And Now For A Very "Special" Tucson Homeskillet

I woke up one morning particularly hazy. 

The night before I imbibed in a new found obsession, mesquite smoked whiskey. Dear lord it is so good. Imagine drinking bacon wrapped in a campfire, one that hits all senses making for a heady discourse of whimsy once the coal rapture gullet burn subsides a bit. 

On top of that, I was also drinking my usual, a vodka soda, a cocktail the wife and I began to embrace when we realized that we enjoyed booze but hated the weight it keeps on our aging bodies. "What do skinny people drink?" Clear alcohol and sugar free mixers. Done. 

I was about two cocktails in when I ordered a sipper glass of the whiskey. To say the least I was feeling very good. Luckily I had the next day off so sleeping in was an option. It always was. Even with my day job, showing up bleary does not prevent me from getting work done. It's a a pretty easy job. It's county work. Being slightly hungover actually makes for a more enjoyable work day. That sounded a bit sad didn't it?

Anyway, as we were getting ready to leave some friends showed up at the bar. We decided to stay a little bit longer. Actually we stayed longer than usual. Us old married folk are normally in our jammers by 9pm, deep into some movie or show we are currently obsessed with and either cooking or eating dinner. One more drink, one more shot. I was at that stage where I was nervous to drive home. Fortunately it is a quick straight shot from our hangout and on very familiar territory so I knew how to juggle the current stage of wobble. 

When we finally got home we had a few more drinks. A show we really love (okay, it's goddam 'Game of Thrones', jeesh) was premiering that night and we were in full celebratory mode. The wife didn't have to get up till 10am so if we were asleep by 2am that's a full 8 hours. Thing is she likes to sleep a minimum of 10 hours so when midnight rolled around and we were well over our limit she went straight to bed. 

Me? I was amped up. After taking a shower, with a drink to boot, I got out, fit in some earbuds and started listening to some music. This went on for another hour or so. Another drink. I was okay, pretty drunk, but cognizant. Time to put on a familiar movie. I opted for "Meatballs", this late '70s summer camp comedy starring a very young Bill Murray. Another drink. I was halfway through the movie and still going. Another drink. I was wasted. I finally finished the movie around 3am, slammed a big glass of water and passed out. 

The alarm went off at 10am, apparently, but I was so fuzzy and still drunk that I thought it was all part of some strained dream my liquored brain was attempting. The wife kissed me goodbye, which shook me awake, said I smelled like booze and wished me a fine day of sleeping it off. Then darkness. I awoke again way past noon and remembered that I had an appointment for an upcoming article I had scheduled for the publication I write for. I was so knackered and nauseous that I emailed my contact with some bullshit excuse saying my camera was on the fritz and we'd have to reschedule. The response was part annoyance, part understanding and I told them I'd visit in a few days. 

Eventually I got up, drank some water - a lot of water - choked down some leftover Indian food and decided to go out to the garden and check in on some herbs that were starting to sprout. The late spring sun was out in full force and the current condition my 46 year old body was going through made it feel as if I was in a surreal sweat lodge and I realized that I wasn't feeling too great. Not at all. 

Deciding to power through it, telling myself over and over that "Well, you did this to yourself", I carried on with my amateur gardening duties. As I leaned down to remove some leaves from a bed of up and coming arugula I began to throw up. The Indian food was one factor in taste and texture of the bile but I also got hints of smoked whiskey as well. The yellowish brown belly spew splashed down on a dirt space between the arugula and a succulent plant my wife plucked from a recent visit to San Diego. It just kept coming out. Towards the end I began to retch, enough where I hoped that a neighbor could not hear me. Or perhaps the opposite: If they heard my strained anguish of booze purge perhaps they would come over and help me and by help I mean hit me with a shovel and take me out for good. Once it was all out I started to feel 'better' but I also felt worse than I have in a long time. 

I lay there on the couch, head spinning and body shaking. I then realized that this isn't even that uncommon of a day for me. I did not want to label myself as an alcoholic. But that is what I have somehow spun into. Which began to scare me. 

It was right then and there that I knew something had to be done. 

The chug king in full action

Growing up in the 70s and 80s when a popular TV show, especially comedies, advertised that next week's episode is going to be a 'very special' one, it usually meant that the subject was going to be heavy - like one of the main characters smokes weed or is touched inappropriately by a bicycle shop owner or the kid next door is abused...stuff like that. The Homeskillet is notoriously not heavy, except for the Metal, which is why I decided to call this post 'special'.

Because its a little heavy.

Me admitting to an alcohol dependency, or at least regular habit, is not easy for me. But it has to be said. I need to type this out and get it out there, even if it only hits a few readers...I don't care. This is for me and helping me halt my drinking to at least a manageable level. I don't want to quit, not right now, because my food writing job keeps me tasting beer, wine and spirits on a fairly regular basis. Heck, I just got tagged to judge an upcoming margarita competition. But I do want it to get down to a very dull roar.

If you know me and the history of this blog, I restarted and refurbished the Homeskillet after a very sad and very trying year to help me cope. In 2014 my step dad (my dad's husband) died from complications of Alzheimer's, then a month later my real dad died, literally from a broken heart, soon after She-Ra's grandmother passed a month or so before we had to put our dog down which was almost immediately followed by our cat getting eaten by coyotes.

Yeah.

2014 sucked.

* * *

The first time I got drunk I was almost 22. I started pretty late, comparatively, because of my self professed 'straight edge' lifestyle I embraced in my teens. Doing drugs, getting wasted and smoking cigarettes just seemed dumb to me. A lot of straight edge kids even abstain from sex but...screw that. All I ever wanted to do was hook up with girls and when I lost my virginity at 16 my straight edge-ness only referred to chemical use.

It was a girl, funny enough, that drove me to try booze for the first time and a close friend that had been dabbling in weekly drunk fests with other small town derelicts. When she broke up with me, seemingly out of the blue, I was seriously bummed. My friend suggested getting a bunch of beer and cheap champagne to try to cheer me up and get her off my mind. It sort of worked. As the night progressed other people joined in and before long it turned into a party. A few hours into it most of the visitors either passed out or just left. Not me. I was wide awake. I stayed up all night finishing the beer and champagne listening to hardcore records and punk EPs. I felt great and was having way too much fun. The sun came up and I drove home but not before grabbing some breakfast. I was wasted but I was young and could handle it.

A little more than 20 years later and my body can not handle that kind of abuse.


In 2014 my casual drinking increased ten fold. I couldn't deal with the sadness; it seemed that every other month a family member was dying. I was barely at work that year and when I was I was distant, not including being totally hungover. My booze fog could always be blamed on the fact that someone else had just passed but in 2015 I had had enough and needed a new outlet.

I contacted a popular food website asking if they needed a writer. They said sure. I turned in 3 articles before realizing our styles just didn't match up and we parted amicably. That same week I turned the old funky Homeskillet blog into the website you see today...which is still a blog but, man, the old style was pretty hokey and amateurish. My goal was to post a full article each week; minimum of 1,000 words and at least 10 pictures. This helped me a lot. And when I got hired in 2016 by a big weekly newspaper my food blogging career really took off.

But the drinking? It remained.

I would try things such as 'one drink per hour' or 'no shots on a school night' but that would fall to crap if I had to cover some culinary event or be at a restaurant opening. And if you're drunk one night and feel like poo the next day well, heck, the only way to feel better is to have some more drinks! Sure I felt like garbage most days, my gut had become this bulbous extremity and I was getting absolutely no personal work done but, hey!, that's just how it goes right?

How many mornings did I say to myself in the bathroom "Someday I'll feel good"? Too many. So when the day came and losing donuts in your garden on a beautiful spring afternoon I knew that I had reached my limit.

So to speak.

Just can't get enough, so good when it hits your lips

So far the cutting back in the drinking has proved totally awesome.

We drink enough, like 2-3 cocktails (if that), to relax and get a buzz but then if we start to feel a bit woozy we stop, take a big drink of water and read until we fall sleep. Sounds boring but when you reach a certain age and you've been doing it for a while, and quite furiously, it's nice to just be an old dullard.

Because of my full time day job, part time food writing and having a wife and life I realized that I haven't actually finished a book in over a year. That's dumb for a guy that prides himself on being a bit of a bookworm and, well, a writer, but my new found 'sobriety' has cured that.

My sleep state dreams have gotten back to being full on epic again now that I am not passing out at night. Which I love. If there is anything that I am really addicted to it'd be dreaming. Some mornings I would find myself sleeping way past my normal 8 hours because the more I sleep the crazier my dreams become. And speaking of sleeping, when I wake up now I am not nauseous or murky and when I go check on the garden I do not have the inclination to vomit in it. Which is always a plus.

And this is a big one for me: my morning appetite is back! I haven't made myself a proper breakfast before work in, like...forever. We're talking eggs, toast, maybe a heaping bowl of good oatmeal, a bagel with veggies and cream cheese. It has been a red hot minute since that has happened. And I like breakfast. Nope, scratch that: I fxxking love breakfast!

I find myself to be in a better mood throughout the day and, you know, I always prided myself on being a fairly pleasant person. I'm more focused on my writing and articles and projects get done with clarity and aplomb. Which is great. Plus another positive factor is that I am a cheaper date these days. It doesn't take a flagon of hooch to get me where I need to be. Just a couple here and there and, boom, I'm done. It's honestly not that hard. I just have to keep reminding myself on the days I would wake up and wish that I were dead because I was still drunk or the hangover was seriously settling in. It's just not fun anymore.

All of my friends that I used to get tanked with are all grown up, moved on, married with kids. I'm pretty sure they have quelled the alcohol beast because they have more important things to tend to. Like raising a frikkin' human. The only difference between us and them is that the wife and I do not want kids...and that is probably a factor for our debauchery; its just us. Just us and a cat. The cat doesn't care if we get faced as long as her bowl is full and her litter box is clean. After that she's just "Whatever humans...do whatever you want. Idiots."

On top of feeling generally better my stomach feels decidedly less bloated. Sure its still there and firmly middle aged firm but I can at least suck in the gut when I need to and sort of see my rib cage.

Sort of.

Now that the weather is getting less surface of the sun hot I plan on using my trainers to go on nightly walk/runs and even found an online workout program for guys my age and condition. I'm starting to feel good again. All I had to do was just tone it down a bit, show some restraint and grow up just a little more.

It's been too long and I just want to get back to the fairly sane and sober person that I have always been. Sane meaning not blitzed out of his head most nights - it takes a certain self obsessed maniac to want to type furiously about your life and how you feel about food - so I got that going for me. I just like feeling like the old Mark again and this is something I can really get used to.

Although I do crave that mesquite smoked whiskey now and then. But I'll have to save that for a special occasion. And definitely not on a school night. For sure.

Thanks for reading...

This happy kid, many years before taking his first drink

Telling it like it is
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
First Week of Autumn, 2017

Metal Influence:

MUNICIPAL WASTE

"Drunk as Shit"

I (heart) GUT

When I got jumped into the GUT collective I really had no idea what was in store for me.

First off, it made me feel real cool. After running the Homeskillet for a few years and doing it slightly under the radar and for my own good benefit, it was fun to get some love and recognition once I started contributing to the Weekly as their food writer.

And it's fun to feel cool.

Second I just thought it'd introduce me to some new and interesting people, which it has, or get me on a list for a food event here and there, which it also has, but rubbing elbows with southern Arizona's culinary elite and getting invites for near impossible to get into pop-ups has been quite the shake up with my middle aged, geeky ego. It is both humbling and really awesome.

Being part of GUT has definitely made me feel cool.

One of the best things that GUT (Gastronomic Union of Tucson) does is put on a multi coursed dinner that is created and supervised by what some have called the 'Justice League of Tucson chefs'. This is open to the public, that is if they want to shell out a good $80 to be a part of the culinary experience. Which they totally should.

It all takes place at the Carriage House downtown and the first one was held on Sunday June 25th. I can't tell you how excited I was when I got my invite.

And I can't tell you how bummed I was when I had to back out.

The mid-summer stomach bug caught up with me and I kept having to text Carriage House executive chef and GUT dinner organizer Devon Sanner with the bad news. He, along with a few other chefs that were involved that night, kept asking me to "fight it", "pull through" and "just get over it already"...but the struggle was too real and I stayed home going back and forth from the couch to the toilet.

The next one was on Sunday July 30th and this one I definitely attended. I told Devon and various others that I would be there "even if things were coming out both ends". Luckily for me I was fine and dandy and was stoked to be fed by such amazing talent as CJ Hamm of Saguaro Corners, Janet Jones on loan from Hacienda del Lago, Jason, Buddy and Matt from Ermanos and, of course, Ben Forbes, Tucson's premiere butcher and owner of Forbes Meat Company.

The food was on point and inventive, taking us all on a tour through Japan, India, China and, yes, Tucson. I had such a blast and it made me look forward to the next and last GUT dinner that was to take place Sunday August 27th.

Luckily this time I took a bunch of photos for the "GUT #3: El Tour de Tastebuds", a rollicking journey through the many levels that our tongue and senses can handle on just one plate.

Here is what went down:

Like eating and drinking electric pop rocks

The Carriage House is located in a sort of alleyway, S. Arizona Ave, between Broadway and E. 12th. It started as the brainchild of both Devon Sanner and James beard award winning chef Janos Wilder as a place to hold demonstrations, cooking classes, weddings and events, such as the GUT dinners. It's a really cool space, wide open with a pass kitchen, theater lights and a sound system. I heard they do dim sum there on occasion. Haven't been invited to that yet. Guess that's a next level GUT entry...

Since this was the last GUT dinner of 2017 the place was packed. My wife and I were given a seating assignment then handed a cocktail. It was a bright yellow lemongrass citrus mezcal creation and they paired it with some kind of puffy stem flower called a 'buzz button'. The fuzzy bud created a numbing and tingling sensation, which was quite the surprise. Paired with the boozy drink, the overall experience was both alluring and almost off putting...but in a fun way.

As we chatted with folk, servers brought around a selection of hors d' oeuvres which included a pork crepinette (which basically means it was flattened), finished with a Szechuan spicy pickled peanut sauce. My favorite was the dry rubbed, pecan smoked ribs with micro greens. This was really good on so many levels. My wife loved the crostini with a pork offal schmear, black garlic oil and crispy kale. I liked that one too. I just preferred the ribs.

But that's just me.

Before long everyone began taking their seats because the dinner was about to start.

Course 1: Bitter

Devon Sanner took center stage, thanked everybody for coming and introduced us to the chefs that created each dish. Tonight they would include Izaak Morhaim of Jackson Bar + Eatery, David Solorzano of Cielos at Lodge on the Desert, Sam Krajnak from Pasco, Mat Cable of Fresco Pizza, Nohemi Montoya from Lowes Ventana Resort and Travis Peters (who recently took the title of Tucson Iron Chef) of The Parish among a slew of other very talented chefs. Like I said, the Justice League of Tucson culinary heavy hitters.

First up was the "Bitter" course which boasted a petite pork osso bucco, charred dandelion greens, a pomegranate gastrique (a sweet and sour sauce deglazed in vinegar), grapefruit espuma (foam) and tripas (tripe) cracklings.

This was interesting. Bitter came in many formats here; the dandelion greens, the grapefruit foam and the pomegranate gastrique.  The pork osso bucco was tender and a lot of fun to eat. It was small, just a bite or two and if this was a proper "meal" sized dish it would kill in any restaurant as a main dish.

We were off and running, taste buds glowing from bits of pungent buds, strong drink, pork nasty bits and tart crispiness.

This is going to be fun.

Course 2: Sour

Course #2 would be the "Sour" element.

Here we were treated to a sous-vide of pork neck (which apparently does not exist but butcher Ben Forbes said he had to push meat up from the shoulders to get a fatty effect on the neck), a tart apple demiglace (or 'half glaze', a sauce that is basically used for other sauces), sour grape and tomatillo escabeche (a Mediterranean dish, usually fish, that is cooked in an acidic mixture), mustard green chips, carrots, turnips and a blackberry croquant ('crisp').

This was the standout for me. All of it came together with each bite to create that perfect mouth feel and flavor and the "sour" invitation lived up to its name. It was playful, jovial and above all really yummy. Cheers to all that came together on this one.

Okay. Lets keep this hit machine on track.

Course 3: Umami

Umami is usually described as a category of flavor beyond the bitter, sweet, sour and salty that our taste buds can handle. Some say brothy or meaty. Quite the challenge for this course.

For this one, chefs offered up hog trotter and barbecue devilfish (usually a manta ray, here it was smoked octopus), chicken fried headcheese, mudbug (crawfish/crayfish depending on where you are from) dashi (Japanese cooking stock) grits, smoked roe, chicory, enoki (long thin white Asian mushroom) and some mayo.

Wow.

Complex only begins to describe what was happening here. The devilfish was rousing as I was not really used to that kind of texture or flavor, one that reminded me of a loose pate of sorts brimming with porky elements and a distinct barbecue finish. The chicken fried headcheese just made me smile as I know that was the product of chef Travis from The Parish who is no stranger to twisting traditional southern flavors and making them his subservient. The presentation reminded me of some Medieval map in which after crossing the dark sea of the devilfish you must solve the puzzle of the mysterious enoki before conquering the tower of chicken fried headcheese topped with smoked roe.

Probably because at this point the food high was beginning to seriously rear its delicious head.

Just one more course to contend with.

Dessert Course: Sweet (duh)

Sweet relief came in the form of a triage of dessert:

1) A chocolate ganache (a glaze or filling made from rich chocolate and cream) cake with cardamom cream
2) Prickly pear limoncello granita (basically an Italian icee)
3) Donut with pork floss cotton candy, bacon and ancho caramel

This was the perfect way to end an extraordinary meal.

The chocolate cake was really rich but not too sweet. If you are going to live in Tucson be prepared to love prickly pear...everything. That granita melted in your mouth and cooled the pork heavy supper down a notch. They explained why the pork floss was bright green but all I could hear was "Mmmm" echoing through my ears and brain. I'm sure there was a reason behind it.

To the chef that created it...get back to me. It looks like the mossy glen to which the headcheese tower casts shadows over, next to the perilous devilfish sea, a donut-y respite from solving the riddle of the enoki.

Is that what it is?

I hope so.

All the chefs making all the food

As we sipped on a really hearty yet subtly sweet port wine, Devon and the rest of the chefs thanked everybody involved and gave a big hand to us, the ones that attended and were privy to such an honor to be fed by the hands of Tucson's culinary Avengers.

We left, not only full, but a bit sad that this was the last in the first series of GUT dinners...at least for the summer. Since it was so busy with people, the two of us exited into the warm evening outside without saying personal 'thank yous' and 'goodbyes'.

So let this here blog post say it for me/us:

Thank you chefs for not only creating GUT but for cooking memorable meals and allowing a dork like me to be part of your fold.

All I can say about that is:

Cool!

Thank you GUT!

Camera, Typing & Eating
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Last Sunday in August, 2017

Metal Influence:

CARCASS

"Heartwork"

Here Come The Judge!

I gotta tell ya: It all started with this funky lil blog.

When I decided to go rogue and start the Tucson Homeskillet my goal was to have at least one post a week, minimum. This wasn't that big of an effort seeing as Tucson has so many fun places to go to and feature. Days off I would hunt down hidden gems and questionable eateries then take a bunch of pictures and upload it. Sometimes I'd get a fairly decent amount of hits, while other times I would barely get some in the low double digits. But I always got a nice comment from my mom.

Thanks mom.

Without a budget and being just an off the cuff endeavor, the Tucson Homeskillet has been my culinary diary friend for almost three years now.

Let's just say it's how I got my start in the food writing game.

And because of this blog it landed me the honor of being the Chow writer for the Tucson Weekly. Which is amazing. But because of that, and having a wife, cat and full time job, the Homeskillet has kind of taken a backseat. Which sort of sucks.

Thing is, being the food writer for the Weekly has opened up a whole new culinary world for me. Instead of never getting responses from restaurants and chefs, now that's all I do. I am literally so swamped with assignments that my days off are not days off anymore. I don't like that the Homeskillet has suffered as it has since I have been with the Weekly but the exposure and experience I am now getting is irreplaceable.

Plus I get to do cool things like judge culinary challenges.

My first one was back in July and here is what happened...

Big turnout for the free event

Like I said, this blog has taken an unfortunate backseat to my obligations to the Weekly, so that's why its taken so long to get this blog post up and running. On the other hand, I am so loving being the food writer for the Weekly that I hope this ride never ends. Unless I get picked up by Food & Wine or get my own Eat TV show. That'd be awesome.

But when the opportunity arose to be one of the judges at the Main Gate Square Culinary Challenge all I could do was prepare my already bulbous belly and say a resounding "Yes!"

It was to be a free event, open to the public, and featuring all of the restaurants in the Main Gate Square / University Avenue area, like close to 20 or so, with samples for everyone that steps foot in the main hall at the University Hotel.

But out of all of the vendors slated to be there only seven stepped up to the challenge of winning the title of  'Best Of' that night. That's where I came in. Along with Adam Lehrman from Tucson Foodie and Matt Russell of On The Menu Live!, we were the three to seal the fate of who would take home the culinary crown that evening.

I totally forgot who this was from, but...it was good

The main hall was packed. What did you expect for a free event that is dishing out free food and drinks? I found Matt Russell and he escorted me through the throng of folk downing tiny plates of mac n cheese, cookies, pizza and mini cups of coffee to a long table up front. Luckily that day, taking cues from competitive eaters, I ate like a bird all day. Just micro snacks here and there to get my belly ready and teased for the amount of food that I was about to take in.

I sat next to Adam Lehrman, who has done culinary judging many many more times than I have. I told him that this was my first so he leaned in and had these wise words to say:

"Just be sure to pace yourself."

Thing is I was starving so when the first dish was placed in front of me I dove in.

We had these score cards with each plate and we had to rate each dish according to taste, presentation and originality. It was such a blur of introductions, people, rules and so forth that I totally forgot who was up to bat first. Maybe Red's Smokehouse? Gentle Ben's? It was tasty; a kind of deconstructed shrimp gumbo of sorts and I gave them an 11 (out of a possible 15) and I downed about half. That would prove to be a big mistake. In hindsight I should have had maybe a bite or two then moved on. I was so hungry and excited that I got carried away.

Plus the free cocktail I had before the judging didn't help either.

I mean...it helped, but when I have booze in my system all bets are off.

I am an eating machine.

Steak and potatoes from Fuku Sushi

Next was a surprising entry from Fuku Sushi: A steak and potatoes dish.

The potatoes were hearty and buttery which were topped with thick cut asparagus that were grilled to a near perfection. Thing is, the steak was, for me anyway, cooked a bit too much. It was grey in the middle, not pink, but I blame that on the rest time it took to get it from the grill to my plate. I told the chef about it but did not lay blame on him. The young kid looked a little deflated but, hey man....this is the slam bang, laugh in the face of death realm of cutthroat culinary competition on a random Saturday in Tucson.

You'll do fine kid. No worries.

I think this got a 10 or 9 from me. Not sure.

Some poke inspiration from Jimmy's Pita and Poke

So poke is great and all but at this stage of my food writing I need a break from it. That and sushi-ritos. So when a poke dish arrived from Jimmy's Pita and Poke I kind of rolled my eyes.

Mind you, it was pretty tasty, if not a bit warm for my taste in poke, but the flavor was there.

Luckily I made my judging quick here and within a few bites I was able to move on.

Octopus from Pasco and a warm sippin' seafood jus

Pasco Kitchen & Lounge offered up a bit of grilled octopus over a large croquette and covered in fresh greens.

The croquette was nice, as were the greens, but the octopus was really tough; kind of like biting down on an old eraser. There was flavor, and the help of a tangy seafood au jus helped wash it down but, yeah...I wasn't a big fan of this dish. You need to soak and render the tentacles down like over night, if not longer, to make it nice and tender. This seemed like a last minute decision.

Sorry Pasco. I still love you though.

Delicious squid ink tagliatelle pasta from The Dutch

Now here is where things got interesting.

Chef Marcus from The Dutch made a lovely vegetable medley in a lemongrass broth paired with this incredible handmade squid ink tagliatelle pasta. Oh my gosh...this was easily my favorite dish.

Pretty sure I gave this one an almost perfect score. Thing is, everything was so good that I kept eating. And eating. Having almost nearly killed everything in the bowl I knew that I was in trouble.

I was now officially full.

But the event was far from over.

People kept packing into the already at capacity hall and another dish arrived that was so big all I could do was laugh.

A monster meat plate via Sinbad's

Sinbad's had this sword-like meat and potato skewer dangling over two lamb shanks, samosas, rice, hummus and a mint chutney. This thing was so gargantuan that the three of us let out a painful groan.

We ate some. It was good, but my stomach couldn't handle anymore incoming food. I was starting to hallucinate a bit. People were clamoring around the table asking me what I thought. I was growing hazy. The food began to not have much flavor anymore. It was sort of a curse at this point.

Kids started to crowd the table and all I could do was let them all have bites. They were thrilled. I was thrilled. As vendors began to shut down folks moved towards the judges table where there was still plenty of food on display. Not too sure what Adam and Matt did but I let them eat cake.

Was there cake?

Probably.

The evenings winner and the worst photo ever uploaded on the Homeskillet

At the end of the night, a scrummy sausage slider courtesy of Mutts Hot Dogs won. To my surprise The Dutch didn't even place. I guess Matt and Adam really liked the slider and house cut chips, and I liked it too, but I was a little shocked to see that it took the prize.

The photo is really blurry because at the point when it was taken, towards the middle of the tasting and judging, things were moving really fast. All photos were taken with my phone (I was not going to risk my real camera to get squashed or stolen in this kind of fray) so I apologize for the lackluster images.

When the judging was mercifully over, I went on stage to congratulate Mutts and to thank everyone for attending. It was nice to stand up and move. My already prominent belly was distended and poked out from under my Ben Davis pullover.

I went home that night, took a mighty dump, had a digestive drink and apologized to my wife for all of the weird noises my body was making. I slept soundly, if not a bit uncomfortably, with Adam's suggestion "Pace yourself" echoing through my dreamspace, slightly mocking.

The next day I did not eat till noon and when I did it was a piece of fruit.

Thing is, it was totally worth it and I look forward to being a judge again for a cookoff in the near future.

Thank you Main Gate Square for letting me be a part of the recent culinary challenge. Now that I popped my so-called food judge cherry, I now know how to approach the next one.

By pacing myself.

Cheers!

Adam and Matt post judging. Me? I was too full to move...

Camera, Typing and Eating
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Monsoon Season, 2017

Metal Influence:

SEPULTURA

"Arise"

Five Stars In The Food Court

When you're checking reviews online and you come across a place you had no idea even existed and there is nothing but 4-5 star ratings down the line, it kind of peaks your interest right?

I know it does with us.

In fact, we are the ones that are totally enthralled with a restaurant that boasts loads of 5 stars, a few 4s, couple of 3s here and there then a bunch of 1s. You're like, 'wait, is this place...good, or is it a bucket of urinal cakes soaked in farts?' It is then up to us to go there, get a bunch of food, eat it and judge for ourselves. In fact, that's the whole idea behind online review sites; everybody has an opinion, everybody has a different experience and everyone takes something away from that place in their own way. That's why I'm not big on reviews in newspapers and magazines. One dude/dudette with the power of a publication behind him/her can walk into a place, not have a good time then write about it which reaches thousands, if not more, people and then sullies the name of a joint that is a favorite to a whole other lot. Maybe the cook was having a bad day, perhaps they accidentally dropped sugar in when it was meant to be salt. It happens.

We have heeded the call of the online opinions and have come away equally stoked and disgusted. But a place in the Tucson Mall has garnered almost nothing but 5 stars and for that reason alone we set aside our contempt for all things shopping arenas and had to check it out.

A lot of food for not a lot of money

Here's the thing: When we got to the food court almost every other stand had a line...except Kebab King, the reason for our visit. Checking again on the online reviews, we just had to be sure that this was the spot.

Yep. It was.

When I talked to the smiling gentleman at the front counter he informed me that the owners of Kebab King are also the ones that run Babylon Market on Speedway.

Oh. I see. It's all starting to coming together now.

With that in mind we decidedly ordered up a good amount of stuff to sample so here is what we thought.

Small shawerma, big flavor

We liked the fact that you can choose a size shawerma that you want; small, regular or jumbo. Seeing as we got a decent allotment of what they offer, and that we hadn't had their food yet, we went for a small shawerma.

Even for it being 'small' it was pretty hefty. It was about street cart burrito sized and it made us wounder what the 'jumbo' option looks like. Next time.

The flavor and textures were there. It was a pretty classic shawerma, nice and mellow with spice while nestled with fresh tomatoes and lettuce. I was totally happy with this.

The tzatziki was good too; cool and creamy with a distinct cucumber and lemony bite. So far we could see how this colorful stand in a busy food court could hold down a 4-5 star rating.

But why weren't there more patrons? It was high lunchtime and folks were queued up for sloppy fast food and greasy "Asian" fare.

Huh.

Get those olives offa my salad!

Our salads were really good as well. All of the components, lettuce, red onion, crispy pita bits, cucumber, feta cheese, was bright and flavorful. The only thing that threw us off was the dressing.

It was really olive-y.

And that is something we can't get behind: Olives. Blecch.

I personally can't stand them and if you have been keeping up with this blog you know this. Unfortunately on almost everything we ordered there were olives. Just be warned: For those that despise the lil briny dingleberries of Satan just say "No!" when you come to visit Kebab King. We didn't know.

Now we know.

The dressing was just a little too overpowering for us and that is the only complaint you will hear.

Otherwise, yep...good stuff.

The hummus was amazing...except for that olive!

Outside of the salad being a bit disappointing, the hummus made up for any shortcomings because of our disdain for olives. Yes, there was an olive perched proud right in the middle but it was easily removed and flung towards Forever 21.

Maybe a little heavy-handed with the olive oil (we like olive oil just not olives...go figure) but otherwise it was perfect. Silky, great use on simple spices, tahini and a good amount of garlic. This made me want to drive over to Babylon and purchase a bin of this stuff. A bin!

The pita was a great accomplice. Warm, fluffy on the inside with a tight grill on the exterior. We couldn't get enough.

As mopey shoppers shuffled by pushing strollers under florescent mall lights, we danced and delighted with our lunchtime win. Our smiles probably threw some of them off but we didn't care.

We were digging into the food at Kebab King and were really digging what they were doing.

Finally we dove into some signature plate dishes. We opted for a chicken shish tikka and a gyro platter. Once again, we got the 'regular' size and were stunned how generous they were.

The basmati saffron rice was awesome, very flavorful and toothsome. It went really well with the hearty cuts of meat that were just brimming with flavor. Luckily our plates came with more hummus. Yay! With a side of fresh vegetables that had just a slight dribble of herby oil and vinegar we were stoked to get acquainted with the Kebab King.

It's a good amount of food for not a lot of bread. We left full and elated and maybe spent around $30 for all of it. We will definitely be back and for me I go to the mall every now and then to get some new Vans so when I do I'm gonna sample more wares from the King.

All hail!

Now we can see why this place has such good ratings. But they need more customers.

It's up to you Tucson.

See you there...

Everything was so good but the olive? Yeah...no.

Eating, Typing and Camera
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
I'm in a mall!, Early Summer 2017

Metal Influence:

CARNIVORE

"Retaliation"

If This Place Was Just Called "Dave" It'd be Weird

First let me preface that all of the photos I took were done by my phone. Not even my new fancy phone, my old one that had a crack in the lens. In a place like Dave and Busters I really didn't feel safe bringing my camera camera so apologies for the slightly fuzzy and kinda crappy shots.

Plus lugging a high-end digital camera around while trying to balance a beer and steer on some Fast and Furious machine would totally suck. So there's that as well.

Anyway, Tucson finally got itself one of these mega-clusters of food, booze and games and its about time we say. Located in the Tucson Marketplace area just off of South Park Avenue and East Benson Highway, nestled between a movie theater and a god awful Asian buffet (that surprisingly serve decent quesadillas, go figure) Dave and Busters is the kind of family Petri dish of overly excited kids, bored teens, half drunk dads and cell-phone staring moms that you always dreamed about.

I think we've been to one, maybe, back in either California or Texas and, if blurry memory serves, it was kind of fun. So on a searingly hot day with convection oven winds, the Homeskillet crew rallied up and set out to eat, drink and get high score.

This is what went down.

Full on Vegas mode with this place

The way Dave and Busters works is this: If you wanna play games, which you totally do, you purchase a Power Card, which is a card that you 'power up' with cash and can 'recharge' once your credits get low. Like $30 gets you 200 credits, or something like that. Each game requires a certain amount of credits. For example, Skee-Ball is perhaps 2 credits but some surround sound IMAX 3-D type game will be, say, 12. You get the idea right? Most places like this have the exact same method to take your money. But...whatever.

We went on a Wednesday, which we highly recommend, because on Wednesdays all games are discounted. That 12 credit IMAX 3-D game is now 6 credits. Get it? Good. So we loaded up our Power Cards then went to the bar to get slightly loaded.

So sweet, so unnecessary 

Note to all readers: Avoid any and all glow in the dark / snocone / anything that has gummy worms hanging from them drinks. They are pricey, they suck and most of all they are sugary frosted glops with a hint of booze. Just stick to your usual cocktail or beer. Trust here. In fact, the pours we got from the young bartender were actually kind of impressive. So stick with what you know.

As we were sipping away, we couldn't help but notice that the whole stretch of the room, equipped with a restaurant, sports bar, separate eating area and huge game space, looked and sounded a lot like a Las Vegas casino. With the exception of cigarette smoke (you can't even vape in D&B's, thank jeebus) we could have been at some bar in the Venetian, except the one armed bandits were replaced with Big Buck Hunters and Pac Man games with screens 10 feet high.

While we were surveying our afternoon territory, we were beginning to get a bit grumbly in yon tummy so a glance at their menu was in order.

Um...okay!

The fare at Dave and Busters is kind of what you would expect. Pages of hot wings, "shareable" appetizers loaded with sliders and cheesy bacon covered fries, nachos, burgers, meat stuffed sandwiches and deep fried cheese.

Eh.

What was kind of surprising was their selection of salads such as an apple pecan option, a baby kale Caesar and Thai chicken chopped. These actually didn't sound too horrible.

There's also a wide selection of pasta dishes, steaks, ribs, seafood and even a tomato feta soup. Not bad D&B, not bad.

Here's the thing: They put calorie counts on each dish so you know what you are getting into before ordering. No sodium count because if they did, no one would order any of this stuff. Or carbs, Or sugar or saturated fat. I'm thinking the food at D&B is loaded with unnecessary amounts of salt and sugar, enough to put any diet right into the dustbin.

It is absolutely rare here to find a dish under 1000 calories. There's a grilled salmon for about 800, most side salads and soups hover around 200...and that's about it. I mean, you're not coming to Dave and Busters for its farm-to-fork chef driven dishes, you're here to grub on some sloppy and slightly not bad food and play arcade games till your eyes bleed and your thumbs go numb. Right?

Taking a walk around the dining area, the food actually didn't look all that bad either. But between the 5 of us we opted to go for something called, yep, Fives All Around. This long plate came loaded with 5 pieces of chicken quesadilla, 5 pretzel dogs, 5 crispy shrimps, a bunch of dipping sauces and house cut crinkle chips. This monster app was over 3000 calories but, hey, between the 5 of us, for each, that's like, uh...let's see. Carry the 3 into...umm...

Oh forget it.

Anyway, the food wasn't horrible. So...there's that.

Wait, did you wash that cube before...oh nevermind

Then it was time to get down and play some games. This is what Dave and Busters is all about anyway.

We wont get into too much about this because, you know, this is a food blog, but we will say the games were new, clean, loud and fun. Most of the racing games came equipped with wind machines to give you that extra feeling of speed and vigorously shook as well. I spent a lot of time playing the Star Wars Battle Pod. Literally you are in an enclosed game egg and you get to fly X-Wings, Snow Speeders and Speeder Bikes. So many credits went bye-bye with this game. A must do for serious Star Wars nerds.

That and Mario Kart in which you can compete with three of your friends. A good hour was spent doing this one. So freakin' fun.

Not even between the 5 of us, nope

So there you have it: The Tucson Homeskillet does Dave and Busters. We had a great time, it was really hot out so we stayed cool and we were kind of impressed with the bar style family fare they served. I mean, we really didn't eat any because, well...why would you? I mean, the food here has to be better than the neighboring buffet (will not give its name but....you'll see when you get here, just don't...) but when we come back, which we so will because we still have a bunch of credits on our Power Cards, we might go nibble a bit here and there.

But we are going to share! Just don't trust the nutritional scree of caloric blood pressure infusers they serve up.

But they do have tot-chos. And if you know us, we love us some tot-chos.

Next time Dave and Busters.

Next time...

And you know what...it wasn't horrible

Camera, Typing, Eating and Drinking
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
It's Too Hot Out, 2017

Metal Influence:

THE SWORD

"Warp Riders"

Gettin' Down With The Throwdown

Tucson Originals had this one planned for last year but unfortunately it got cancelled. Bummer.

Whatever.

This year, 2017, they brought back the Pizza Throwdown and, man, did we have a blast eating all of the foods, drinking the beers and sampling delicious desserts.

The turnout was really great, packed into Fresco Pizza up on Speedway, so it was tight maneuvering around with a camera in one hand and either food/beer in the other. It was cool to see so many people show up for the throwdown and everyone seemed to be having a really fun time.

Even though we were jammed in like anchovies.

But lets get down to the yummy business at hand here!

Here is the Tucson Homeskillet's take on what went down at this years Pizza Throwdown...

An ice cold IPA infused with tangerine went down a little too nicely

First of all it was really hot outside so thankfully the event was held inside. I felt kinda bad for Scott Volpe of Fiamme Pizza who was set up in the parking lot making his incredible Neapolitan pizzas next to a 800 degree oven. Yowtch.

Once inside, it was time to grab a much needed beer from Crooked Tooth Brewery.

They were serving up two different styles of IPA. One was called Hippie in the Headlight, which was refreshing, a good hop kiss with passion fruit and even banana notes. The other was called Quaker with Oranges, had a dryer hop taste but absolutely loved the tangerine essence that stuck with you way after you sip it.

Now that we had the required beers in our belly it was time to chow down on some pizza!

Rocco's Little Chicago Pizza

Not exactly deep dish but deep in flavor

We love Rocco's for so many reasons beyond pizza. First off, the man himself is a Tucson treasure and his wings are some of the best we have had ever. Like ever!

For the throwdown the Rocco's team brought in some thick and saucy slices for us to sample. Not exactly the full on deep dish that they are known for but...pretty close. Really rich and really tasty.

These hit the belly like 'boom!' so we were officially off and running with the pizza eat-a-thon.

Bring it on!

PY Steakhouse

Oh chef Clark, you never disappoint

It was funny to see a steakhouse, like a renown and upscale steakhouse, compete in a pizza throwdown. But then when you consider the executive chef at PY Steakhouse, Ryan Clark, the guy loves him some competition.

These slices were much more delicate and refined (duh!) and was a nice contrast to the heavyweights we ate previously.

Loved the goat cheese mixed with mozzarella and the sausage was really flavorful and juicy. Topped with some fresh microgreens, PY's entry was sure to be in the top 3 by the end of the day.

We were sure of it.

Fresco Pizza

Meaty, cheesy and oh so crusty

Okay then...back to some serious slices.

Fresco packed on three different types of protein, sausage, pepperoni and bacon, to make a meat-tastic triangle of drippy awesome.

The crust had a really good crunch and the slice itself was a feat to take down. But...we did it.

We did it with pride, honor and a stomach that was going "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing to me here?"

Shut up stomach. We know what we are doing.

We're professionals...

Upper Crust Pizza

You just cant go wrong with the basics

We were relieved to find that Upper Crust forgo their usual 'holy crap how am I going to eat that?' size slices that you can find on their lunch menu. These were manageable and were nicely basic offering a cheese option or pepperoni.

Upper Crust has always been one of our favorite pizzarias along the Campbell stretch of so many pizzarias. These slices delivered the goods and it was nice to see one of our neighborhood go-to pizza places come out and compete.

Good luck!

Fiamme Pizza Napoletana

Simply outstanding, always on point

Things are about to get serious here.

Fiamme is probably the best pizza in Tucson. At least top 3. When it went from a food truck to brick and mortar we were a bit hesitant but after eating there our skepticism went out the door because the food there is so good.

Here, they had a spicy three cheese option and the signature Margharita, which is a dance of house made mozzarella, fresh basil, homemade red sauce and finished with olive oil. Wow. Absolutely delicious.

We thought we were kind of done here but...no.

There was one more to take down.

Mama Louisa's

Yes, that is Joe's Special on a pizza...yes

And this one was a beast.

Chef Michael over at Mama Louisas decided to bring the hurt but putting the house specialty, Joe's Special, on a pizza. C'mon now. That is a lot of cheese, sauce, red pepper and pasta on its own but...on a pizza?

Yes.

As the finale of our pizza take down this one sent us off into the neither realms of carbs and cheese. It was spicy, it was fun but best of all Joe's Special totally worked as a pizza.

So cheers to you chef Mikey!

We also had to sample two different desserts. One was from Mama's Hawaiian BBQ, which was a delicious and amiable lemon tart. Really sharp without the overt sense of sweetness. The other came via Dante's Fire which was a melange of fresh summer berries, vanilla semifreddo, citrus foam and caramel wafer. Wow. All of it totally worked.

In the end Fiamme Pizza took the crown followed by Fresco and Mama Louisas. Dante's Fire took the dessert challenge which was not a shocker at all even though we really liked the delicate lemon wedge from Mama's.


Thank you Tucson Originals for putting on this Pizza Throwdown and cheers to Fresco Pizza for hosting the event. Hopefully next year there will be more competitors and, hopefully, it can be held in a larger venue. Still, we had a great time and congrats to all the winners.

 Cheers!

Good crowd, good food, good times

Camera, Typing and Eating
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
The 2nd Sunday in June, 2017

Metal Influence:

CANNIBAL CORPSE

"Gutted"