If This Place Was Just Called "Dave" It'd be Weird

First let me preface that all of the photos I took were done by my phone. Not even my new fancy phone, my old one that had a crack in the lens. In a place like Dave and Busters I really didn't feel safe bringing my camera camera so apologies for the slightly fuzzy and kinda crappy shots.

Plus lugging a high-end digital camera around while trying to balance a beer and steer on some Fast and Furious machine would totally suck. So there's that as well.

Anyway, Tucson finally got itself one of these mega-clusters of food, booze and games and its about time we say. Located in the Tucson Marketplace area just off of South Park Avenue and East Benson Highway, nestled between a movie theater and a god awful Asian buffet (that surprisingly serve decent quesadillas, go figure) Dave and Busters is the kind of family Petri dish of overly excited kids, bored teens, half drunk dads and cell-phone staring moms that you always dreamed about.

I think we've been to one, maybe, back in either California or Texas and, if blurry memory serves, it was kind of fun. So on a searingly hot day with convection oven winds, the Homeskillet crew rallied up and set out to eat, drink and get high score.

This is what went down.

Full on Vegas mode with this place

The way Dave and Busters works is this: If you wanna play games, which you totally do, you purchase a Power Card, which is a card that you 'power up' with cash and can 'recharge' once your credits get low. Like $30 gets you 200 credits, or something like that. Each game requires a certain amount of credits. For example, Skee-Ball is perhaps 2 credits but some surround sound IMAX 3-D type game will be, say, 12. You get the idea right? Most places like this have the exact same method to take your money. But...whatever.

We went on a Wednesday, which we highly recommend, because on Wednesdays all games are discounted. That 12 credit IMAX 3-D game is now 6 credits. Get it? Good. So we loaded up our Power Cards then went to the bar to get slightly loaded.

So sweet, so unnecessary 

Note to all readers: Avoid any and all glow in the dark / snocone / anything that has gummy worms hanging from them drinks. They are pricey, they suck and most of all they are sugary frosted glops with a hint of booze. Just stick to your usual cocktail or beer. Trust here. In fact, the pours we got from the young bartender were actually kind of impressive. So stick with what you know.

As we were sipping away, we couldn't help but notice that the whole stretch of the room, equipped with a restaurant, sports bar, separate eating area and huge game space, looked and sounded a lot like a Las Vegas casino. With the exception of cigarette smoke (you can't even vape in D&B's, thank jeebus) we could have been at some bar in the Venetian, except the one armed bandits were replaced with Big Buck Hunters and Pac Man games with screens 10 feet high.

While we were surveying our afternoon territory, we were beginning to get a bit grumbly in yon tummy so a glance at their menu was in order.

Um...okay!

The fare at Dave and Busters is kind of what you would expect. Pages of hot wings, "shareable" appetizers loaded with sliders and cheesy bacon covered fries, nachos, burgers, meat stuffed sandwiches and deep fried cheese.

Eh.

What was kind of surprising was their selection of salads such as an apple pecan option, a baby kale Caesar and Thai chicken chopped. These actually didn't sound too horrible.

There's also a wide selection of pasta dishes, steaks, ribs, seafood and even a tomato feta soup. Not bad D&B, not bad.

Here's the thing: They put calorie counts on each dish so you know what you are getting into before ordering. No sodium count because if they did, no one would order any of this stuff. Or carbs, Or sugar or saturated fat. I'm thinking the food at D&B is loaded with unnecessary amounts of salt and sugar, enough to put any diet right into the dustbin.

It is absolutely rare here to find a dish under 1000 calories. There's a grilled salmon for about 800, most side salads and soups hover around 200...and that's about it. I mean, you're not coming to Dave and Busters for its farm-to-fork chef driven dishes, you're here to grub on some sloppy and slightly not bad food and play arcade games till your eyes bleed and your thumbs go numb. Right?

Taking a walk around the dining area, the food actually didn't look all that bad either. But between the 5 of us we opted to go for something called, yep, Fives All Around. This long plate came loaded with 5 pieces of chicken quesadilla, 5 pretzel dogs, 5 crispy shrimps, a bunch of dipping sauces and house cut crinkle chips. This monster app was over 3000 calories but, hey, between the 5 of us, for each, that's like, uh...let's see. Carry the 3 into...umm...

Oh forget it.

Anyway, the food wasn't horrible. So...there's that.

Wait, did you wash that cube before...oh nevermind

Then it was time to get down and play some games. This is what Dave and Busters is all about anyway.

We wont get into too much about this because, you know, this is a food blog, but we will say the games were new, clean, loud and fun. Most of the racing games came equipped with wind machines to give you that extra feeling of speed and vigorously shook as well. I spent a lot of time playing the Star Wars Battle Pod. Literally you are in an enclosed game egg and you get to fly X-Wings, Snow Speeders and Speeder Bikes. So many credits went bye-bye with this game. A must do for serious Star Wars nerds.

That and Mario Kart in which you can compete with three of your friends. A good hour was spent doing this one. So freakin' fun.

Not even between the 5 of us, nope

So there you have it: The Tucson Homeskillet does Dave and Busters. We had a great time, it was really hot out so we stayed cool and we were kind of impressed with the bar style family fare they served. I mean, we really didn't eat any because, well...why would you? I mean, the food here has to be better than the neighboring buffet (will not give its name but....you'll see when you get here, just don't...) but when we come back, which we so will because we still have a bunch of credits on our Power Cards, we might go nibble a bit here and there.

But we are going to share! Just don't trust the nutritional scree of caloric blood pressure infusers they serve up.

But they do have tot-chos. And if you know us, we love us some tot-chos.

Next time Dave and Busters.

Next time...

And you know what...it wasn't horrible

Camera, Typing, Eating and Drinking
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
It's Too Hot Out, 2017

Metal Influence:

THE SWORD

"Warp Riders"

And The Award Should Have Gone To...

We can't say how honored and proud we are that Metal Mark is contributing to the publication that puts out the Best Of Tucson every year. He is having a lot of fun and thanks for reading his stuff.

Okay, enough of the pleasantries...let's get down to the brass tacks here.

Every year the Best Of's come out and every year we go "No! Are you kidding? That place over the other one? Come on Tucson. You're killing us Smalls..."

Thing is, the publication has very little to do with the choices. It's the good people of Tucson that do most of the voting. So this is on you T-town. You brought this on yourself. 

While most of the arts and entertainment, kid's stuff, home and garden winners we are fine with but when it comes to the food part we always slap our collective foreheads with disinclination and slight horror at some of the choices that run away with the trophies. Sure, a good portion of the winners and runners up are great but there are always a few that we can't get on board with. It's as if the polls went out in the late 90s and never got changed.

So this year we are going to do our own Best Of and we hope you can agree with some of the things we agree on.

Agreed?

Lets do this.


PS: We are not in the business of pissing anybody off; this is purely for entertainment and just our own dopey opinions...that's all. So apologies to anyone that gets mussed up about our preferences. Cheers.
 


Best Delicatessen
Their pick: Dickman's Meat and Deli
Tucson Homeskillet's pick: The Sausage Shop
 

C'mon man. The Sausage Shop wasn't even mentioned. This place rules.

Dickman's is cool but in our humble food opinion the little deli that could, that being the Sausage Shop, just plain dominates.

The bajillion different styles of sandwiches are all amazing, their meat counter selection is incredible and if you bag a deer or accidentally run over a bear just bring that beast in and they will break it down for you for an agreeable fee. No really. These guys know their meat and in such a small space they do the deli game a big favor.

Anyway, not to dis on Dickman's but if you haven't been to the Sausage Shop please do yourself a favor and do so. It might change your mind to switch your vote for Best Delicatessen next year. It might.

Just sayin...

Gaze upon the glory that is the Sausage Shop

 Best Place To Get A Sandwich
Their pick: Beyond Bread
Tucson Homeskillet's pick: Sausage Deli
 

Okay, we didn't want to dote on the Sausage Shop too much but we will drool over the Sausage Deli for a bit.

It looks as if we just love sausage...don't we?

Beyond Bread is great but we went for a single stand alone place for our sandwich spot pick. The Sausage Deli is awesome, they have a fun bar with a great craft beer selection and the layout is more cafeteria style than an open forum of scattered tables. The Sausage Deli just has this East coast 'get in here, get your sandwich, eat it then get on with your life' feel to it, which we like.

If you want to laze about and sip coffee and click on your laptop for hours then, yeah, Beyond Bread is totally made for that. And the sandwiches there are good...we just like the Sausage Shop's sandwiches a bit more though.

Which brings us to the next category:

Best Sandwich
Their pick: The Cheesesteak at Frankie's
Tucson Homeskillet's pick: The Omar from Sausage Deli
 

Here's the thing: We frikkin LOVE Frankie's. It is one of our neighborhood go-to places for a cheesesteak sandwich but, here's the thing...you can get a cheesesteak at a lot of places. Not as good as Frankie's most likely, but if you go to Philly they are all over the place.

But the Omar? That is a Sausage Deli original.

It sounds pretty basic when you break it down: Turkey, salami, Swiss cheese with bell peppers, onions, pepperoncinis, mustard and house Italian dressing on an onion roll (we prefer the sub style though), but when you eat it the Omar takes on a whole new sandwich dimension.

We love the Omar so much that we even did an ode to it a while ago. Remember that one? We sure did.

The Omar didn't even place this year and that is a weird and crying shame.

Go to the Sausage Deli, get an Omar, vote for it next year and we can all live in some kind of syncopated serenity all thanks to a sandwich.

It can be done!


Best Greek Food
Their pick: Opa!
Tucson Homeskillet's pick: Either Pappoule's or Greek House

Opa! is awesome. We know the family that runs it, its near the compound, its always a delight....nothing bad to say about Opa!.

But have you had the gyros at Pappoule's? Yeah, pretty righteous and apparently very authentic. When we are in that neighborhood we always make a plan to grab some Pappoule's to go. It has yet to disappoint. See, a true Greek gyro should have very little on it, especially no lettuce, and a lot of Greek restaurants insist on putting a bunch of crap on your gyro. Just give us the gyro bro! Hold the stupid lettuce! Hold it between your knees!

Pappoule's didn't even place for Best Of and we just wanted to shed some light about their food, which is great and as close to the real deal as you can get.

Next up is going to be the fairly new Greek House restaurant. It wont be long until that starts winning some votes. Watch. You watch.

Yeah.

Best Vegetarian Restaurant
Their pick: Lovin' Spoonfuls 
Tucson Homeskillet's pick: Renee's Organic Oven
 

With the expanding culinary scene here in Tucson the choices for vegetarian and vegan establishments continues to grow and grow. We bet by next year there will be another good dozen or so places to get non-meaty, non-animal based dishes to satisfy your belly and conscience.

Unfortunately Lovin' Spoonfuls always wins Best Vegetarian because a lot of folks just think that's the only option in town.

Its not. By a long shot.

We personally love Renee's Organic Oven. Their Italian inspired items that can be gluten free if you need  are really tasty and fresh. Their black bean hummus that goes with a lot of dishes is innovative and a bit tangy. You just need to get out there and try for yourself. It's a little place on Sabino Canyon and Tanque Verde so it might be slightly out of the way for some of you (as it is for us) but it is well worth the trip.

Plus Renee is really cool and she's there a good amount of time so, there's that.

Best Salsa
Their pick: Guadalajara Grill
Tucson Homeskillet's pick: Rosa's Mexican Food
 

Okay, Guadalajara always wins Best Salsa because they make it fresh right there at your table and, yes, it's pretty darn good.

But, c'mon now...the house salsa at Rosa's is the best thing ever.

It is spicy, it is flavorful and best of all it is garlic-tastic. Every time we have even have a hint of a cold we b-line it to Rosa's and order up something hot and steamy then smother it with their salsa. It is a cure all and we're sure it is what keeps us looking good and smelling even better.

It's the garlic.

Rosa's salsa is just necessary and a Tucson treasure.

But they wont make it table side because then you'd find out what their secret ingredients are.

We know what one ingredient is.

Yeah. Its the garlic. We just said that.

Weren't you reading?

Gosh.

Rosa's salsa = Yum

Best Breakfast
Their pick: Blue Willow

Best Brunch
Their pick: Prep and Pastry

Tucson Homeskillet's pick for both: Baja Cafe

Blue Willow is great for when the folks are in town. Its that kind of a spot. Its good but its not blow your socks off great. It's fun and clean. Your parents like that.

Prep & Pastry continues to dazzle but we feel they are a bit heavy with the pork belly. We like pork belly its just that...you know. In moderation.

Then you have the plethora of other options that are always a delight: Bobo's, Frank's, Mother Hubbard's, Robert's, etc, that we love and will always love but there is one (well two now) place that we just can't get enough of.

Baja Cafe just slays for breakfast and brunch. The benedicts are really hearty and fanciful, the pancakes are incredible and everything else is just plain awesome. The thing is is that Baja only serves breakfast and lunch and closes at 2pm, so you gotta get there early. And we highly suggest getting there a bit early. The place fills up fast.

A word of warning: Don't go on Sundays unless you wanna wait an hour for a table! No, for real, both locations are packed on Sundays so we are there most days but. Unless you like waiting a while for eggs and corned beef.

Well, it is worth it so...its up to you.

Plus Baja has a full bar too. Did we mention that? Well now we did.

Put another gold star by their name for that addition.

So good.

Yep, these are one of the benedicts. Yep, they are amazing.

Best Sushi
Their pick: Sushi Garden
Tucson Homeskillet's pick: Anywhere but...
 

The Beardown Roll at K Sushi

Sushi Garden? Really Tucson? Really?

Look, maybe at one point long ago the Garden was the spot for raw fish wrapped in seaweed and covered in rice but the sushi game in the T-dizzle has changed son.

Changed!

At this point Sushi Garden is a sports bar that serves Japanese "inspired" meals but it is far from being the best sushi in town.

Far!

Sorry to harp on the place, we don't mean any disrespect, but places like Kazoku, Sushi Ten, Samurai, Shogun, K Japanese, Ikkyu, Obon and so on and so on literally destroy the factory like flavor at Sushi Garden. You kids need to get out there and sushi explore for yourself. This one just feels as if you looked on your ballot from the last ten years and went "Oh, yeah, that place. It's fine."

Which it is. Sushi Garden is fine. Good bar, comfy patio, decent lunch buffet, all that, but the wizard-like ingeniousness that is coming from tucked away locations by chefs that have honed their craft and continue to push the flavor envelope further and further is what we are focusing on here. Just awesome family run businesses that are serving up amazing food.

It's up to you Tucson! Now get out there and get you some sushi. Some real sushi.

Do it!

The Passion Roll at Kazoku

Best Neighborhood Bar
Their pick: Tap and Bottle
Tucson Homeskillet's pick: Danny's Baboquivari Lounge
 

Tap and Bottle is awesome. But here's the thing:

It is not a "bar" and it is not located in a real "neighborhood".

This win just feels like people just see the name of the place in the paper and went "Oh yeah. They serve beer. That's a bar. Whee!"

Yeah. No.

A real neighborhood bar is in a real neighborhood and the corner of 6th Avenue and 7th Street isn't exactly a "neighborhood", its more of a destination when you are shopping and eating up on 4th or getting some supplies at Miller's across the street. Not a lot of homes in the vicinity.

And a "bar" serves liquor and mixed drinks as well. Tap and Bottle is just craft beer and select wine service, so it can't be officially labeled as a bar. See where we're getting at here?

Our vote, as usual, goes to Danny's Baboquivari Lounge; a real bar in a real neighborhood.

Danny's placed for Best Dive Bar this year but it is far from a dive. It's cozy, relatively safe, great staff, good beer selection, honest drinks and above all it is in a neighborhood. Yes. There are homes surrounding the place, there are regulars, heck...WE are regulars. We're at Danny's like 4 to 5 times a week. We love this place.

And we also love that Danny's won Best Jukebox in Tucson. Anything that holds old school Metallica, 70s yacht rock and classic hip-hop we are so down with.

So on any given night (not too late because we're old and have to get up early) you might find the Homeskillet crew nestled at the bar with some of our good friends and, yes, neighbors, enjoying a stiff drink and eating from some of the diverse food trucks they get on a regular basis.

Cheers on that!

That would be Metal Mark on the far right with some pals at Danny's

Best Beer Selection
Their pick: Tap and Bottle (again)
Tucson Homeskillet's pick: Old Chicago 

Yes, Tap and Bottle gets some really amazing craft and small cask beers. Yes. On any given day you can drink from around the world or just up the street. They get some fantastic brews and we applaud them for that.

So does the Tucson Hop Shop. And we love them as well.

But check this out. None of the local places has a selection of 110 beers at any given moment. That's one hundred and ten...beers! For that you're going to need some corporate backing and Old Chicago on Campbell Avenue has that.

Sorry, we know you are reading this and sticking your nose up at a fairly large chain concept, but Old Chicago is about as un-corporate-y as you can get and their selection of beers is astounding.

Why we pick them over, say, the Yard House or something like that is because the people that work there love what they do and do a darn fine job getting some hard to reach beers and near impossible ales from around the globe. With their World Beer Tour (which we have tried and failed at...now that's a lot of beer!) you can even earn rewards like free food just because you love drinking beer. Drink beer, get free stuff. Done.

Look, please please support local businesses such as Tap and Bottle and the Hop Shop but don't forget to sneak into Old Chicago to see what's new on the board. You'd be surprised.

We always are.

Which brings us to our final category and pick:


Best Bartender
Their pick: Barbacide Trujillo (Club Congress)
Tucson Homeskillet's pick: Sherra Stewart (Old Chicago)

Now here is where things might get sticky, and we apologize in advance:

Barb Trujillo is awesome. We love her, she is a Tucson tradition and institution and we have nothing bad to say and will never have anything bad to say about her. This isn't personal. At all. 

Thing is...there are other amazing bartenders out there. 

Jana at Danny's, running around like a crazy squirrel (even now when she's super pregnant) is one of the best ever, or Kimmy or Jerica...we just love everyone at Danny's. We're a bit biased. 

But we pick Sherra Stewart at Old Chicago because she is able to create relationships and be creative within a "corporate" environment and it shows that she really enjoys and loves what she does. 

Sherra's influence gets us regular barrel taps from local and international breweries, she cooks food for events and kickoff parties, she travels around the US training other Old Chicago bartenders to try and be as awesome as her (wont happen, she is too awesome), she invented her own spicy Bloody Mary mix that got her front page recognition, she has a loyal fan base, she's funny, she's brash and she always has a big smile on her face. 

And she has been there for over 12 years now. That's a dedication in which we can support and we totally love.

What we are trying to say here without making anyone upset or burning bridges is that there seems to be a pattern with the Best Ofs year after year. Changes are rare it appears with the winners and runners up and with us scooting around town trying new and different restaurants and bars, we come across so many amazing servers, dishes, chefs, bartenders and the like and it'd be nice to see some diversity. That's all. Tucson is just chock full of awesomeness and we just wanted to give some recognition to some of the good people, and food, and drinks, that we personally love and admire and we hope you will visit them sometime soon to see, and vote, for yourself. 

That's all.

We cool?

Hope so.
 

Sherra and her award winning Bloody Mary...so spicy and good

And another thing!

Nico's was voted Best Burrito in Tucson. Umm...not too sure about this one. There are just far too many options out there right now that destroy Nico's (although we do love us a Pollo Asado now and then) so this one felt like it was phoned in. You need to get out there for yourself to see, and eat, all of the incredible burrito options this city has to offer. 

We prefer Sher-E-Punjab over Saffron for Indian food. But that's just us. 

Still waiting on some real down home, kick butt BBQ. Red's is doing well as are a few small food trucks but the continual winner in this category has never impressed us. Sorry, just saying.  

We really like what the kids over at Pueblo Vida Brewing are doing with seasonal ales and lagers. The winner and finalists in the Best Brewery are fine but we just have a taste for Pueblo Vida. 

Don Guerra of Barrio Bread makes the best bread in the universe. He came in second...sorry but wrong. Our man shuts down any bread making business but thanks for trying. 

Not too sure if Serial Grillers is even doing a food truck anymore now that they are opening up a second brick and mortar. So our vote will go to American Flying Buffalo where chef Eddie takes you on a culinary ride  through Asia, the south Bronx, the deep south and, of course, the Old Pueblo. Really good stuff. 

But we are totally stoked that Yoshimatsu got best Japanese and Boca Tacos Y Tequila got, yes, best tacos. So cheers on that.

Okay, enough ranting. 

Let's do this again next year shall we? See you then...

Uploads, Typing and Opinions:

"Metal" Mark Whittaker

A Few Days Before Election Day, 2016

Metal Influence:

ANNIHILATOR

"King of the Kill"

  

"Wait...That Tiki Bar On Broadway Serves Food! Really? I Didn't Know That."

You probably haven't been here since college. But...you know this place.

Kon Tiki.

Yeah, that Polynesian themed island getaway bar that serves up some serious drinks in kitchy goblets and steins up on Broadway and Swan. You know, Kon Tiki. Remember? You 'member.

In college you most likely came here because the drinks were huge and strong and they had a happy hour that dished out some free grub. You were young, you were broke, you wanted to get faced so this was the place you probably ended up in.

Right?

Probably.

The free happy hour buffet...um, thanks but no thanks, although the meatballs were good

But now you're all grown up and you haven't been back since you graduated. You have a real adult job, you drink real adult drinks, you eat at real adult places with white linen set tables or tolerate locations that have jungle gyms and Whack-A-Moles for your kids to play with as you talk about adult things with your adult friends as you sip those adult drinks.

Why should you go back to Kon Tiki after all these years? That's, like...college era you. Right?

So why a feature on Kon Tiki, a bar most Tucson residents have been to at least once, be it voluntarily or talked into by ne'er-do-well roommates?

Uh...because of the food, dude. It's good.

Real good.

Real adults drinking, um...well they're drinking all right

Honestly, we kind of forgot about Kon Tiki too and the fact that they actually served food there. No, seriously.

A few years back, when the Homeskillet was just a once in a while / if we felt like posting 'blog lite', we did a feature on Kon Tiki as part of a short lived series where we buy a Groupon for random places, eat there and talk about it. We did like one or two, maybe three, Groupon article things then just moved on, or forgot about doing it all together. Anyway, even back then we were all "Oh yeah, the food here is great."

So you're probably reading this going, "C'mon, the food can't be that good. Kon Tiki?  It's a weird drunky bar and that buffet kind of sucks. Even if it is free."

Work with us here people.

Monkeys On A Stick, a classic and oh so tasty

True. The gratis fare isn't the subject here. That happy hour buffet is just free vittles for folks that need a bit of a buffer when it comes to quaffing much of their hell grog and it's cool that they do it in the first place. Its just chips, veggies, some dip...stuff like that. But they do put out some of their BBQ meatballs and those are pretty tight. Honestly its just some bits of bites, cheap as free, to keep you going and that's that.

No, you gotta order off the real food menu here kids. Trust us.

Okay, look...check this out.

Hawaiian fish tacos...just like the god Tangaroa used to make

If you can recall Homeskilleteers, a few weeks back we ended up eating the self-proclaimed "Best Burger and Burrito in Tucson"...and they sucked. So bad in fact that we needed booze immediately. Just a few blocks up was Kon Tiki, so we got ourselves a large vessel filled with all of the alcohol and some well needed tasty food.

"Oh wow," we all sort of said as we bit into our nibbles. "The food here is good. Maybe we should write about it."

Um...okay.

And here we go!

The Loko Moko, a delicious burger with an egg on it...so tropical!

So in true Tucson Homeskillet fashion we gathered up some of our closest and bravest friends and decided to order, oh, one of each from the menu.

Both the drink and food menu. C'mon, what else would you expect?

Anyway, here are the results:

JB looking concerned as Rizz slurps down another sacrificial mind drink

First, yeah, the drinks were really strong, as expected. Probably just as strong as when Kon Tiki first opened in the '60s and when you used to come here with a fake I.D. once finals were over with.

We got something called the Pele, named after the pissed off goddess of volcanoes and, boy howdy, did that thing live up to its name. Fiery, powerful and sort of lava like as it went down the gullet. Another called the 'Greenpeace' which felt like washing down a fine lawn mulch but with a distinct fruity alcohol kick to the cajones. Then there was the Fog Cutter, something called Lights Out, the Creepy Tiki, Maiden's Downfall and so forth, all of which did not list ingredients (which is probably for the best) but instead came equipped with brief descriptions of just how you might feel after you finish one:

"If strength you need, drink and it shall be granted!"

"Virgins beware!"

"The original drink was intended for a sacred ceremony until some white man found the recipe!"

Stuff like that. You get the picture.

Moa Nui chicken in coconut sauce...amazing

The crew was getting a bit tipsy but then the plethora of food arrived.

The ton of appetizers was daunting, but oh so delicious. The egg rolls were deep fried yet filled with a garden of vegetables and served with a mighty teriyaki and a sweet and sour sauce so there was a fun balance between decadent and sort of, kind of, "healthy". The BBQ ribs were hearty and sticky and fall off the bone tender. We got our pot stickers steamed which counter balanced the amount of weighty fare that was spread before us. Really good, stuffed full of savory pork with a good chew to the dumpling casing.

Then, of course, there was the classic: The Monkeys on a Stick. Tender, marinated bites of perfectly cooked medium rare steak served mini kebab style. This is essentially what saved us after eating crap food just a few blocks away. Accompanied with a stout viscid dipping sauce this dish is what you need on a daily basis.

So good.

Angry volcano deity sized pile o' rings

As people were queuing up for the free fare at the buffet, we were getting looks from all sorts; bug eyed at the amount of food we had on the table.

"Wait, they serve food here?", I overheard a portly guy ask his doppelganger wife as they glooped ranch dressing on mini carrots and ruffly potato chips atop their drooping paper plates.

Well, we hate to say it buffet jockeys, but you are officially eating food here, so, yes, they do serve "food". But if you mean like burgers, steaks, ribs, shrimp and lobster tails? Yes. Yes, Kon Tiki serves food.

And not just any kind of food, really tasty food with a distinct tropical influence.

So what are you waiting for? Do what we did and dive in!

Possibly some of the best egg rolls in town

The Loko Moko is a half pound burger of good ground beef, seasoned and cooked to order with a nice runny egg on top; it was really hefty, juicy and delicious.

There was also an order of fantastic fish tacos that were tangy and flaky with a crisp slaw and finished with a spicy aioli drizzled over. The house club sandwich could feed about three people but one of us took it down in no time flat. Piled high and served with piping hot fries, this one made us want to join whatever club they had going on, one where we would look like that Israel Kamakawiwo'ole guy in no time flat if we kept eating the way we were.

In fact, all of the plates were generous and all of it really yummy.

No really.

Jana happy/nervous about the size of her chef salad

More drinks, more food, more weird looks from bar patrons.

There was ten of us, but the feast on our tables mashed together looked as if we were on some sort of medieval gorge feast, one that would encourage many trips to the vomitorium so we can continue with the eat-a-thon.

"What did you order?"

"Oh, this is the Moa Nui."

"What's that?"

"It's, uh, a big chicken breast served with this amazing coconut sauce with a side of perfectly cooked rice and a ton of seasoned grilled vegetables."

"Good?"

*not responding because of shoveling more food in face*

The Tucson Homeskillet eating all of the foods

Alright, here is where we have to give some kind of critique.

Our server was amazing, but she was the only one on the floor so sometimes our orders took a bit longer than expected. Big whoop, it happens.

But here's the clincher:

Kon Tiki does not have a modern computer POS ticket service, something that like 90% of busy establishments utilize because, oh, we don't know, it's the 21st century and efficiency is as easy as pushing a few buttons. Sure it might cost a few extra (thousand) dollars but in the end it is so worth it. Our poor but awesome server had to divvy up the five separate checks BY HAND, doing the math, tax and all that using her brain and a small calculator, all the while juggling other demanding tables. So, yeah, we had to wait a while for the bills to arrive seeing as the place was jumping but not totally full and chaotic...enough to keep her very busy let's just say. It wasn't a big problem with us because we ordered more drinks straight from the bar and we were happy to do so, but if this was a table of people that didn't know how hard it is to be a server in a busy restaurant or empathize with a young person, probably in their like first or second job, ever, doing all they can to make things right, it could have gotten ugly.

So, Kon Tiki, this is the Tucson Homeskillet advising you to get a POS system for your servers. It'll make it easier on them, on you in the long run and you'll thank us and your patrons will thank you because of this.

You're welcome.

Metal Mark just had to get in on Jack and Chili's third Scorpion Bowl

Other than that, yes...Kon Tiki serves food. Not just bobbles of celery and broken pretzel fingers on the buffet table, but real authentic and fantastic food.

When you were going to the U of A you probably ate nothing but ramen or crap corporate pizza when you scored a coupon from the bookstore and, at the time, couldn't afford the "adult" prices from the Kon Tiki menu. Not that we're saying Kon Tiki is pricey, oh no, not even close, but when you are 19 with nothing but loose change in your pocket and school debt piling up, a $12 steak might as well be a Bugatti sports car. Thing is, you can't eat a Bugatti sports car. So...where's the fun in that?

Yeah. We don't know either.

Now you know, you gotta go

Now that you are all grow'd up and adulting like a mofo, you should go back to ye olde stomping grounds of Kon Tiki, get yourself a proper drink and order up some really grand food. It's fun, it's local, it's kind of a Tucson tradition and most importantly it's really scrumptious.

Unless you're still in college and are broke as all living heck so you just might have to wait a while. If you ask us we suggest dropping out of school, selling all of your text books and then just blowing it all on a drink and food fest at Kon Tiki. If you do decide to do this, just call us up and we'll show you how its done.

Just kidding. Stay in school kids.

Forget that. Have you had the Mahi-Mahi here? Oh my gosh, so good.

Whatever. You're an adult, you make the decision. But if we were you, we'd just eat Monkey Sticks all day and drink Zombies till we start walking like one. That, of course, is up to you.

Uh huh. Just what we thought.

See you here...

Thanks Kon Tiki!

Camera, Typing and Eating
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
At the Summer Solstice, 2016

Metal Influence: 

GRUESOME

"Savage Land"

Trident II : Eclectic Food n Booze!

We were first hipped to the Trident Grill not long after moving here to Tucson in 2006. It was at the very edge of football season, perhaps even in pre-season, and my Redskins fan friend had only one destination in mind for the game. Yep, you guessed it, the Trident Grill.

"You're going to love this place," he said rather enthusiastically as we exited the car and approached the front door. "Food is off the chain. And if your a 'Skins fan like I am this is the best place to catch a game."

We walked in and, boy, he wasn't kidding. Redskins jerseys and hats were adorned by at least 80% of the customers in the tightly packed open space. It was so busy that we almost bounced but a friendly server assured us there was space so we stuck with the original plan and stayed. Somehow we found a bit of standing room only close to the bar, ordered a couple of pints and then moved our attention to one of the various big screens showing the game. Not too sure who the Redskins were playing (the Vikings maybe?, dude, this was like almost ten years ago!) but the dedicated crowd were in a fervor with almost every play and pass.

Now, at the time, I wasn't much of a football fan, so after the first quarter I became not that interested in the game and decided that I was a bit hungry. I asked a server for a menu and when it arrived it was pretty impressive if not intimidating. 

A road sign for sore eyes

Back then the menu was really big, like food option big. Mainly focused on seafood items, the list of dishes ranged from small bites, bar food to beefy sandwiches and, of course, really massive offerings from the sea, but, like, a lot. This was the kind of menu you'd see in a space twice if not more so larger. When I glanced up towards the kitchen area I saw that it was a cramped space in the back of the restaurant with three to four guys moving, like running to get orders out on time. With a menu this packed in a space this tight I was hesitant to order anything at all. Looking closer, the dupes up on the line were at least twenty in so I made a mental note to come back later when it wasn't game time and order some food.

So I drank more beer and watched the game with my friend.

Then the Redskins lost. My friend was sad as were most of the patrons. Some got mad.

It happens.

Always a smiling face at the Trident II bar

When I finally got a chance to go back to the Trident to actually eat their food, I was a bit shocked to find out their menu had changed. It was scaled down, it was on a one sheet laminate and the prices matched the options much easier than the first time I was there. It became pretty clear that after a few Redskins games with a rather "ambitious" menu for such a mid sized area they had to meet the reality that a cramped line with a few guys on top of each other can't really bash out a Cheesecake Factory sized menu.

Okay, maybe it wasn't that big but...it was pretty imposing.

We got some crab cakes and calamari. Delicious. Very tasty, fresh and cooked to perfection. Then I think I got the Wildcat Burger, which came equipped with bacon, cheddar cheese, onion rings and the house hot bar-be-que sauce. Amazing. She-Ra got the clam chowder which was some of the best she or I have had in quite some time. It was actually nice to say the food was well worth the wait.

Oh and don't forget about the beers. Those are good too.

Trident II bartenders workin' it

It was settled then. We became regulars. Great happy hour specials, good food, awesome service, interesting beers on tap...who wouldn't be?

Then sometime in late 2015 word got out in the Tucson culinary underbelly, that owner Nelson Miller and his staff were considering opening up a new Trident Grill, possibly in the Plaza Palomino where the old Jackson Tavern used to be. Pretty soon those rumors became true as construction began right across the way from Vero Amore. In fact, if you read my haphazard escapade during the Super Bowl, that was the first time I laid eyes on the facade, which was to be called, cleverly enough: Trident II.

Trident II...I like that. I mean, some of my favorite movies are sequels, so why not just put a "Part 2" next to the original money making name? "The Empire Strikes Back"? Better than the original. "Hellboy 2"? Far superior to the first. And let's not forget, the only reason they made "Grease" is that they could make "Grease 2". No, really, I swear.

And then, after all the rumors slowly became reality and then seeing it come to life, Trident II finally opened in early 2016. Immediately I knew I had to write about it for the Homeskillet. It just seemed like too much awesome to pass up.

Nothing like good company on a beautiful day on their open patio

So on a lovely early spring afternoon I made my way to the now open Trident II only to find it just as bumpin' and packed as the original down by the U of A. Luckily I had a chance to hang out with manager Danny Gallego, who was very busy juggling issues between the bar and kitchen, and even in the really early stages of the new restaurant being open, he explained to me the reasons for expansion and the challenges that come with it.

"Well if you ever tried to dine at the original Trident Grill on any U of A game, be it home or away, you find it hard to get a seat," Danny explains with a shrug and smile. "As staff we do what we can to accommodate everyone but that is a mid-sized restaurant at best and can only hold so much. So we felt as a team that this location on Swan would be well received by all the surrounding neighborhoods and the traffic here, which there is plenty of, could create the volume of customers that is needed."

I'm always a sucker for a perfectly poured IPA

Sure the original Trident is a success and by the head count in it's sister/brother store, they are well on their way to even more progress. Yet in the early trials of a new venture there are always obstacles and hurdles that out even seasoned restaurant workers to the test.

"Everything is a challenge," notes Danny trying to maintain the crowd during a busy happy hour, "some are lessons learned and some not so much. Every restaurant owner has a plan in their head how everything will fall into place once the dust settles and the construction is done. Things out of your control pop up out of nowhere! Such as kitchen equipment working fine then suddenly shutting down right before service. Luckily you have the tools and knowledge to troubleshoot the problem if your tech guy is off skiing in Colorado when the POS (point of sale, the tickets you see streaming out of little black machines at the bar or on the line) system just decides to stop operating."

Trident II culinary team doing work

Okay, so we get that running a busy restaurant is tough work, but now for the fun stuff: The food!

Me personally am a fan of most of the items on the menu. No really, I haven't had a bad meal once, be it just a snack or a full on rager of an eat-fest. Now, I have my favorites but I just had to ask what Danny's favorite menu item was.

"Oh man," he says clapping his hands and leaning his head back as if dreaming. "Hands down the Maryland crab cakes. Unbelievable. One of our kitchen guys, Jason, is so creative. He comes up with the most outrageous food. We are so lucky to have a really talented kitchen staff like we do. Those guys earn their stripes!"

Delicious food waiting to be delivered to lucky patrons

"I wouldn't say what we are doing here 'separates' us from the original that owner Nelson (Miller) started almost fifteen years ago, but more of a 'continuation'", states Danny when I asked about the concept of Trident II and whats contrastive from the original. "Right now I'd have to say the location would have to be the obvious answer.

"We as a company consider all of our patrons family and that, right there, is what really separates us from most other restaurants. I mean, look at this," extending his hands to the throng of people seated or waiting to be. "This...this is a lot of family!"

Happy Hour in full effect

Seeing the amount of flurry on the floor and in the kitchen, servers constantly coming up and asking questions and an unexpected 12 top just showing up with no notice, I knew Danny had to get back to work so I just had to know one thing:

What is he looking forward to in the near future.

It didn't take him long to answer as he beamed saying, "Oh man, I am really looking forward to the warmer months coming up. Our patio is completely shaded after 10am and with these big ol' fans we got installed and going on here, it just might create the perfect environment to sit back, enjoy the day with a tall icy beer without getting scorched by the sun.

"We just want to create the same experience as the original and just feed off of our successes. It's funny, you'd be surprised at how many people here at the new location have never even heard about the original down on Speedway. But, hey...big shout to all Team Trident. Because of the success of the original that's why we've had the fortune to open Trident II!"

With that, Danny was whisked away by his team in need as the happy hour was winding down and the dinner rush was about to commence. Success indeed...

Just start from the left and keep moving

Feeling like Frogger in the middle of a busy highway trying to take pictures, I assessed that I had gotten what I needed, finished my beer and took off. Just like the first time at the original Trident, just as busy and lively as that initial visit, I told myself that I would be back to, yes, eat the food. Have you had their charcuterie boards, dubbed "Nelson's Love Plate"? Oh yeah, I'm gonna need some of that soon.

For now I felt the love of everyone at Trident II and know that even further prosperity is headed their way.

Just don't go back to those huge silly menus. You're doing fine now. Just...fine.

Thanks Team Trident II. Like I said before, sometimes sequels are better than the original. Not that...the first...you know...it's just that...um...

You know what I'm trying to say, right? Okay.

Cool.

The staff was having just as much fun as we were

Camera and Typing
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Early/Mid March, 2016

Metal Influence:

MASTODON

"Leviathan"