forth. But these are dishes that Bourdain deems worthy of writing about and putting his name on so you know the techniques and ingredients are not going to disappoint.

And they dont.

Of course, just like Marcus Samuelsson, Appetites is filled with all kinds of well crafted stories and anecdotes, most filled with profanity and blunt observations. But you expect this from the man. This is why we love him.

But we are not here just to blow smoke up Bourdain's bum, we want to talk turkey here. Thanksgiving turkey most importantly.

This is why Appetites works on so many levels and can be added to this here blog post.

Bourdain has a whole section in his book totally dedicated to doing a Thanksgiving that will be not only tasty but relatively stress free.

Here's how he does it:

Bourdain breaks down what you need to do for a successful Thanksgiving in three days, all of which should start about a week before the actual event.

Day 1 is buying all of the stuff you will need: vegetables, herbs, butter, oil, bread, seasonings, etc etc. And this is where things get awesome: He suggests buying two birds instead of just the one. Yes. He has one called the "stunt turkey", this is the smaller version that is on display for the family and can be used for sandwiches and stock later. Then there is the "business turkey" which is the actual turkey you will be serving. It's a bigger version of its stunt double and will already be sliced and dealt with when family arrives.

Clever huh?

Day 2 is making stock into gravy, assembling and baking the stuffing, making his cranberry relish (whole orange, some cranberries and sugar...that's it) and putting it in the fridge and, of course, knocking out all of your side dish prep. This way when the third Thursday in November rolls around all you gotta do is keep everything warm, keep everyone happy and get into the Thanksgiving nog.

Is there a Thanksgiving nog? We sure hope not.

Day 3 is roasting the stunt turkey, finishing the side dishes, roasting and dismantling the business turkey, fixing the stuffing to your liking, making the stunt turkey look all pretty and displaying the business turkey in a delightful manner.

The side dish recipes are awesome: Robuchon (use a ricer) style mashed potatoes, creamed pearl onions, candied sweet potatoes and bacon-y Brussels sprouts.

If you follow the simple rules that Bourdain lays out then your Thanksgiving should be fairly tension free. Unless uncle Jeb gets into the horse liquor again and starts chanting old Polynesian naughty limericks to the kids then you might have a problem there.

Appetites as well as Red Rooster are simply fantastic cookbooks by simply fantastic chefs that can really write as well.

We love both the chef's take on Thanksgiving, or at least components that could be construed as Thanksgiving, and it is up to you to find inspiration from both Samuelsson and Bourdain to make a memorable holiday feast.

But as both authors say, its good to have have a razor sharp and heavy chef knife, always have a "mise en place" (everything in place) in your kitchen ready to go (salt, pepper, oils, spices, onions, garlic, etc) and always have some kind of music playing. This is important to keep the rhythm of the cooking and maneuvering around the kitchen like a schizophrenic ballet more enjoyable.

But is it safe to cook while listening to Thrash Metal?

We are about to find out.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Camera, Typing & Eating
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
The Week Before Thanksgiving, 2016

Metal Influence:

BLOOD FEAST

"Chopping Block Blues"

A Grand Day Out With The Tucson Homeskillet!

The wife has been out of town for almost a month and I really haven't left the house since she left. It's odd. Being joined at the hip like we are, when she goes to train new bartenders in various locations across the US, maybe once twice a year for a few weeks, my first inclination is to get a bunch of stuff accomplished. The reality of it all is the first week she's gone I live in almost silence and seclusion. I love her more than anything but she can be quite the tornado of clothes anywhere and everywhere, towels strewn about, shoes left in the middle of walkways and lord almighty if I can't just get a corner of the comforter when she literally coils herself up in a blanket ball from her night spinning much like a thrill seeker barrel rolling down a steep hill.

So the first week I clean the house knowing it will stay clean, take as many naps as possible, listen to Metal at top volumes alongside not saying a word and just enjoying the tinkling of garden chimes and the cat purring. Around the second week I start watching movies and shows I wanna watch and possibly have one too many to drink at night as trying to sleep without struggling for a bit of sheet only makes the bed feel empty and the house somehow bigger and darker. The third week I sort of get into this groove of "being alone" and before you know it she's back and all is right with the world. Well, our little world anyway.

The Wednesday (my one true day off during the week) before she returns, I decided to make a journey of it. Getting inspired by Wallace and Gromit and their "Grand Day Out" where they go to the moon to get more cheese and then are accosted by a skiing enthusiast robot oven, I too wanted to eat and do something around Tucson that I have been meaning to get on with. So I made a list, set a course and when I woke up at the crack of noon I got in the car and began my adventure. So here are the results of a most recent Homeskillet outing.

Was it grand? Some points. But a few snags only made a beautiful late winter afternoon as close to perfect as one could hope for.

Here we go...

Stilton? Wensleydale? 

First stop was a new taco place right down the street from my house and it is called:

El Berraco

2960 N. First Ave.

What used to be El Mezon del Cobre (a fine place to eat and grab some beers while we did laundry next door at this little wash shack called Dean's Village Laundromat) is now a nautical themed Mexican food establishment that boasts some of the best and most inventive seafood fare in the neighborhood, if not the city. I mean, the outside is built to look like a submarine and when you walk through the port like doors, you enter a fairly dark and blue hued underwater themed submersible bar and restaurant, one that you might find in some overpriced water park.

It was late afternoon so the lunch rush had already come and gone. Sure there were a few people in there but when I was sat at one of their large tables in the middle of the action, I had a feeling that I was in for something good.

In the center of the long plank-like table are a bevvy of various hot sauces and along the curved walls large flat screens display the specialties of the house all keeping with the undersea motif. This place is pretty cool.

The massive Chile Relleno Taco

Scanning the menu, I instantly became a bit weary of the prices. Tacos and tostadas ranged in price from $8 to $20. For a taco? In Tucson? So I asked my server what the portions were like and with a gesture of his hands as if he were holding a football, he assured me that the food here was very generous.

"Trust me," he said with a smile, "they are like no taco you have had before."

So I ordered a taco and a tostada. He then looked at me and asked "For...just you?" This made me nervous. Did I order too much?  The tone of his voice indicated that perhaps my appetite wasn't as big as the food here. I then assured him that I "just wanted to try a good variety" and, yes, I will need a to go box. But I was so hungry I knew that I could devour all the food I just ordered. It couldn't be that big...could it?

First up was some chips and salsa but....this wasn't your average free dippin' sauce you expect in a Mexican food joint. This wasn't made with tomatoes, but rather tropical fruit, peppers and, get this, soy sauce. I had to ask because when I dunked my chip into it and took a bite I was overtaken by flavor. Simple, beautiful, fresh and imaginative. Seeing my pleasure of just sampling the salsa, he kept bringing out more for me to try. Each one was wholly different and textural from the next. Some hot, some thin, some bright, some dense but all delicious.

Soon my first item arrived. It was the Chile Relleno taco which was described as a jalapeno filled with cheese and shrimp, topped with a cabbage salad, cilantro guacamole with a creamy chipotle dressing and pickled onions. Upon first view of it, yes, my server was right, this is a very shareable taco. It was big. But I braved the sheer mass of it all and dug it.

Glorious. Absolutely filled with layers of flavor, balance of heat, crunch, savory and creamy that all came together in a wonderful array. He was right, I hadn't had a taco like this before.

Then came the tostada.

La Berraca tostada, bask in all of its glory

The La Berraca tostada features salmon, shrimp and scallops on thick warm corn tortillas in a sea of ranchero essence sauce. Now, I haven't had thick corn tortillas like this since my time living in southern California or various trips to Baja. Everything about this dish was amazing. So fresh, so clean and so considered and thought about. At this point I began to get a little light headed from all that was going on in my mouth and stomach but I trudged on and actually finished the La Berraca tostada. But between the thickness of the Chile Relleno taco, the chips and the samples of salsas and the fact that I still had a full day ahead of me, I did indeed ask for a box for the remaining taco. Note to all readers: always trust your server!

El Berraca is new but is easily on it's way to becoming a food destination here in Tucson. Owned by the same team that runs the BK franchise, this place is now something that I treasure and fear in my neighborhood. Treasure because...oh my god! Fear because...oh my god, am I eating here again? Like I need a taco habit to aid in my already expanding middle. Whatever.

When I left I was so elated that I considered going up a few blocks to the house, cuddle up with the cat and take a nap. But...no. I still had four more places to go so off I went.

The next food destination was:

Hopyard Deli

210 N. 4th Ave.

I've been wanting to try this deli ever since going to Ermano's next door but never stepped foot in there even though its open later than most delis. Now, if you've read other Homeskillet posts you know how deli obsessed I am. Seeing how rare it is to get me to come down to 4th Ave, or even downtown, I thought the Hopyard Deli must be awesome because the decent reviews and accolades are coming in from all sides. 

Well, I must have caught them on an off day. 

It was late afternoon and the place was empty. It was nice, clean, seemed like a great location to stop in for a soda and sandwich but there was nobody there. Like...nobody. Not even an employee behind the counter. I couldn't even hear anybody prepping or cleaning or...anything. So I looked around, decided to get some pastrami to go and then waited. 

And waited. 

Maybe it was self service, I don't know. After about ten minutes or so of just standing there and looking into the cameras hoping someone would see me, two teenage kids slowly emerged from the back and just sat on a table checking their phone. I had to ask, "Uh, do you work here?" The girl with the blonde dreads and stoned eyes walked behind the counter and just looked at me. The other dude in the Bonnaroo t-shirt just sat there not even acknowledging anything. So I hesitantly ordered some pastrami, which seemed like an absolute chore for her, then the dude slid off the table, rang up my order and had problems running my card because the iPhone thing was "acting all stupid". What should have taken a minute or two was like a twenty minute ordeal. Plus it was getting close to 4pm and I didn't want to be late for my next appointment, which started at exactly 4 and if you don't get there on time...the merchandise goes quick. 

In silence and non appreciation, I was handed my stack of cut meat and I dashed out the door to my next destination. 

Thanks Hopyard, now I know: Just stick to the Sausage Shop and all will be well. 

Plus the pastrami was bullcrap.

Meh

Well, after that disappointing venture, I was off to my next annex, one that I know will not let me down, because the third spot belonged to:

Barrio Bread

Various Locations (This one came from the Tucson CSA, 300 E. University in the Historic Y courtyard)

No, I did not take this picture, thanks to the good person who did

When I re-started the Tucson Homeskillet almost two years ago and totally immersed myself in the local food scene, one of the first people to friend me and who I started to follow back was Don Guerra. This alchemist of local grains and flour creates some of the tastiest bread I have ever had the privilege to put in my mouth. Working out of his garage, Don is a one man flurry of baking, spawning delicious loaf after delicious loaf and sells his wares across Tucson at random locales, usually schools and community areas.

On this particular Wednesday, he happened to have a stand set up at the Community Supported Agriculture center courtyard on University Avenue.

Pain Epi and Au Levain, in repose

I got there at exactly 4pm and there was already a line. After staking my place in the que while checking out the amazing goods for sale, I had a horrible thought: Barrio  Bread only takes cash on outings like this, and I hadn't been to an ATM in quite some time.

Crap. Thing is, I rarely carry actual money with me, so I dug out my wallet and opened it up, praying I had at least a few bucks. Luckily there was a 10 in there...whew. Not enough to buy one of each but at least to grab two of my favorites, the the Pain Epi baguette and the au Levain loaf.

What can I say, if you have never experienced what real bread tastes like, you have no idea. Follow Barrio Bread online and track them/him down. Authentic bread is honestly one of my favorite things to eat. You think it's so simple, and, in reality, it is, but it is so much more. So complex, a living thing that is nearly almost all air, but it's science so... I hate to use this word, but the flavor is transcendent. Yes...I said "transcendent".

After the disappointment from the deli, the two loaves I was lucky to get made up for it. Just the smell alone made me woozy. And when I bit into the pain epi I honestly drooled a bit on myself. Which was funny because I wasn't even hungry. Those tacos from El Berraco were still doing their job which made my next destination a bit questionable.

Real bread is so Metal

To experience their happy hour cocktails and food, my fourth location was intended to be:

Pasco Kitchen & Lounge

820 E. University

I'm sure the drinks and food were good but...

Here's the thing: I didn't get a chance to grab a drink or any food. Pasco at 4:30pm on a random Wednesday in February was PACKED. For real, there was absolutely no room at the bar, the patio was way over crowded (I mean, it was a splendiferously beautiful day so that was no surprise) and although there was a table or two open, I felt weird being alone in that sort of upscale environment, me in grubby shorts and tattered Vans, among the late afternoon scenesters and purveyors of lunchtime gossip and wine pairings.

So...I split. But I told myself I would return, hopefully with a partner and probably not as sweaty and still bloaty from the taco apocalypse I had just endured.

Sorry Pasco, but good on you! Congrats on the success. I mean, the food looked good and the cocktails appeared inviting. Hopefully next time.

Anyway, at this point my daytime adventure was winding down and I was really craving a drink. Luckily my final stop was a bar, a bar in a video store no doubt. That's right, I finally hauled my lazy butt over to:

Casa Video Film Bar

2905 E. Speedway

The day was growing pretty warm, I had been driving and walking across a good portion of the city and I was so ready for a little respite and a cold beverage to ease me into the evening. Luckily when I walked into Casa Video's beer and coffee bar I was very pleased to find it full of places to sit and was gloriously air conditioned. Not too sure why it took me so long to check this place out but...I was glad I finally did.

Beer and a movie? Um, yes please!

Their beer selection was great, covering not just Arizona breweries but many others from the Pacific and Southwest. And there was a movie playing on the various flatscreens, Badlands, a movie I hadn't seen since I was a kid. This was great, just what I needed to end my grand day out.

The bar is set up really nice too. Not only do they have fantastic beer on tap but also microbrews in bottles for sale as well. Plus they are a full service coffee bar to boot. The other bodies in the place were drinking fresh brewed coffee, but not me. I needed an ice cold beer. And I got one. An IPA from a brewery up in Flagstaff. After grabbing my frosty glass filled with golden hued goodness, I took a seat on a comfy red chair near a viewing screen and sighed deep.

To quote Ice Cube: Today was a good day.

The beer was amazing; citrusy, hoppy, balanced and, most important, very cold and a bit strong. Folks from the regular video store area would wander in to access the second floor area seeing as the only way there was through the bar. I watched Martin Sheen and a very young Sissy Spacek kill people across the acrid space of South Dakota while quaffing a delicious ale made a few hundred miles up a ways as kids munched on popcorn before ascending the stairs to select a fine foreign film or exploitation movie whilst on a cozy chair hiding from the beating sun and after work traffic outside.

Everyone should have days like this. It makes you really appreciate the city you live in. When I was a resident of San Francisco for over 12 years I would do a "discover your city" tour at least once a month. Sometimes just jumping on a train and getting off at some random neighborhood and walking around to see what you could find. Tucson is no different. I mean, our "train" only goes a few blocks here and there but, you get what I am getting at here.

And, to quote Calvin and Hobbes: There's treasure everywhere!

Perfect way to end a fun day

Sure, the deli was a flop (like I said, I probably caught it on a not so awesome day) and Pasco was filled to capacity but...still. I set out to do what I had planned to do and when I went home to think about dinner and call my wife I was greeted with the fuzzy face of our cat, laying in a box and looking at me with "so when do I get a treat?" eyes. Days like this are indeed rare but when things come together, you need to just lean back and appreciate the awesomeness of the town you live in.

Thank you Tucson. We shall meet again on another excursion like this.

And then you lucky kids get to read all about it.

How grand is that?

Lil' Poundcake...you my only friend

Camera and Typing
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Late February, 2016

Metal Influence:

DEATH ANGEL

"Seemingly Endless Time"

Seven Classic and Original Holiday Cocktails You Definitely Need To Be Drinking Right Now!

There is just something about the holiday season that just makes folks say:

"What the heck? It's Christmas! Sure, one more round...on me."

This time of year usually brings out that secret drinker in folks that normally don't imbibe on a regular basis. Maybe that's why a lot of people don't enjoy the holidays; they're too hungover to fully grasp how awesome everything is. The lights, the food, the presents, the fam...

Okay, maybe that's it. Your extended family.

When you only get to see Uncle Carl and Aunt Vera once a year, that's when the wine glasses get filled to the brim and you just plop in an extra hit of hooch into the eggnog. It's not like they're not nice people, it's just, well...Carl always has a rather, slightly, oh...shall we say, extreme view about the current political situation and Vera just has that rash. But they're family (sigh) so you gotta love 'em, right? Sure you do!

Knowing that people who read the Tucson Homeskillet fully realize that we like to imbibe on a, oh, fairly regular basis. The holidays just bring out a certain panache for cocktails and shots that we normally would pass on. Milk and eggs in my drink? Please. What are we making pancakes here? But when December hits you better believe we are noggin' it up. 

Warming up, getting ready to throw down some cold drinks

With the help of Erik (Chili) Hulten, owner of our favorite neighborhood pub, Danny's Baboquivari, we compiled seven holiday concoctions that you seriously are gonna need this time of year...especially if your brother and sister-in-law bring those kids of theirs. Yeah, the ones that like to do ballet moves and make you watch over and over again and you have to go "Oh, you're so good!" even though they suck but their overly praising parents wont tell them any different so you're stuck there trying to look around them to catch a glimpse of the game but then they catch you not watching them suck at ballet and immediately go into a tantrum. 

Well, dear readers, the Tucson Homeskillet is here to help. These drink recipes will be a sure fire hit to any family gathering, work related party, neighborhood get together or parole hearing this holiday season.

Are you ready?

Let's drink!

Chili: The Man, the Myth, the, uh...Myth Man!

1) The "Blitzen"

We're gonna start you off right here with a slightly challenging shot. This one will get you where you need to be when grandma starts talking about her girdles again. It's layered, kinda tricky, but it looks good and feels even better going down. A tad sweet but, hey, it's the holidays! 

You don't have to but using the back of a spoon to get the liquid in correct might be a good idea. Unless you're a pro like Chili here. My man just went for it.

  (all ingredients are equal amounts, just use your eye and judgement)

First/Red Layer: Grenadine

Second/Green Layer: Creme de Menthe

Third/White Layer: Vanilla Vodka

Top with Whipped Cream

 It's good right? Like I said, a bit sweet but if you just hork it down in one gulp you wont even notice. Now grandma is endorsing an adult diaper brand. C'mon man...

2) Brandy Alexander

Now, me personally, I'm not a fan of brandy. Again, it's that sweet factor. But when you put it in an old school classic like the Brandy Alexander here...forget about it. I'm in. This is the perfect cocktail to pair with that hipster cousin of yours, the one that only collects vinyl records, boasts about not owning a TV and just made assistant to the assistant manager at Blimpie's. It's sharp, creamy and very yummy next to an open fire on a chilly winter night. 

1 oz Cream or Milk

1 oz Brandy or Cognac (I actually prefer the cognac)

1 oz Creme de Cacao 

Shake well, strain and serve in a martini glass and garnish with nutmeg

Wow. That hit the spot.  Now that cousin is spinning about some new band you have never heard of and they look at you as if you are the lamest person ever because you've never heard of them. You know, John Lennon loved Brandy Alexanders. John who?

Whatever kid. Nice beard and hair bun you got going on there.

3) Irish Coffee

It's cold out. You wanna stay buzzed but need a pick me up. Mom's ham is taking forever because she forgot to turn the oven on (like always) and the Ballard's in from Indiana haven't arrived yet. It's gonna be a long night. The Ballard's always have some small yappy lap dog that pisses on your knee when it gets too excited. You need some comfort in your belly. The time honored Irish Coffee is exactly what Dr. Metal Mark ordered. Here's how we like to do it:

1 - 3 oz Jameson whiskey (depending on the size of the mug)

Good medium roast coffee, fresh brewed

Splash of Milk, hint of Sugar 

Whipped Cream spiraled and piled high on top

Put them all together and what have you got?  Salvation. The Ballard's have finally arrived and, oh...there it is, their lil dog named Choo-Choo. Isn't it sweet? Oh look, Choo-Choo just made a train for your ankle and is humping the crap out of it. Best to just ride it out. Drink your Irish Coffee, listen to Tony Bennett sing "The Christmas Song" and secretly ask Santa for a small catapult, one just big enough for a horny lap dog to be put into orbit. 

Ahh...

4) Egg Nogg (yes with two G's then put umlauts over them to make it more Metal)

It isn't Christmas if there isn't some eggnog around, am I right? Sure, at the office holiday party they just serve it up all milky, eggy and straight. Not at your place though. Oh no no no. At your place you like to light the nog on fire, literally, with some form of brown booze. When your neighbor brings over some weird olive loaf for the potluck, you're gonna need to suck one of these down before giving that misshapen log a go. Here's a step by step method on making the cold nights cheery and bright.

4 Egg Yolks/4 Egg Whites

1/3 cup + 1 tbs Sugar

Pint of Real Whole Milk

I cup Heavy Cream

Nutmeg

Beat egg yolks until they lighten in color. Slowly add sugar till dissolved. Add the milk, cream and nutmeg. Beat egg whites (in a separate bowl) until soft. Beat in 1tbs sugar. Whisk egg whites with mixture. Chill.

Now here's the best part:

Add 1-3 oz Spiced Rum, Bourbon or Whiskey

Oh man that's good. The Egg Nogg you just made I mean. Oh, that olive loaf thing? Hideous. What is that? Some kind of cheese, or...?  Doesn't matter. Just put that jagged piece of shame at the end of the table (precariously near the trash bin)  and all will be merry.

And the stockings were hung with care, under a big TV and next to the toilets

5) Chili's Special Mulled Wine

You know that one person in your life that only drinks wine, and, like, only on special occasions. But when they do, hoo doggies!, the entertainment begins. The introvert becomes the center of attention, the quiet become the noise makers and the usually sober become a mockery of that notion. Chili here has concocted a special blend of the classic Mulled Wine for your holiday merrymaking. You think Agnes from accounting gets a little "feisty" when she's had some Chablis? After a rock n roll of this stuff, the socks come off and she's moonwalking into your crotch region. Let's go:

Nice (or cheap as hell) Red Wine or Port

Splash of Jack Daniels Honey Whiskey

Splash of Jack Daniels Fire Whiskey

Heat this stuff for a minute in the microwave, serve hot

See, you don't need to add all those mulling spices and whatnot...the flavored booze does all that work for you. No joke, this is powerful stuff and really really delicious. So much in fact that Agnes just downed another glass of it. Oh no, here she comes again. Now she's singing Adele while pointing in your general direction wearing  reindeer antlers with little bells at the end. Time to flee.

6) Holiday Punch (In The Face)

Sometimes in the midst of the holidays you just miss the drinks of summertime's past. The days now are short, its dark around 5pm and when the alarm goes off in the morning it's still bleak and damp out. You don't really want to deviate from the traditional drinks of the season but, well, you do recall that electric fruit punch you enjoyed at that beach party in July and, oh man, would that go down easy right now. Chili has just the solution. His Holiday Punch is a throwback to warmer days and nights yet still holds true to holiday libations. You know those pictures of Santa Claus in a Hawaiian shirt cold lampin' on a beach in a fold out chair? It's sort of like that. You've seen those images because your balding chumguzzler of a cousin freakin' loves Jimmy Buffett. Ugh. And when he throws on "Christmas Island" into your well thought out Pandora holiday mix, all you can do is suck down like ten of these.  For real.

Light Bodied Red Wine

Cranberry Juice

Ginger Ale

Squeeze of Lime and Lemon

Vodka

Mix this all together and serve on the rocks in a festive glass with an orange slice garnish

No need for absolute pours for this devise, you're a big kid now and you can control whatever levels of juice and booze you want.  Have fun! And get that Jimmy Buffett crap out of the mix. We're trying to have a party here, not a regret filled white guy's mid life crisis intervention. 

Jeeze.

Merry jingle...uh...ho ho...um...yeah, I'll have another

7) Santa's Little Sperm Sample

It's getting late. Most of the food has been eaten. Grandpa is snoring in the easy chair. The kids are off playing video games. Your niece is showing you her new art project, one that involves tampons and shellac. The music is humming in the distance when you get a text from your buddy. "Doing last call at the bar...u down?", it reads. Yeah, you down. But knowing that your friends are probably much more blotto than you and you are not ready to leave the coziness and flavor of Christmas behind just yet, you're going to need a little incentive. This shot will get you there, quick, along with keeping with the spirit of things. The name of this shot is perfect because, well, if ol' K. Kringle does, you know, "donate" to the facilities here and there I bet it would taste something like this. It lingers in cinnamon, hovers in spice, has a distinct pumpkin kick and is, uh, creamy as well. And it's scrumptious. Just ask Ms. Claus.

It's easy, all you need is:

Molly's Pumpkin Spice Irish Cream

Fireball Whiskey

That's it. Combine the two ingredients in equal parts in a chilled shot glass and down the hatch! Now you are ready to go out with your dorky friends and make an evening's worth of bad decisions. But, hey!, it's the holidays so...why not?


Hope you enjoy these drinks just as much as we did. Remember: Be cool about how much you drink though. I mean, look at my face in the picture below. You don't wanna end up like that do ya? Of course not.


Cheers!

Metal Mark has lost count as to how many Holiday Punches he has had...typical

Camera and Typing
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Second Week in December, 2015

Metal Influence

King Diamond

"No Presents for Christmas"