Food City: There Goes The (My) Neighborhood

Here's the thing: I was planning on writing about the closing of Food City in my neighborhood (the one at 1st and Ft. Lowell) for quite some time. Thing is, my old laptop decided to take a big poop and just stop working, right after I uploaded a bunch of photos I took of the store's last day. That day was strange indeed.

It was really odd to see the once vibrant yet slightly creffy grocery shop with empty shelves and the produce area that beamed with color from the vast varieties of peppers sit dark and barren. Even though the store was down to, oh, I'd say 40% of what they usually have in stock, people were still walking around with carts as if nothing was happening. I mean, the items that were on the shelves weren't even discounted! There was no "Last Day, All Things Must Go!" sale going on. People were just going on as if it was just another day, not the last day of their neighborhood Food City. It felt like people were shopping in a recently shelled market, still smoldering from the bombing, but needed canned Alpo and decaf Folgers stat, no matter the tragedy or depressing environment. 

The photos I got were great. That makes losing them so painful. Images of worn counters that have seen endless hands, barren refrigerated areas sitting warm and waiting to be dismantled and the butcher block that provided delicious meats and chicharron that was all but forgotten. But, whatever. Nothing I can do about it now. 

Luckily I had the chance to speak with a manager that day, mainly because I was walking around taking pictures and I wanted to be sure if it was cool to be doing that, who looked as if he was relieved that the store was on its way out. Can't really remember the exact, yet brief, conversation we had, but the sum was that all employees were taken very good care of, were being reinstated to other Basha's owned businesses or just quit and went on to other ventures as they were done scanning EBT cards and locking up baby formula because of theft. Yeah, Food City has that vibe and clientele, but for me, it was kind of magic. 

What remains of the interior of my neighborhood Food City

Having shopped in small corner bodegas for a long time back in California, it was nice to see one on steroids. Food City was like a crappy carniceria hopped up on Gamma rays. I loved it from the moment I walked into the one down the street from our house. It was the music that got me first. Loud, boisterous Cumbria and Mariachi music, all sung proudly in Spanish, unapologetically boomed throughout the spacious store. Not to mention the products. Acres of cotija cheese, Abuelita hot chocolate, marinated steak and chicken swimming in brightly colored flavor baths and avocados cheap as 2 for 5. I mean, yeah, they were bright green and hard as a rock but put those guys in a brown paper bag for a day or two and, whammo!, you got guac ready avocados sold to you for a song. 

So when the word got around that my local Food City was going to be shut down I got a little dismayed. Where am I going to buy my peppers now? What about cheap mixers for drinks? Freshly made tortillas that doesn't come from a nice lady selling them out of a truck? Donald Duck orange juice...where am I supposed to get that now? 

A week before the closure, the day I heard about it and a few days before I walked around the almost empty space with my camera, I was buying some stuff and asked the lady who was ringing me up what was to become of my beloved neighborhood Food City.

"Oh, they're going to turn this into a Wal-Mart," she said scanning my pinto beans. "Like the supermarket kind."

Not too sure what a 'hone' is

A Wal-Mart? Just a half mile from our house? At the corner of Ft. Lowell and 1st Ave? Just spitting distance from my library job? Are you serious? 

Oh yeah. She was serious. 

Having lived in mostly metropolitan cities in California, I had heard about Wal-Mart but never stepped foot in one. Why would I? There was nothing but other smaller and like minded shops to purchase toilet paper in bulk or a sheet set when it was time to change out the old abused one. The first time I walked into a Wal-Mart was late December in 2006 here in Tucson. Some new pals I had become friends with needed to buy last minute Xmas gits. We had been drinking, it was cold out and roaming the parking lot at the location on Wetmore Rd. was a nutty guy donning a mattress tied to his back. Not too sure if he was expecting to pass out soon or if he was just a busy male prostitute. Either one, I was hesitant to step through the sliding doors that would lead me into vast retail flabbergast. 

I hated Wal-Mart immediately. It was too bright, too big, smelled of fart and tube sock and with my inebriation the whole station hummed with abandoned hope and the hex of discounted feminine hygiene products. It was late, like almost midnight, a Thursday, and there were families with little kids shuffling around. That questionable account was only marred by the seeming gangs that were at hand. No seriously. Like by hardware, there was a gaggle of Crip looking dudes all dressed in blue, but over by electronics, there was a mess of guys all donning red. Was...was there going to be a rumble? In a Wal-Mart?

Luckily my friends found what they needed and we exited before any proverbial poo went down. But it took a while. There were at least twenty cashier stations but only two cashiers were seen. The lines at that Wal-Mart at midnight, the Thursday before Xmas 2006 were serpentine and dispiriting. 

It was then that I knew I was not a fan of this or any Wal-Mart. 

The surviving business in Amphi Plaza

Okay, yes, I have been to Wal-Mart's after that experience. How can you not? If your garden hose breaks, which it does after lots of use and surviving Tucson's brutal summers, you can either go to another big box store or go to Wal-Mart and get it for half the cost. Still though...that place gives me panic attacks. 

Now they want to build a "neighborhood" Wal-Mart (which is essentially a super supermarket) in my neighborhood and I have a sinking feeling this move is going to change the landscape of midtown Tucson, for better or for worse.

On top of the threat of the retail giant, lots of old homes and crappy apartments midtown are getting torn down to make way for mildly pricey condos. When I'm out working in the garden or just hanging out with Lil' Poundcake (our cat) on the patio, I can hear the pounding of hammers, the beep beep's of reversing power vehicles and the smell of freshly laid tar. 

Now, I'm not trying to sound like a curmudgeon-y old man that just don't like change 'cuz it confuses me and, well, why can't things just stay the same? If it aint broke, don't fix it! I was doin' just fine with those meth labs up the street...why tear 'em down? Stupid progress! Where's my Activia?

No. What I am saying here is that the little universe that is the square area of 1st Ave / Prince / Campbell / Grant is going to be a lot different in a few short years. Thing is, we like our little hidden cabin in the middle of all this. It's cheap, it's near everything and best of all it's fairly quiet. But with all this development, we fear of rent hikes or even getting bought out. What's going to happen to La Botana, which has one of my favorite burritos in Tucson (I'll touch on that in a future Homeskillet), that sits on the corner of Amphi Plaza, right where the neighborhood Wal-Mart is proposing to call home? Will it endure or will it become a Starbucks? I'll really miss their Percheron and their queso blanco if it does. 

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The long area of dead stores in the fading Amphi Plaza still sits in quasi memorial, a testimony to dusty ideas and failed trials of the past. Except Food City.

That place was awesome. That is something I am still dealing with. 

The stretch of the old Food City and various other abandoned business

It's just sad to walk or drive by the crumbling facade of that Food City, my old go to spot for produce and Mexican fare, just a short distance from home. All the signage is gone, all that's left is good memories...except, much like Wal-Mart, there was always like a dozen check out depots but only three staff members manning them. So, yeah, I often stood there with my blue basket full, listening to the hopping musica over the crackling speakers and being on the constant lookout for a possible cashier opening up that I can quickly dive into. But that rarely came. When the texts from She-Ra would come asking what's the hold up, all I could do was answer back "Foo Shi**y" and she would understand. 

All I want to do now is thank Food City for being there for us for so long and your graffiti'd husk is but a reminder of things moving in that could be a boon or a bust for our immediate community. It's great to see Tucson moving up and moving on to newer and bigger prospects, but I hope the new kids that do step in are cool. Because if you're cool, we're cool. But if you're not cool, well...

Don't make me turn into that crusty old man. I'm too young and I'm just not ready for that Activia stuff. 

Unless you have it on sale. 

Then... Well, let's just say we'll see what happens. 

Cheers.

Thank you Food City, sorry to see you go

Camera and Typing
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
First Day of February, 2016

Metal Influence:

Brujeria

"Matando Gueros"

Merry Holidays Homeskilleters!

Seven Classic and Original Holiday Cocktails You Definitely Need To Be Drinking Right Now!

There is just something about the holiday season that just makes folks say:

"What the heck? It's Christmas! Sure, one more round...on me."

This time of year usually brings out that secret drinker in folks that normally don't imbibe on a regular basis. Maybe that's why a lot of people don't enjoy the holidays; they're too hungover to fully grasp how awesome everything is. The lights, the food, the presents, the fam...

Okay, maybe that's it. Your extended family.

When you only get to see Uncle Carl and Aunt Vera once a year, that's when the wine glasses get filled to the brim and you just plop in an extra hit of hooch into the eggnog. It's not like they're not nice people, it's just, well...Carl always has a rather, slightly, oh...shall we say, extreme view about the current political situation and Vera just has that rash. But they're family (sigh) so you gotta love 'em, right? Sure you do!

Knowing that people who read the Tucson Homeskillet fully realize that we like to imbibe on a, oh, fairly regular basis. The holidays just bring out a certain panache for cocktails and shots that we normally would pass on. Milk and eggs in my drink? Please. What are we making pancakes here? But when December hits you better believe we are noggin' it up. 

Warming up, getting ready to throw down some cold drinks

With the help of Erik (Chili) Hulten, owner of our favorite neighborhood pub, Danny's Baboquivari, we compiled seven holiday concoctions that you seriously are gonna need this time of year...especially if your brother and sister-in-law bring those kids of theirs. Yeah, the ones that like to do ballet moves and make you watch over and over again and you have to go "Oh, you're so good!" even though they suck but their overly praising parents wont tell them any different so you're stuck there trying to look around them to catch a glimpse of the game but then they catch you not watching them suck at ballet and immediately go into a tantrum. 

Well, dear readers, the Tucson Homeskillet is here to help. These drink recipes will be a sure fire hit to any family gathering, work related party, neighborhood get together or parole hearing this holiday season.

Are you ready?

Let's drink!

Chili: The Man, the Myth, the, uh...Myth Man!

1) The "Blitzen"

We're gonna start you off right here with a slightly challenging shot. This one will get you where you need to be when grandma starts talking about her girdles again. It's layered, kinda tricky, but it looks good and feels even better going down. A tad sweet but, hey, it's the holidays! 

You don't have to but using the back of a spoon to get the liquid in correct might be a good idea. Unless you're a pro like Chili here. My man just went for it.

  (all ingredients are equal amounts, just use your eye and judgement)

First/Red Layer: Grenadine

Second/Green Layer: Creme de Menthe

Third/White Layer: Vanilla Vodka

Top with Whipped Cream

 It's good right? Like I said, a bit sweet but if you just hork it down in one gulp you wont even notice. Now grandma is endorsing an adult diaper brand. C'mon man...

2) Brandy Alexander

Now, me personally, I'm not a fan of brandy. Again, it's that sweet factor. But when you put it in an old school classic like the Brandy Alexander here...forget about it. I'm in. This is the perfect cocktail to pair with that hipster cousin of yours, the one that only collects vinyl records, boasts about not owning a TV and just made assistant to the assistant manager at Blimpie's. It's sharp, creamy and very yummy next to an open fire on a chilly winter night. 

1 oz Cream or Milk

1 oz Brandy or Cognac (I actually prefer the cognac)

1 oz Creme de Cacao 

Shake well, strain and serve in a martini glass and garnish with nutmeg

Wow. That hit the spot.  Now that cousin is spinning about some new band you have never heard of and they look at you as if you are the lamest person ever because you've never heard of them. You know, John Lennon loved Brandy Alexanders. John who?

Whatever kid. Nice beard and hair bun you got going on there.

3) Irish Coffee

It's cold out. You wanna stay buzzed but need a pick me up. Mom's ham is taking forever because she forgot to turn the oven on (like always) and the Ballard's in from Indiana haven't arrived yet. It's gonna be a long night. The Ballard's always have some small yappy lap dog that pisses on your knee when it gets too excited. You need some comfort in your belly. The time honored Irish Coffee is exactly what Dr. Metal Mark ordered. Here's how we like to do it:

1 - 3 oz Jameson whiskey (depending on the size of the mug)

Good medium roast coffee, fresh brewed

Splash of Milk, hint of Sugar 

Whipped Cream spiraled and piled high on top

Put them all together and what have you got?  Salvation. The Ballard's have finally arrived and, oh...there it is, their lil dog named Choo-Choo. Isn't it sweet? Oh look, Choo-Choo just made a train for your ankle and is humping the crap out of it. Best to just ride it out. Drink your Irish Coffee, listen to Tony Bennett sing "The Christmas Song" and secretly ask Santa for a small catapult, one just big enough for a horny lap dog to be put into orbit. 

Ahh...

4) Egg Nogg (yes with two G's then put umlauts over them to make it more Metal)

It isn't Christmas if there isn't some eggnog around, am I right? Sure, at the office holiday party they just serve it up all milky, eggy and straight. Not at your place though. Oh no no no. At your place you like to light the nog on fire, literally, with some form of brown booze. When your neighbor brings over some weird olive loaf for the potluck, you're gonna need to suck one of these down before giving that misshapen log a go. Here's a step by step method on making the cold nights cheery and bright.

4 Egg Yolks/4 Egg Whites

1/3 cup + 1 tbs Sugar

Pint of Real Whole Milk

I cup Heavy Cream

Nutmeg

Beat egg yolks until they lighten in color. Slowly add sugar till dissolved. Add the milk, cream and nutmeg. Beat egg whites (in a separate bowl) until soft. Beat in 1tbs sugar. Whisk egg whites with mixture. Chill.

Now here's the best part:

Add 1-3 oz Spiced Rum, Bourbon or Whiskey

Oh man that's good. The Egg Nogg you just made I mean. Oh, that olive loaf thing? Hideous. What is that? Some kind of cheese, or...?  Doesn't matter. Just put that jagged piece of shame at the end of the table (precariously near the trash bin)  and all will be merry.

And the stockings were hung with care, under a big TV and next to the toilets

5) Chili's Special Mulled Wine

You know that one person in your life that only drinks wine, and, like, only on special occasions. But when they do, hoo doggies!, the entertainment begins. The introvert becomes the center of attention, the quiet become the noise makers and the usually sober become a mockery of that notion. Chili here has concocted a special blend of the classic Mulled Wine for your holiday merrymaking. You think Agnes from accounting gets a little "feisty" when she's had some Chablis? After a rock n roll of this stuff, the socks come off and she's moonwalking into your crotch region. Let's go:

Nice (or cheap as hell) Red Wine or Port

Splash of Jack Daniels Honey Whiskey

Splash of Jack Daniels Fire Whiskey

Heat this stuff for a minute in the microwave, serve hot

See, you don't need to add all those mulling spices and whatnot...the flavored booze does all that work for you. No joke, this is powerful stuff and really really delicious. So much in fact that Agnes just downed another glass of it. Oh no, here she comes again. Now she's singing Adele while pointing in your general direction wearing  reindeer antlers with little bells at the end. Time to flee.

6) Holiday Punch (In The Face)

Sometimes in the midst of the holidays you just miss the drinks of summertime's past. The days now are short, its dark around 5pm and when the alarm goes off in the morning it's still bleak and damp out. You don't really want to deviate from the traditional drinks of the season but, well, you do recall that electric fruit punch you enjoyed at that beach party in July and, oh man, would that go down easy right now. Chili has just the solution. His Holiday Punch is a throwback to warmer days and nights yet still holds true to holiday libations. You know those pictures of Santa Claus in a Hawaiian shirt cold lampin' on a beach in a fold out chair? It's sort of like that. You've seen those images because your balding chumguzzler of a cousin freakin' loves Jimmy Buffett. Ugh. And when he throws on "Christmas Island" into your well thought out Pandora holiday mix, all you can do is suck down like ten of these.  For real.

Light Bodied Red Wine

Cranberry Juice

Ginger Ale

Squeeze of Lime and Lemon

Vodka

Mix this all together and serve on the rocks in a festive glass with an orange slice garnish

No need for absolute pours for this devise, you're a big kid now and you can control whatever levels of juice and booze you want.  Have fun! And get that Jimmy Buffett crap out of the mix. We're trying to have a party here, not a regret filled white guy's mid life crisis intervention. 

Jeeze.

Merry jingle...uh...ho ho...um...yeah, I'll have another

7) Santa's Little Sperm Sample

It's getting late. Most of the food has been eaten. Grandpa is snoring in the easy chair. The kids are off playing video games. Your niece is showing you her new art project, one that involves tampons and shellac. The music is humming in the distance when you get a text from your buddy. "Doing last call at the bar...u down?", it reads. Yeah, you down. But knowing that your friends are probably much more blotto than you and you are not ready to leave the coziness and flavor of Christmas behind just yet, you're going to need a little incentive. This shot will get you there, quick, along with keeping with the spirit of things. The name of this shot is perfect because, well, if ol' K. Kringle does, you know, "donate" to the facilities here and there I bet it would taste something like this. It lingers in cinnamon, hovers in spice, has a distinct pumpkin kick and is, uh, creamy as well. And it's scrumptious. Just ask Ms. Claus.

It's easy, all you need is:

Molly's Pumpkin Spice Irish Cream

Fireball Whiskey

That's it. Combine the two ingredients in equal parts in a chilled shot glass and down the hatch! Now you are ready to go out with your dorky friends and make an evening's worth of bad decisions. But, hey!, it's the holidays so...why not?


Hope you enjoy these drinks just as much as we did. Remember: Be cool about how much you drink though. I mean, look at my face in the picture below. You don't wanna end up like that do ya? Of course not.


Cheers!

Metal Mark has lost count as to how many Holiday Punches he has had...typical

Camera and Typing
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Second Week in December, 2015

Metal Influence

King Diamond

"No Presents for Christmas"

Uncle Bob's Popcorn: A Tucson Institution and Family Tradition

Apparently I have been eating Uncle Bob's Popcorn since I moved to Tucson in 2006 but had no clue. 

There was a bar we used to frequent down on 4th Avenue that had this jalapeno popcorn blend and was, literally, the only real reason we went there. The place was okay, prices a bit much and pours and bit low but, oh man, that popcorn. It was so delicious. 

A server there said that they made it on premises and the recipe was a secret. So we kept going back, even though parking sucked and it was favored by pushy students and scenesters that don't know how to tip.  

About a year or so later, just a perchance drive by on Columbus Avenue, headed for lunch on Speedway, we passed by a building with a captivating name and premise:

Uncle Bob's Popcorn, it said. 

This struck me as awesome because my middle name is Robert and I am named after my late zany uncle, Robert Barron, whom I called 'Uncle Bob' and who you might know as Abe Lincoln from "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". 

Yes, that's right...he is/was my uncle. 

That's right, that's my uncle. That's right, it's awesome.

Curious, we parked the car and walked in. To our immediate wonder, this place sold all kinds of amazing popcorn and party related food items. Bags and bags of multi-colored kernels, shakers of various flavorings and old timey popcorn poppers for sale or rent. It was a small space but it was packed with delicious bits of popped wonder. 

Just a sample of what Uncle Bob's sells

Luckily we got a chance to chat with the lady behind the counter and we asked if they knew about the jalapeno popcorn at that bar. 

"Oh yes," she exclaimed. "We supply them with that popcorn. Have been for years."

Ah HA! They've been caught, the lil sneaks. We immediately stopped going to that bar and immediately started buying from Uncle Bob's. We've been much happier ever since. 

Yes please

Years passed and we've been loyal customers, even using their popcorn for events at She-Ra's bar and restaurant. Now that the Tucson Homeskillet is off and running, I had the opportunity to hang out with the fine folks at Uncle Bob's Popcorn to see what makes them, well...pop. 

 "Uncle Bob's has been around since 1963," informs Valarie, one of the owners that has taken over the business since it's inception in the 60s. "He had a little kiosk on Wetmore that grew in popularity. The original owner sold the business in 1986, when it was on Grant and Country Club. The current location, this one, was built in 1988 and we've been here ever since."

Old school funkiness abounds

This elusive Uncle Bob actually hosted children's TV shows here in Tucson from 1961-67. Calling himself "Marshall KGUN" (named after the TV station) he taught kids to respect their parents, how to avoid the dangers on the streets and that vegetables were good to eat. In 1967 he moved to a different station and hosted "The Uncle Bob Show" till 1975. 

"Oh lots of famous people were on the Marshall KGUN show," Valarie muses. "There were cast members of the Addams Family that stopped by, some of the Three Stooges too. Back then, Tucson had a thriving studio and many of the celebrities that came here to make movies would stop by his show."

I then informed her of my own Uncle Bob and his foray into show business. Not too sure what it is about "Uncle Bobs" that want to entertain or make kids happy. But...there they are. 

Cheddarheads? Naw...Cornheads

The best thing about Uncle Bob's Popcorn is the fact that they pop fresh every day. Pounds upon pounds of hot popping popcorn make their way from industrial sized machines, onto conveyor belts and straight into the bags are a regular circulation. The air in the large hangar sized work area behind the retail shop is thick with buttery oil and freshly popped corn, something that I could get used to very quickly. 

"As you can guess the equipment has changed a bit since the 1960s," Valarie informs with a head nod. "Okay, it's changed a lot!"

Supply and demand, big machines for big orders

The tiny popping machines of yore have given way to factory sized poppers, large rotating turbine silos that separate the un-popped seeds from the perfectly fluffy kernels and something called the Rocket. 

"This is for all the sweet corn, the caramel and kettle and such," she says. "Can't get the sweet mixed in with the savory!"

The Rocket in flight

I was lucky enough to get my hand right in a tumbling field of piping hot aromatic goodness and let me tell you, that stuff you get at the movies or microwave at home? Uh uh. Not even close. This stuff is heavenly and the raw flavor is enough to make your tastebuds quiver. This is before they add their signature seasonings to it and then, then!, it blasts you off into another popping dimension. 

Come to Metal Mark

"But that's a secret I can't reveal," Valarie notes with a wink. "Can't give all of our secrets away."

Sure they list their ingredients but there is still something to this stuff

Outside of their retail store on Columbus you can find their goods all across town. Yes, even various pubs that like to claim it as their own. But that popcorn you just had at a recent Wildcats game? Oh yeah, that's these guys. You were just crunching down on some Uncle Bob's realness.

"Our school rocks!", enthuses Valarie. "We love the Wildcats and we are proud to have our popcorn there. At the games, in the stands...we love it."

I concur!

The best part is, Uncle Bob's really hasn't changed much, nor will it ever, if the current owners have their way, and that's what keeps people coming back. Little did I know when we walked through the tinkling doors almost a decade ago that we were walking into some Tucson history. Folks of all kinds, generations, have stepped through the same door and will for years to come. 

But in 1978, that tradition almost didn't continue. 

A fire broke out causing thousands of dollars in damage and things didn't look good for the local business. It took years to rebuild but the community came together and because of that we now have years more to look forward to enjoying some of the best popcorn around. Or anywhere really. 

No...thank you

Now it's your turn to make a tradition by eating real popcorn made by real good people. You'll thank me for it later. 

Trust me here. 

Party on dudes!

Valarie and the amazing popping machine

Camera and Typing
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Almost Thanksgiving 2015


Metal Influence

Cryptic Slaughter

"Stream of Consciousness"