All Hail the Omar!

When I first moved to Tucson over ten years ago I weighed about 170-ish. Sure I had my signature belly, but it was not as, shall we say, "engaging" as it is today. The rolling hills of San Francisco, walking and skating them on a regular basis, kept me in fairly good shape. Now I pretty much drive everywhere and because of the amazing food here in the Old Pueblo along with the lack of exercise due to a full time job, not really being into the whole gym thing plus curating this blog, I'm easily up to 200 + change.

Thanks Tucson.

The gut has gotten a bit more, shall we say, "prominent"?

After I had my fill of Sonoran hot dogs, chimichangas and hangover food courtesy of Lucky Wishbone, I was ready for my next exclusive Tucson gastro-introduction. This came quite easy for my wife who simply said:

"Well you have to get an Omar from the Sausage Deli."

I wasn't too sure if she meant a person or a type of sausage or...what. It didn't matter. I was hungry and very prepared to get into another local favorite destination for eating awesomeness.

Behold: The Omar!

When I had my first Omar sandwich it was from the Sausage Deli's original location in the much smaller hut closer to 1st Avenue just off Grant. Now they have expanded into a bigger residence, just a few feet away from the old Sausage Deli, but this time closer to Grant Street with an expanded parking area and menu as well. They now have a beer bar! And french fries! Yeah, they got themselves a fryolator. And...

Wait, we're getting off the topic here. Sorry.

Anyway, we ordered two Omar subs, to go, found a nice shady spot in a park and then went for it.

All I have to say is: I was immediately in sandwich rapture.

It was glorious. Delicious. It had that perfect balance of savory, sweet, chewy and crunch. Equipped with salami, turkey and Swiss cheese, it's also packed with onions, bell peppers, pepperoncinis and a good dose of yellow mustard and house Italian dressing. Best thing is that the Omar is served hot so all of the items neatly jammed into a fluffy sub roll meld together in a harmonious landscape of flavors and textures. The Omar, at its core, is a very simple sandwich and that right there is what makes it so definitively marvelous.

I sometimes have dreams about the Omar. The sandwich is that tasty that it haunts my subconscious.

So let this blog post serve as an inspiration to you all: The Omar is amazing and you need to get one right now!

Trust me. It's like the best sandwich...ever.

Hands down.

So simple yet so perfect

"When I purchased the Sausage Deli back in 2003," says owner Chris Fanelli, "the rumor about the Omar was that it was created by an old employee that worked with the original owner a long, long time ago. I would say close to 1978 when the Omar was created by, yes, an employee named Omar!

"The Omar is our number two seller, just barely behind the Italian Grinder. We sell about fifty to a hundred Omar subs a day, which outsells the sandwich version to about 3-1.

"The Omar has a nickname too: 'The Breathtaking'! Appropriate right? There are a lot of old school U of A alumni that order it in a special way: they substitute the turkey for smoked turkey and replace the yellow mustard with champagne mustard, maybe that's how it was served years ago, not too sure. I have had many, many regular customers come in wanting to try something else. They usually just stand there, stare at the menu, then of course break down and eventually say, "Yeah, I just can't do it. I'll have an Omar please."

And if you have had an Omar, you know what Chris is talking about.

If you haven't had an Omar yet, then...well, you'll know what Chris is talking about when you do.

Nay a more magnificent sandwich has bestowed our fair little desert hamlet

So without further adieu, The Tucson Homeskillet now presents to you an ode to one of our favorite sandwiches in Tucson or anywhere really:

The Omar!

So glorious!

I love the Omar so much I took it out for some beers.

I had to cut the Omar off after three...it was getting a bit tipsy

Then we played a few rounds of Big Buck Hunter. Oh that Omar...he's a dead eye!

The Omar even got high score. Way to go lunchtime food item!

Afterwards we went to the fair where we rode the Tilt-A-Whirl till we got sick. Wheee!!!

"Can we go again?" asked the meat and cheese stuffed sub sandwich

I betcha didn't know that the Omar is a big Iron Maiden fan. Like...real big.

Run to the Sausage Deli! Run for the Omar!

After a fun day, it was time to relax on the veranda and soak up some lovely springtime rays.

Just chillin' with my homie...a sandwich.

Even our cat, Lil Poundcake, showed her admiration for the Omar, only having this to say:

"Sure, it's not tuna fish but, man, that is one tasty sandwich."

Thanks Lil Poundcake! We always knew you had good taste.

Can cats eat sub sandwiches? Well, we shall soon see...

Oh, the Omar, is there anything you can't do?

We love you the Omar sub! And thank you Sausage Deli for making it everyday (except Sunday)! You rule!

Sincerely,

The Tucson Homeskillet

Can we shut up about the sandwich already? It's time to eat!

The Sausage Deli is located at:

745 E. Grant St., at 1st, midtown Tucson

www.sausagedeli.com 

Eating, Typing & Camera
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
4/20, 2016

Metal Influence:

IRON MAIDEN

"Piece Of Mind"

Erin Go BLARG!

I was probably around 7 or 8 years old the first time I had one.

There was a McDonald's across the street from the arcade I hung out in back in Glendale, CA where I grew up. This is the same McDonald's that my dad would take me to after a week at summer camp eating nothing but, well, summer camp food and the taste of a Quarter Pounder was like heaven to my greasy food deprived face. It was just central, fast and cheap so, yeah, I was there a good portion of my off school hours that is when I wasn't at the arcade or busting my head open skateboarding down Verdugo Avenue trying to get to the arcade.

In the 1970s, McDonald's offered up a green milkshake to commemorate St. Patrick's Day calling it, yes...the Shamrock Shake. At the time I really didn't care about a green milkshake. I mean, who does really? The shakes at McDonald's were so thick you nearly popped a vessel in your forehead just trying to get a taste by sucking way too hard on the straw. But when the sludge did finally make its way to the top, it wasn't all that great anyway, so the effort wasn't really worth it. I much preferred the shakes at Dairy Queen or even down at Thrifty Drug Store, so adding green food coloring into the mix didn't excite me.

That is until I saw a commercial introducing Grimace's "Irish" family member:

Uncle O'Grimacey.

Uncle O'Grimacey was just like Grimace except he was green, talked in a funny accent and seemed to be mad high by wanting to paint everything like the color of the Shamrock Shake. Being a fan of all things ridiculously stupid, Uncle O'Grimacey, for that reason alone, made me want to have a Shamrock Shake.

So when March rolled around and the McDonald's started selling the shakes again, I took some time off mastering Donkey Kong Junior to run across the street and try one. And, you know what? It was gross.

It tasted as if all they did was pour minty toothpaste into their vat of regular vanilla shakes and said, "Here! Drink this! Happy St. Patrick's Day sucker!" It was chalky, had a funky aftertaste and turned into a slurping diarrhea when it melted. Luckily it came with a fresh Uncle O'Grimacey hand puppet made out of crinkly clear plastic, so that at least made up for the disappointment of the pointless frosty drink. So I vowed to never again buy and drink the vile beverage again. No way. Never!

That is until recently...

The return of the cold green beast

For some reason this blog here makes me do stupid crap, so when St. Patrick's Day was on it's way, I knew I had to do one thing:

I had to get me a Shamrock Shake!

McMinty O' Leprechaun Shart

McDonald's through all the years has gone through so many changes and have introduced and executed endless concepts and dishes (I still miss the McDLT) but the past few years, riding on the mega success of Starbucks, McDonald's has instituted a similar twist on the trade stupidly called McCafe. You know, coffee drinks, smoothies, all that late '90s coffeehouse noise. And because of dorks like me getting old and turning to childhood establishments such as fast food chains going "Hey...why don't you bring back that failed garbage from the past and see if it works again? I like old school swill,"  McDoogal's have reintroduced the Shamrock Shake exclusively through their McWhoGivesACrap for the McPublic in Mc2016 to be McSuckedDown through a McStraw on McDay in McTucson which is located on McPlanetEarth.

So with that in mind I headed down to my local McCrefflins to get a McGreenPoopSwirly and share it with my good friend Chili, owner of our favorite bar, Danny's Baboquivari. You might remember Chili as my wing man when we ate free burgers at a strip club. Always up for a Homeskillet challenge, I know this one would be an easy one for him.

 Mainly because we plan to add McBooze to it.

Uncle O'Grimacey would be McProud

Here's the thing: McDonald's stepped up their Shamrock Shake game. The thing wasn't bad. In fact, it was actually pretty tasty. Not too thick with a distinct mint element and a welcome refreshment on a warm pre-spring day.

But enough of that. Let's get down to real Homeskillet business here.

You ready? Because here it is...

Our Top Three Booze and Shamrock Shake pairings!

Let's do this

First one was a whiskey, an obvious choice for a St. Patrick's Day taste test. Our idea was to do a shot of the hooch then suck down a good draw of the shake. We tried combining the two in a tumbler but...it didn't work. The odd pre-made concoction that makes up the Shamrock Shake only enveloped the alcohol turning it into a coagulated mush, so we opted for plan B:

A shot and shake back.

Let the great experiment begin!

Right, now, we may get some flack for this but...we defied and forgo'd the Jameson. Why you may ask? Well, honestly, because it was a too easy and an obvious choice. Plus Jameson is kind of a basic beyotch when it comes to St. Patty's Day and we wanted something a bit more, oh, shall we say...smoky and austere? We shall!

But we're not busting on Jameson...we love Jameson! It's just, well, you know...

The shot of choice for this challenge ended up being a good barrel aged Dewars, mainly because the peaty-ness and effervescence of the bottle could offset the bullpucky "smooth" of the shake, which ended up being a kind of 'fire and ice' capade of flavors and textures.

"It's like I first swallowed gas and then a minty extinguisher came to my rescue," noted Chili. And I was in agreement. The raspy harsh of a good scotch compared to the McBlerfens of the shake was incorrigible on the palate. Think of eating a bunch of red hots and suffering for a spell then a magic whipped cream siren swooped by and kissed a herbaceous respite onto your tingling tongue.

It was sort of like that but...not really. It tasted like we did a shot of warm scotch then horked down a good pull of icy green spew to calm the unfortunate wake. Like I said, through trial and error, this was the least offensive. The contrast was fun but there were two others that reigned slightly supreme over this combo.

"Is it like I'm small and the shake is really huge?" Um, maybe but....you're just out of focus

Some culinary snots have "reinvented" the Shamrock Shake adding all sorts of upscale non-sense and unnecessary infusions and deconstructions. One though actually added a splash of tequila. That...seemed reasonable. But, for us, at the time, I dunno, tequila just didn't make the cut. Maybe it was the grade of tequila we had on hand, El Enfermedad del Higado, that wasn't such a pleasant coupling. But, regardless, we pressed on!

We were thinking mint so we paired the shake with Rumple Minze, which has a very distinct peppermint shock along with the click of clear alcohol. This match was one made in a near frozen bliss temple.

"It feels like I am shushing, yes...shushing down the slopes of the snowy alps," beamed Chili, "and then landed straight into a bar filled with Swiss misses wearing only boots and hockey masks."

Couldn't have put it better myself.

So if you want a wintry swath to lead you down a lurid McShameHole then I highly advocate the drinking of these two in tandem.

So many options but only three made the cut

The last one and probably the most accessible combination was the use of whipped vanilla vodka. Honestly these two together was a deadly duo. It went down way too effortless and we could see ourselves drinking ten. Easily.

"If only we could harness the mystery and magic of the Shamrock Shake," Chili said while rubbing his scruffy chin, "and get it going with the whipped vodka here...we could make a fortune!"

That, right then and there, gave me a brilliant idea. Taking notes from the shake I drank and despised as a kid, along with the upgrade of the ones we were drinking at present, I plotted a recipe that could easily put the McCorporate World onto its greedy and trembling ears and tongues.

So I left the bar, grabbed some ingredients at the store and headed home.

Then...the magic began!

After a few McShots it was time for some well needed McFoghat

Lil Poundcake wasn't impressed until I put fish nibblets in it

Inspiration! That's the only word I can collect at this frame of genius. Wanting to recreate the powdery and anemic flavor of the 1970s Shamrock Shake with the improved flavor of it's 2016 successor along with my own "take" on the whole recipe, I gathered a few simple ingredients and this is what I came up with:

Girl Scout's Thin Mints, Minty Toothpaste and Rinse, Ice Cream, Whipped Cream and Jagermeister

If you want to try this at home it's really easy. Here...follow me!

Combine two scoops of vanilla ice cream with a few Thin Mint cookies in a blender and spin 'em until relatively smooth.

Set the blender on low and slowly add the toothpaste and mouthwash. Once you get it to a good green whirlpool, turn the blender off and do a shot of Jager.

Can you smell that? That's talent!

Pour the mixture into an old beer stein, top with whipped cream and a methaqualone horse pill and you're all set.

Then sit back, enjoy a plate of corned beef and cabbage and sip away at the drink that only dreams and memories are made of. This delight shines bright of not only the past, but definitely the present and, could it be?, yes!, the future.

The effects of this Darby O'Gill and the Little Trip to the Hospital will delight and make for a most memorable St. Patrick's Day. It's like sliding down a rainbow into a pot of gold filled with stomach pumps and eternal regret.

Slainte!

So good you'll never want to make it again

Happy St. Patrick's Day from all of us at the Tucson Homeskilet!

PS: Don't try any of this at home or...anywhere. Duh!

Camera and Typing
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
St. Patrick's Day, 2016

Metal Influence:

 HIGH ON FIRE

"Snakes For The Divine"

No real Southern inspired BBQ in Tucson you say? Forget that...Mr. Cookmans is here to the rescue!

When I first moved to Tucson over ten years ago, for some reason I thought I was relocating to a bar-be-que mecca. It's the Southwest thing I suppose; me being a Northern California kid I just had this image of steaks and ribs being turned and burned over wild fire spits, their juices running, hissing as they touch down on the coals with slathered wet rubbed skins crisping as the pit master perfectly angling them on the grill sending a quick flame up from the oak and mesquite wood smoldering below. 

Yeah, what I got was...not really that. 

Okay, I was lucky enough to find some outposts most would deem "dive bars" that know how to cook a good slab of meat, the occasional BBQ joint that served up some authentic fare but then they would go out of business and then the chain places everyone seems to like/accept that, in my humble 'que opinion, were not even close to the previously mentioned idealistic vision I had splayed in my wet and/or dry rubbed deprived mind. The seemingly one game in town, that for some reason always wins best BBQ in Tucson (which I wont mention here by name), is a constant disappointment, along with being really over priced. So what's a big BBQ fan living in the Old Pueblo supposed to do?

Because of my constant disappointment, one morning I went out and bought us a way-too-big-for-our-patio grill/smoker and we just did it ourselves. But...it wasn't the same. Our grilling was good but not like the miracles I have had in Texas or the deep south or a small place in some ramshackle strip mall just off Cienega Blvd. in Los Angeles, owned and operated by some southern transplants that brought ma and pa's secret chicken rub to the big city, a recipe that's been handed down from generation to generation. 

THAT is the kind of BBQ realness we have been craving. 

Are you ready Tucson? Because here it comes...

So when I heard about a food truck going by the name of Mr. Cookman's, claiming to offer up "real New Orleans style BBQ" I just had to find out for myself if this outfit was the actual deal. 

It didn't take long, just a bite or two mind you, for me to render this fact as law:

Yes. Yes, this is the BBQ I have been looking for. 

The ribs were coated in a sweet and zesty sauce and the meat peeled its way from the bone without even asking it to. The chicken had this smoky appeal and was seasoned with a definite southern influenced spice rub. And the sausage. Oh, the sausage had this hearty snap when you bit into it and was by far the best I have had in quite some time, probably since my travels through the south. And don't even get me started on the pulled pork sliders. Holy nards...

All I could say at that point, after much 'que carnage, was "Thank you Mr. Cookman's. You my only friend..."

Small menu, big decisions

Mr. Cookman's is owned and operated by a New Orleans, LA native Jonathan Hebert who runs the bright orange truck only on weekends since he has so much going on outside of cooking and keeping the lights on. 

"I'm actually in school right now working on a Ph.D in Business Administration," he informs as the works the line in his truck and the hungry line forming outside. "In fact, I'm actually an Electrical Engineer, which brought me to Tucson in the first place back in 2007 working for a defense company. I'm more on the management side now but I still have a passion for the technical aspects as well."

Mr Cookman's devotees lining up

With that knowledge thrown at me I had to know how it came about for him owning a food truck. 

"It's crazy", he mentions with a grin. "I was attending a conference for a fraternity in Baton Rouge and some friends and I were discussing business moves and such. I told them I saw this guy selling food out of a truck in Tucson and thought that would be a good idea. The next day we see this old grill in a field of grass, all rusty and huge, and thought it was funny because we were just talking about starting a food business. Around this time my fraternity was hosting a large block party in downtown Baton Rouge serving all kinds of food for the people. On our way to the party my friend just slams on the brakes of his car because the car in front of him, that we were following to the party, did the same. Turns out there was this old van parked in a field next to a barber shop and my friend says 'Y'all have to try this man's food'.

"There was this guy next to the van selling food plates. I bought a plate and I said to myself as I'm eating this man's food it was no coincidence that I would start selling food myself. Two weeks later I sold my first two lunch plates to some friends outside of the Tucson mall. At first I sold food out of my old Cadillac but business started to grow so I had to buy a truck. The rest is history!"

Jonathan first takes the orders then makes the orders

Now that Jonathan had the truck, he now had to come up with a name for his new and expanding business. 

"I was doing a Vlog for one of my social media sites at the time to let them know I was selling food," Hebert explains on the origin of Mr. Cookman's. "I was just saying stuff off the cuff and out came Mr. Cookman's. The name has been with me ever since and I'm always surprised at how many people address me as such when I'm out in public."

Slow cooked to perfection

Busy with school, busy with life and now busy with the truck, I asked what a typical day for him looks like.

"I'm usually up at  6am," says Jonathan lifting ribs out of the warmer. "I check emails, my calendar, social media and then I'm off. After work I usually write a few pages of dissertation for school and I'm hopefully asleep by midnight or even 1am. Food selling days, I am only focused on the business. Once I'm dressed I hit my commissary to start cooking. I load the truck and head out to the site and start setting up. 

"This is when I am in 'my space'; every problem in the world disappears when I am selling food. Time dissolves, nothing distracts me - just me, my food and my customers. I am so blessed that I always sell out."

Winner, winner

"Mr. Cookman's was not my first business," he mentions with a bit of a sly smile. "I guess you could say I've always had that "hustler" spirit since I was young. Believe it or not I have about two decades worth of selling things and I'm only 34 now. 

"In grade school and high school I always sold snacks to my fellow classmates. If I needed something I worked hard and saved to get it. In college I used my experience of selling snack foods into selling computers. Now I'm back to selling food. 

"I guess I've come full circle."  

Jonathan coming full circle with flavor

Here's the thing: outside of all the 'business' aspects, the 'hustling' and selling, Jonathan knows how to cook food. Like I said earlier, his BBQ was some of the best I have had anywhere. So he had to have gotten those skills somehow.

But how?

Smoker doing work

"I think it grew out of being in the Boy Scouts,"  Jonathan muses with a grin about what got him into cooking. "We were on a camping trip and we all cooked this simple dish, 'chicken in foil', which was seasoned chicken, with onions, wrapped in foil and cooked over hot coals. For some reason that flavor always stuck with me. I tried to do it in the oven years later but it just wasn't the same. I realized that it was the coals that gave it all the flavor. Since then I have been a fan of anything BBQ related. And I watch a lot of cooking shows."

Servin' it up to another lucky customer

It seems that Jonathan and I have a lot in common: we obsess over real BBQ and watch way too much Food Network. We chatted about some of the BBQ cook-off shows that we both love and I had to ask what makes New Orleans style BBQ its own trait and technique?

The snap and texture on these things was insane!

"To me," he says gesticulating wildly over a grill sizzling with sausages, "New Orleans style can be described the same way you describe New Orleans food in general - savory, spicy with a hint of Creole and Cajun flavor. The key to New Orleans style cooking is the use of cayenne pepper, Louisiana sugar cane, and a special blend of hardwoods which I use to for infusing smoke flavor into the meats."

Amen to that my man!

Sausage, beer and mac 'n cheese: in repose

Now flushed with knowledge of Louisiana style BBQ, I had to ask what he considers his signature dish. 

"Oh man, it's hard to pick out a signature dish," Jonathan admits as he rubs his gloved hands together. "I must say it's got to be my best seller which is the pulled pork sliders. However the ribs and fried chicken do have a cult following. Honestly I treat every dish like a signature dish. If it does not pass my taste buds," he proudly proclaims, "the public will not see it!"

Having tried all of the above, yes, it would be difficult to pin down a signature dish from this man. All of them distinct, all of them tasty and succulent in their own way. I would have a hard time picking one out. But I don't have to. 

I'm just the eater and writer here...

Handsome boy modeling school ordering it up

"Actually, I'd have to say the fried chicken, but I say this with a grain of salt!", chimes Hebert lifting a stern finger in the air when I asked what his favorite item to cook was. 

"I like the fried chicken because it's not easy to cook. You have to watch it and make sure the temperature is constantly under control. It requires the most attention and love...and I believe you call that 'soul food'." 

I just used that roll to sop up my tears of joy

With the growing population of food trucks happening here in Tucson, the competition is getting fierce. Not that Jonathan has much to worry about because his food is simply incredible and he is basically one of the only real mobile BBQ options in the area. But running a food truck is hard work and he had this to say on what drives him to do it. 

"It's the challenge," he concedes. "It's the pride of ownership but most importantly it's the ability to give more. The challenge of being a small business owner is to figure out how to be one of the small businesses that can help drive the economy and help provide opportunities to others."

Good words from a very good man. 

You can taste the joy Jonathan puts into his food

Now that he's been in Tucson for a while, and this being the Tucson Homeskillet, I had to know what Jonathan thought about the food culture here in the Old Pueblo. 

"Believe it or not," he says dishing up a pile of beans, ribs and his seven cheese mac 'n cheese for a patron, "the amount of restaurants here in Tucson is comparable to the amount of restaurants in New Orleans. I seem to find new spots every month or so. You could go somewhere new everyday and get a taste of foods from different cultures. However, I do see some voids in the marketplace and, well, some of which I plan to capitalize on in the future."

That hustler spirit will never diminish. 

Bow before rib mecca

Speaking of the future, here's what Jonathan had to say about his upcoming plans, projections and prospects in times to come. 

"I would like to get my products in high schools, universities and grocery stores," he claims. "My plans outside of cooking is to open another business that is focused on personal finance and savings. I get asked all the time: 'How do you do it? How do you open a business that makes money?' 

"My philosophy on business is a more "down to Earth" approach than anything you can read in a textbook. So it seems only right that I provide my service into those interested in learning business. Overcoming the low points is the only way to grow a business. But I have many repeat customers that swing by the truck then go home to spend time with their families. People are actually creating moments with my food!

"And that...is a definite high to me."

With that, and me on a meat and food high, all I could do at that point was thank him, thank the Boy Scouts, thank his friends for pulling over and eating mystery grub from some dude in a van and thank his ever present hustler mentality. Jonathan and Mr. Cookman's may have different plans for the future, but as far as the present is concerned, we can all appreciate his gift of BBQ right now. 

Cheers!
 

Metal Mark in his natural habitat: a food mess

Camera and Typing
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Late Second Week of October 2015


Metal Influence

Down

"NOLA"

Metal Mark's Tortilla Soup

Ah Tortilla Soup. You love it, you know I love it and I love it when I get a recipe down that tastes like a good Mexican restaurant. Mind you, I cut a lot of the lardy stuff out because, and I'm sure you know by now, my goal is to cook as healthily as possible, without skipping out on that all important “flavor” thingy. Because, then, you know...what's the point?

So, after some practice and doing a bit of 'take this / take that' from various recipes, I got one down that I'm sure you're gonna love. Because I know we did. And it's around 300 calories and low sodium.

You ready? Let's get started!

Now first, you can use either chicken broth or stock. She-Ra and I usually have a good amount of stock kept in our freezer. For this, though, I used broth. If you don't know how to make chicken stock, dude, it's way easy. We usually make ours after a chicken feast and use the whole carcass and bits, which we place in a big pot with chopped white onion, celery and carrots (the holy trinity!). Pour in enough water to cover the chicken and put the temp to low or simmer. Let that simmer for a few hours, strain through either a micro sieve or cheesecloth into a freezable bag or container and, wa-binga!, you have stock. Easy right? And it really adds a whole new dimension to your soups or whatever.

Here's what you'll need for the Tortilla Soup:

1 lb of boneless skinless chicken breasts

6 cups of chicken broth (I just used one of those big 48oz cans of the stuff)

Tablespoon of canola or vegetable oil

1 white onion, chopped

1 tablespoon of chipotle pepper

2 or 3 cloves of peeled and chopped garlic

1 can of whole peeled tomatoes (I used Muir Glen organic with chiles)

Salt and pepper

2 limes

Cilantro

Hot sauce

An avocado

Jalapenos, chopped onion, radishes (for garnish if you want)

For the actual tortillas, you can either get a couple of corn tortillas, cut them into strips, place them in a preheated oven at 450 degrees and bake them until they are light brown and crispy or you can buy the pre-stripped bagged kind, like from Fresh Gourmet, which works just as well...but has more sodium. But is easier. It's up to you.

In a large pot over medium high heat, put in the oil. Then add the garlic and onion until they are soft and translucent. Transfer the onion and garlic into a blender and add the tomatoes and chipotle. Make sure you use the entire can of tomatoes. You want that juice buddy. Hit the “Puree” button and blend it until it is all smooth.

Here, again, you have a choice. You can either pre-cook your chicken, in an oven set at 450 for about 10 minutes (season them with salt and pepper first!) and drop it in the soup later or you can try poaching them. To poach the chicken, return the blended stuff to the pot and add the broth (or stock) and bring it to a simmer. Season the chicken with the almighty salt and pepper and drop the breasts into the liquid. Poach them in the soup for about 10 minutes or until they are cooked all the way through. Once, cooked properly, remove the chicken and slice or shred them before serving. A good way to shred chicken is by using a fork and dragging it on the breasts until you have rendered the chicken down to a pile of shreds. We just sliced them thin because it was getting late, we had a few cocktails and I didn't feel like shredding chicken. Sliced chicken works best here anyway I think.

Now add the lime juice and a good amount of chopped cilantro. Let it simmer a bit more getting the juice and cilantro all up in that piece. If you want, which we did, we added a bit of hot sauce. Nothing fancy, just the stuff you find at Food City, a Mexican carniceria or, crap, Ralph's. Tapatia and Valentina work great here. Add a bit of salt and pepper to taste.

Once the soup is in the bowls, top it with the chicken, tortilla strips, avocado (which you need to cut into cubes, and easy way is just, after cutting the avocado in half and removing the pit, take your knife and trace down the pulp, all the way to the shell, then scoring width wise, in a criss-cross fashion, then just scoop it out and there you go!) and the other garnishes that I highly recommend.

In the end, it might look like this:

Yeah, I know – crappy presentation. Look pal, like I said, it was getting late, we were pretty hungry and I think “RuPaul's Drag Race” was about to start. I should've wiped the rim of the bowl but...whatever. It was good eats anyway. I served it with a salad of romaine, black beans, tomatoes, red onion, shredded cheese and this southwest ranch dressing that I made (I can get you that recipe too). Super yummy and pretty darn healthy.

There you go. Good luck, good eating and above all...it's good for you!