The secret to our "kitchen" success!

Recently, my lovely lady She-Ra posted on Facebook about how we saved so much cash at the grocery store and how we also saved so many calories in our meal planning. This garnered a lot of interested parties, people asking her what her secret is, are we extreme couponers, do we dumpster dive, what the heck are you talking about and have you seen “Breaking Dawn” yet? Point is, at this stage in our lives, with our budgeting and counting of fat grams, we had to come up with a solution to the dinner and money crisis. It's not that its really a 'crisis', per se, but there have been a few nights where we stare at each other after a long day and ask “What the heck do you wanna do for dinner?” I'm sure you've been there. You're probably there right now. If you have kids, double plus crisis.

We actually came up with the meal planning solution on the eve of a rather bad thing. I was relieved of my duties as kitchen manager for a busy mom and pop bar and grill and am currently (as I type this, hopefully for not long) unemployed. I mean, they canned me over the phone, the day before the Super Bowl. I mean, who does that? Well, it was a sketchy endeavor from the get go and, luckily due to said budgeting and savings, we're okay for a while. It's just that...I like working. Makes reading and writing all the more precious. When you can do something that you love all day, it kind of makes it a bit less special. I love tater tots but I don't eat them everyday. Do I? Wait. Yeah. No, I don't.

In any case, the point is She-Ra and I both love to cook and eat. But we don't always have time for it. Or do we? Actually, we really do and when we began to map out our meals and set a goal and budget for ourselves, we found out that if we're smart about it, cooking amazing and healthy meals can be quite easy. You just gotta know how and what to cook. And I know a lot of folks out there don't like to do either, even though they watch Paula Deen make her whipped cream and bacon turd dumplings on the Food Network and be all “Oh yeah, I could totally make that” as they shovel another handful of cool ranch Doritos into their face and pop in a microwave lasagne for dinner.

Wait. I actually like microwave lasagne. What am I saying here?

Anyway, I know that if you're reading this that you yourself and hopefully your family enjoys cooking and preparing good to eat and good for you savory meals. Right? Yeah. Because your awesome. But if you seem to be having a bit of trouble making it all work, with what you have in your bank account, in your pantry, whats on sale at the Piggly Wiggly, whats dying in the veggie crisper and getting frost bite in your freezer, then maybe what we have come up with will help you on your road to culinary success.

Okay. Here's what we do.

#1 : Get some real cookbooks

Now, I'm not talking about any of those Food Network rip-off books with recipes loaded with crap your waistline doesn't need or celebrity chef how to books with ingredients you'll never use again or have never heard of before. Yes, it's fine to try to decode a Richard Bayless recipe once in a while to make a super fancy south of the border dish, but we're talking day to day stuff here kids. The French Laundry Cookbook is incredible but how many times do you use foie gras on a weekly basis? Yeah. Uh huh. That's what I thought.

For real, there are so many healthy eating cookbooks out there that aren't connected to a fad diet or emaciated celebrity. Heck, some even come with a weekly meal planner so you don't even have to think about anything except the preparation. I think Rachael Ray does something like that. Doesn't she? She probably does.

Just do a bit of research and you'll come up with a smorgasbord of options. One series of cookbooks we love are the “Cook This, Not That” ones. Basically, these handy little gems, put out by the editors of Men's Health magazine, compare popular options at chain restaurants and give you a better, healthier and cheaper version of the dish. For example, at Applebee's you can get a Southwest Jalapeno Burger for $10 that is 1,110 calories, 70 grams of fat (24 saturated and 3 trans) and 2,100 mg of sodium. Sure I bet it tastes fine but...are you kidding me? That's disgusting. The recipe in Cook This, Not That chops 750 calories off, is a fraction of the fat and sodium and saves you almost eight bucks. And, the best part is, it's freakin' delicious. Now, who wouldn't want to save fat and calories and a few bucks? Plus it's fun to cook and if you have a partner or family to get involved, even better. 

 

#2 : Plan your weekly menu.

Get together with everyone and see what looks good on the pages or websites. Sure tacos, pasta and hot dogs all sound good, but do they share a common ingredient? This is where the budgeting comes in. Try to find 7 meals that at least share a few items. For example, the steak salad we made calls for some chipotle peppers, so does a chicken tenders recipe, and the BBQ sauce for our southwest pizza calls for some in the sauce with some honey and the honey can also be used in the glaze used for the pork chops and also the chicken tenders, etc etc. You see. Buy a bunch of cilantro and it can be used in tacos, Thai dishes, that southwest pizza I mentioned. So on and so forth. A red onion goes a long way, as does good leafy lettuce, garlic, a bottle of hot sauce (like how can you not live without Frank's red Hot or Sriracha?), a block of good cheese and, of course, bacon. Even vegans like bacon. I actually have a recipe for vegan bacon. No really. It's pretty good.

And of course you know eggs can go a long way. Not only to be scrambled or poached, those guys can act as a binder for coating a chicken, a base for your favorite souffle or a topper to a steaming hot bowl of pho. Always keep eggs in the fridge. Unless, of course, you just happen to be a vegan. Then you're screwed.

By the way, you need to get to like brussels sprouts. Don't like them? Put them in a gratin or casserole or, even better a slaw. That's right my little dumpling, those things are mini cabbages and taste amazing shredded and tossed in dressing. Give it a try. No really. Trust me here...

#3 : Shop smart.

When She-Ra and I go out for a serious grocery shopping run, you better believe we hit at least three or four markets. Yeah, yeah, I get the whole “well, you're just wasting gas and that's like money down the drain and blah blah blah...” but in this day and age markets, at least where I have lived in the past, oh, thirty years, have all been in at least a cozy 5 mile radius. We know the butcher and deli guys at Albertsons so we'll stop in there and get some meat. Then its off to Sunflower for organic and slightly exotic produce. Food City for anything Mexican. Safeway for basics. Trader Joes for nick knacks. Total Wine for booze. You get the idea. We know where the best deals are and we go to them when it's time to stock the fridge and pantry. Sure we go to high end and hippie markets now and then for the absolute best of the best when we want it and can afford it, but, again, we're talking about the everyday survival kit here, not an anniversary, a birthday or the season finale of “Real Housewives of Belt Montana”. Those deserve a trip to the land of Kobe beef and radicchio picked from the backyard garden of someone named Cleric Tree Heart Lotus, because you know that stuff is gonna be bomb. But with bills, rent, kids, debt, school, mortgage and owing Earl down at the tracks big time, you really need to plan ahead and shop smarter. It'll save you a lot of cash and calories down the line and we could all afford a bit of that. 

 (Trust me here, Total Wine has the absolute best deal for beer, wine and booze. I've done some shopping around...)

#4 : Take the time to do it right.

“But Mark,” you're probably saying right now, “I just don't have the time to cook and prepare meals every night!”

Stop whining you cry baby!

Actually, no, it's true. There are going to be days and times where you just can't get it together and get in the kitchen and get cooking. After a twelve hour day, the toilets clogged, the kids have soccer practice, the spouse is out on a business meeting and the cat is on fire, the last thing you probably want to do is shred chicken and slice peppers. Here's the thing: if you have the tools and the means, you can prepare meals in really no time at all. Heck, we even do slow cooker / one pot meals all the time when the clock is the enemy. After “smart shopping” and having your menu all laid out, all you have to do is take a few moments to grate the cheese and saute the onions. It's really not that hard. While the roast is in the oven, go take a long deserving bath and play Farmville with the towel wrapped around your head afterward. When you've had that ever eluding “me time” all you gotta do is put the stuff on plates and serve it up. Bonus is you have kids or pals around that are willing to help out. Teach junior how to get juice from a lemon, to toss and dress a salad, proper ratio of salt and pepper and for crying out loud how to do something else except microwave chicken nuggets. Isn't that why you have kids in the first place? To do crap around the house? That field aint gonna plow itself boy. Better get behind the mule and help ol' ma and pa out.

Cooking is pretty easy and totally awesome. We love to do it and now that we have a solid plan from week to week, it's gotten even better. I can't tell you how many times we've gone to a bar with a dinner planned then after a few drinks go “Nah...let's just order a pizza.” Dude, that noise just adds up, both cash and fat wise. After a while we just looked at ourselves and realized we were wasting time and money and getting chubbier because of it. Not cool. Now we keep bar visits to a bare minimum and keep the kitchen stocked for weekly meals. And, if you're a soup maven like She-Ra, she makes enough to keep you prepared for lunch and late night snackin' for days. Her minestrone, which was the best I've probably ever had, is still in the fridge. She made that stuff like four days ago. Unreal. So good. 

 

#5: Have fun.

This is the most obvious one. If you hate cooking, enjoy wasting money and want to get fat then go for it. Can't do nuffin' for you son. All I'm trying to do is share the wealth that She-Ra and myself have acquired over the years as serious eaters and cooks. Now that we pretty much have it down to a science, we just want to pass it along to you. These five easy steps is what we do every day, every week, and have noticed a significant difference in just a short amount of time. Hopefully it can be an inspiration to you and help you along the way to better eating and cooking. Unless, of course, you're like some health guru or fancy dietician chef with a TV show and book deal.

Then...why the heck are you reading this?

Good luck everyone. And good eating!

The Groupon Chronicles part one: KON TIKI

Part one: KON TIKI

For most of us here in Tucson, Kon Tiki is that curious Polynesian lounge in some dilapidated strip mall around the corner of Broadway and Swan. It looks cool but, well, the parking probably sucks and I bet it's filled with all sorts of characters from some beat lore drunken rejects from a Hemmingway or Bukowski novel, so I best not bother the regulars and just go to Appleby's for a Bud Light. For the rest of us, it is a curious piece of tiki themed Americana that does cater to a swill tank of bumbling rummys and aging red nosed Jimmy Buffet fans who want to “let loose” all too often in rotten loud printed shirts and sing 'Margaritaville' extremely off key and inventing words as the infusion of booze-a-hol makes one tend to forget that its actually “a woman to blame” not “a worm on my name.” And what the heck does that mean anyway? Having a male ponytail at 60 must make ones brain stretch and pull all pertinent residual information now hovering in a reek sack of bong resin and much too many scorpion bowls.

Kon Tiki, is, indeed, all of the aforementioned bliss: It's dark, it's retro, it's in a bad neighborhood, it's kind of sticky, the fishtank needs a cleaning and for gods sake would that lady please shut up about her cat being diabetic? I mean, for real, another gin fizz and she'll be weeping about Muffin and the fact that he's now on kitty insulin.

My first experience with Kon Tiki was questionable at best. Having recently moved here from San Francisco (which was 7 years ago) I thought going to a Polynesian tiki hut bar would be a great idea because back there, tiki bars were really cool and plentiful and we usually had a great time in them. The Tonga Room was probably the best, with amazing happy hour fare, huge drinks (that were also hugely expensive) and a tropical storm would crackle and rain over you every half hour. Trader Vic's on upper Geary street was a smaller and more tame version and the same one where we got in trouble for playing the first Spice Girls album on the jukebox in constant rotation from front to back. So, when the option to go hang out at Kon Tiki came my way I got kind of excited and promised myself to not drink the Hurricane because last time, I well...let's say I woke up across town next to somebody else with the words “poop here” written in sharpie next to my mouth.

The facade of Kon Tiki was interesting to me, although it felt a bit worn down and shabby. I liked the little bridge leading up to the big red door but the surrounding landscape was mossy, grown over and littered with urban debris. Upkeep here, I thought, must be at a minimum because the interior is the main priority as are the stiff and sweet drinks.

Nope. The interior, although decked out like an early 60's swinging bachelor pad, loomed in a haze of old drunks and yellowed from years of too much cigarette smoke clinging to decades old plastic tiki gods, bamboo screens and black velvet paintings of scantily clad island temptresses. We sat down near the back, in full observance of a huge and, yes, completely filthy aviary behind the squiggly bar, and I was pleased to find that an impromptu taco bar was set up for happy hour. After ordering my drink, I got up to sample the free fare but was not at all shocked to find that the food all but decimated with some sad shredded cheese mix looking up at me and begging me to put it out of its misery. No matter though, the locals were out for taco bar blood and they pushed me aside to devour the sloppily chopped iceburg lettuce, inhale the gray meat flavored from a dusty concoction in a easy to open packet and shove it all in taco shells that only school lunchrooms should deem appropriate and “edible”. There was one woman who actually got upset at me for standing there and deciding if I should indeed grab a small paper plate and join the masses in their free taco eating frenzy.

“Well what are you waiting for?” she grumbled. “Let's get going. I've been drinking since noon.”

Forget it, I thought, and went back to my seat and joined my friends. Luckily, they too were hungry and had already started ordering off the menu. They wanted something called “Monkeys on a Stick”, some bbq ribs and crab puffs (although the c in crab was replaced by a k...clever). I felt nervous and hesitant to try anything cooked out of sight in a place like this. Sure, the drinks were big and strong like a Samoan warrior, and hit just as hard, but by the looks of the place, I'm sure the kitchen was twice as bad and filled with sketchy characters that haunted the bar, all trying to sing along to Bob Marley but only barely knew the chorus to “No Woman, No Cry.” 

 

When the food arrived I was pleasantly surprised to find the potions just as plentiful as the booze, with decent presentation, and it didn't look like cockroaches stuck on skewers. Monkeys on a Stick are cubed pieces of sirloin, marinated and jabbed onto wooden mini-stakes. I tried one. It was good. Really good. Perfect medium rare with a very pleasant and tangy flavor. The bbq ribs actually fell off the bone and were just as flavorful and cooked with precision just as the steak skewers had been. I'm always hesitant to try seafood from places that are far away from any body of water, but, I have to be honest here, those crab puffs, sorry...”krab puffs” were really good, all combined in cream cheese and some spices. Now, I thought, as always, I should never judge a book, or at least a kitchen, by the look of its cover, meaning the outside and interior. Some of my favorite eateries were usually known as “shit holes” by others, only because the central focus was the food and having to weave your way through back alleys, or walk though low ceiling dark dungeon-like dining areas only to come out the other end experiencing some of the greatest food you've ever had felt like an initiation, weeding out the naysayers and the fearful and introducing the brave and always up for anything clan to flavors you really didn't know existed.

Kon Tiki was sort of like that.

Now, we'd go back to Kon Tiki, now and then, but really, if ever, ate off the menu. It was usually a stopping point for visiting friends or a meeting place before we went out to a “respectable” eating establishment. Then we just kind of stopped going there. I mean, it is kind of out of the way for us and, well, after a bit we kind of forgot about Kon Tiki.

Then, quite recently, the place got a facelift. The torches outside of Kon Tiki hadn't been lit in years. In it's heyday, Kon Tiki had those big savage fire torches lit and you could see them from blocks away. Through the years though, with money and the times being an issue, they just stopped lighting them which gave an extra sad element to it's already fading glory. When I arrived for the first time I had to hear tales of long time residents spinning about how glorious and cool those torches were. But, with some new money coming in and some interested parties and investors, the torches outside of Kon Tiki are lit once again making the new coat of paint shine even brighter. 

 

Then, we got an email from Groupon. “$10 for $20 worth of food at Kon Tiki” it said. If you're not familiar with Groupon, you should be. All you have to do is go to their website (www.groupon.com), sign up and you'll soon start getting emails about deals around your town. We have discovered so many badass restaurants because of it, which is the reason behind this series of Homeskillet blogs. So when we got one for Kon Tiki, we were all “Oh yeah. The food really was good there.” Except for that taco bar mess. I mean, was that salsa or...?

So on a pleasant afternoon, one that we both had off together (a Tuesday, another benefit of working in the restaurant industry, weekdays off) after running some errands we decided to give Kon Tiki another shot.

The front entrance was now clean and very un-mossy, the grounds were kept and free of debris and the big red front door looked brand new. When we stepped inside we were now met with a clean fishtank, shined up tiki gods and happy to see that old crappy aviary was gone and replaced by a real patio. Note to all bar and restaurant owners in Tucson: If you do not have a patio in your establishment you are fxxked. Install one now. Have you seen the weather out there? Yeah. Beautiful. And where are your patrons supposed to smoke? By the dumpster? Get the hint here people. Tucson is definitely patio territory. 

 The old terrarium, now a patio...thank the tiki gods!

Of course there were the expected smatterings of some drooling barflys but, that's a given in any dimly lit bar in any town near a methadone clinic. We sat near the back and were warmly greeted by the bartender. The menus were new, our table was clean and it seemed to have a much more open and friendly vibe. Maybe it was because it was a Tuesday afternoon and not Friday night in the middle of the pineapple soaked rum rage puke holocaust that I was so used to in places like this. Still, it smelled a lot better.

She-Ra, of course, got the Monkeys on a Stick and a large house salad while I got the Hawaiian bbq chicken with steamed rice. Our salads came out first accompanied by fresh made banana bread, which literally melted in your mouth. The salads were fresh, the dressing was tangy and so far we were pretty impressed.

Then came the entrees. The Monkeys on a Stick were a lot bigger than I had remembered from trying them so long ago. Huge chunks of marinated sirloin clung to those skewers. She-Ra tried one and her eyes closed. “These literally,” she mewed “are melting in my mouth.” I had to try one. It was true, that meat was so tender and cooked to medium rare perfection. Who's back in the kitchen, I wondered. I was envisioned a large dark skinned man hailing from an island that I had never heard of somewhere in the bright blue pools off of Polynesia. My chicken was amazing. That Hawaiian bbq sauce was packed with flavor, doused over a large pineapple ring and my chicken breast, which was generous, juicy and perfectly cooked. We basically ate in silence. Were we that impressed with the food or were we happy that a Tucson staple had gotten a much needed facelift and planned to come back as soon as possible? It was both. It had to be. Not to mention my side veggies were steamed just enough and seasoned just as well, a perfect accompaniment to a perfect lunch.

We left Kon Tiki satisfied, walking out into the late afternoon sun with smiles on our faces and in our tummies. Not just pleased with our meal but happy to know that people who give a crap and want to maintain a tradition in our city made the effort and gave a quirky institution the attention it deserves. I highly recommend eating at Kon Tiki, now that they have revamped and, obviously, hired a new chef. Let's all hope he looks like that image I hold in my imagination: Grinning a toothy grin as he sharpens curved knives over an open flame of ribs and steak, his ample Maori form a testament to all things great about eating good island inspired fare.

Of course, they still do happy hour and that taco bar is featured on Fridays. And you just read about my experience in tiki lounges on Fridays right? So, yeah, good luck with that one.

Thank you Groupon for re-introducing us to a place we had lost faith in. It's good to know that when you're in the hub of Broadway and Swan, and are craving a tall fruity well hooched drink, such as a (gulp!) Hurricane, Zombie, the famous Scorpion Bowl and something called The Suffering Buster, before the heady death swagger of one sip over the line hits your system, you can order something off the menu that will soak it up and stick to your ribs to boot. You just gotta love Kon Tiki and now that we've been back after all these years, we love it too.

But I will love it less if that crazy cat lady comes back and tells me Muffin has died because of some diabetic coma. C'mon lady. I'm only on my first drink and the surf and turf is to die for.

No offense... 

 

Metal Mark's Tortilla Soup

Ah Tortilla Soup. You love it, you know I love it and I love it when I get a recipe down that tastes like a good Mexican restaurant. Mind you, I cut a lot of the lardy stuff out because, and I'm sure you know by now, my goal is to cook as healthily as possible, without skipping out on that all important “flavor” thingy. Because, then, you know...what's the point?

So, after some practice and doing a bit of 'take this / take that' from various recipes, I got one down that I'm sure you're gonna love. Because I know we did. And it's around 300 calories and low sodium.

You ready? Let's get started!

Now first, you can use either chicken broth or stock. She-Ra and I usually have a good amount of stock kept in our freezer. For this, though, I used broth. If you don't know how to make chicken stock, dude, it's way easy. We usually make ours after a chicken feast and use the whole carcass and bits, which we place in a big pot with chopped white onion, celery and carrots (the holy trinity!). Pour in enough water to cover the chicken and put the temp to low or simmer. Let that simmer for a few hours, strain through either a micro sieve or cheesecloth into a freezable bag or container and, wa-binga!, you have stock. Easy right? And it really adds a whole new dimension to your soups or whatever.

Here's what you'll need for the Tortilla Soup:

1 lb of boneless skinless chicken breasts

6 cups of chicken broth (I just used one of those big 48oz cans of the stuff)

Tablespoon of canola or vegetable oil

1 white onion, chopped

1 tablespoon of chipotle pepper

2 or 3 cloves of peeled and chopped garlic

1 can of whole peeled tomatoes (I used Muir Glen organic with chiles)

Salt and pepper

2 limes

Cilantro

Hot sauce

An avocado

Jalapenos, chopped onion, radishes (for garnish if you want)

For the actual tortillas, you can either get a couple of corn tortillas, cut them into strips, place them in a preheated oven at 450 degrees and bake them until they are light brown and crispy or you can buy the pre-stripped bagged kind, like from Fresh Gourmet, which works just as well...but has more sodium. But is easier. It's up to you.

In a large pot over medium high heat, put in the oil. Then add the garlic and onion until they are soft and translucent. Transfer the onion and garlic into a blender and add the tomatoes and chipotle. Make sure you use the entire can of tomatoes. You want that juice buddy. Hit the “Puree” button and blend it until it is all smooth.

Here, again, you have a choice. You can either pre-cook your chicken, in an oven set at 450 for about 10 minutes (season them with salt and pepper first!) and drop it in the soup later or you can try poaching them. To poach the chicken, return the blended stuff to the pot and add the broth (or stock) and bring it to a simmer. Season the chicken with the almighty salt and pepper and drop the breasts into the liquid. Poach them in the soup for about 10 minutes or until they are cooked all the way through. Once, cooked properly, remove the chicken and slice or shred them before serving. A good way to shred chicken is by using a fork and dragging it on the breasts until you have rendered the chicken down to a pile of shreds. We just sliced them thin because it was getting late, we had a few cocktails and I didn't feel like shredding chicken. Sliced chicken works best here anyway I think.

Now add the lime juice and a good amount of chopped cilantro. Let it simmer a bit more getting the juice and cilantro all up in that piece. If you want, which we did, we added a bit of hot sauce. Nothing fancy, just the stuff you find at Food City, a Mexican carniceria or, crap, Ralph's. Tapatia and Valentina work great here. Add a bit of salt and pepper to taste.

Once the soup is in the bowls, top it with the chicken, tortilla strips, avocado (which you need to cut into cubes, and easy way is just, after cutting the avocado in half and removing the pit, take your knife and trace down the pulp, all the way to the shell, then scoring width wise, in a criss-cross fashion, then just scoop it out and there you go!) and the other garnishes that I highly recommend.

In the end, it might look like this:

Yeah, I know – crappy presentation. Look pal, like I said, it was getting late, we were pretty hungry and I think “RuPaul's Drag Race” was about to start. I should've wiped the rim of the bowl but...whatever. It was good eats anyway. I served it with a salad of romaine, black beans, tomatoes, red onion, shredded cheese and this southwest ranch dressing that I made (I can get you that recipe too). Super yummy and pretty darn healthy.

There you go. Good luck, good eating and above all...it's good for you!