Pat's Chili Dogs: A Little Celebration For A Tucson Tradition

"So how come you never did a thing about Pat's chili dogs? Thought you liked stuff like that."

"We do. Maybe we will."

"Well....when?"

"How about now?"

"Oh. Okay. Like now now or now later?"

"Now now."

*long pause*

"Cool..."

One mild, one hot comin' up

Pat's Drive In (or more commonly known as Pat's chili dogs) has been serving up sloppy awesome since 1955. Founded by a guy named Henry Patterson, (or more commonly referred to as Pat), this little fast food stand has stood the test of time, waistlines, dedicated fans, an obscene amount of criticism and above all the question of what makes a "real" chili dog.

Do you put beans in your chili for a chili dog or just meat?

Let the great debate begin!

(Personally, we prefer just meat for our chili dogs which goes against what they do over at Pat's, which is a bean based recipe...so there's that, sorry Pat's)

Always a line waiting for the goods

According to local legend, the recipe for their "famous" chili has changed over the years, which has upset a lot of regular customers that have been coming here for decades. Others deny this. Insiders stake that the recipe hasn't switched at all since its inception, but rather perhaps whoever was on chili prep that day might have added too little cumin, or too much paprika...stuff like that. Which can happen. And it does happen.

A lot.

Having been here only a handful of times, we have never noticed a change in the chili recipe. The recipe itself?

It's fine.

The chili at Pat's probably wont win any awards but it does go well with the dogs, which are...

Good.

No actually the links they use at Pat's are a nice quality; soft and flavorful that nestle well with the steamed buns that surround the slapdash fillings. All for like $2.

C'mon now. Now that's a win all around.

If you make them, they will come

Observing the controlled chaos that goes about inside during a rush is a thing to marvel at.

Each employee has a specific station and if they deviate from that said assignment...pure anarchy. It's a bit like watching a line of ants get scuffled by a falling leaf that got in their way. Sure they press on and eventually get proper order reinstated, but for a few minutes a good scream is to be heard, blame gets tossed around like a game of Hot Potato, someone nearly quits and no one knows what do to for a few seconds.

It's quite the spectacle if you ask us.

But once structure falls back into place, all is right with the world.

That's why we think the cooks and servers there are so grouchy, or ornery is a better term: Constant movement, not getting rich doing this and Carl showed up late again.

It's always Carl isn't it?

Stupid Carl...

Shouldn't that be Weeniecat Country?

Our first experience with Pat's was a couple of years ago. And it was sort of on a dare.

It was early July, hot, had the day off and we were reeling that Joey Chestnut usurped Takeru Kobayashi for eating the most hot dogs. Influenced by that bout, we set off to find this Pat's place and see how many dogs we could stuff in our beer soaked faces thinking that we could challenge Chestnut's 66 hot dogs in ten minutes.

Kobayashi only ate 63. Yeah..."only".

Got about three in before hitting the weenie wall. Fries were involved too, but still. Only three. The chili dogs themselves aren't very big which made us wonder why we could only put away three.

"Remember that bar-b-que we were at earlier?", noted one of our 4th of July reveler friends. "You had like four hamburgers."

Oh yeah. We did eat a lot before coming to Pat's. Huh. That explains it.

For all of our smarts, we sure am dumb.

The dogs were good though.

Welp, you get what you pay for

But the fries! Oh man...the fries are what kill it for us.

Hand cut, thinly sliced and perfectly greasy fries are the ideal accompaniment to their dogs and burgers. The old school fry trough looks as if it hasn't changed since the Kennedy administration and we are sure that's what gives the side treat their sheen and moxie.

Hot, chewy, reminiscent of a state fair or circus, the fries at Pat's are some of the best in town and that is a throw down we will stand behind.

Many chefs here in Tucson take the fry game to a whole new stratosphere, but there is something about a lil' stand that's been standing around for over 50 years offering up classically cooked fries served in a white sack that turns a deep silver from the amount of grease emanating from them.

You may think 'gross' but you know you want some right now.

We know we do.

Go on...go get some.

Do it now!

The fries are kind of the star here

Located on the corner of North Grande Avenue and West Niagara, in the Barrio Hollywood district, Pat's isn't exactly in the most picturesque of locations.

We don't care. We love this part of town. Heck, Taco Giro and Tania's 33 are just down the block, some of the best food around, but a lot of timid tourists looking for a taste of old timey Tucson or so called "foodies" that are on the prowl for that next funky and "totally hilarious" grub spot might get thrown off a bit. This particular stretch of Tucson is a little rough, kinda run down, very blue collar and very barrio Tucson.

If you go online and read some of the "complaints" about Pat's, most will be about the conditions of the neighborhood, the cleanliness of the tables outside (you gotta buss that stuff yourself pal, kids inside are too busy to wipe down benches making it all "safe" for you to eat their deep fried majesty) or the attitudes of the staff.

"Ugh. So rude," one 'critic' had to say about the employees. "Like he didn't even say thank you. Just took my money like an animal. I think they're all like gang members or something."

Probably. I hope so. Better them cooking us up some chili dog madness then being out on the street getting into mischief. Pat's is definitely a "locals only" type of place or for those that are cool enough to just relax, sit back, go to your happy place and eat some burgers and dogs from a drive-in for just a couple of bucks.

Otherwise, good luck finding these prices and this kind of atmosphere in the Foothills. Aint gonna happen.

Although they do buss tables in the Foothills. But you're going to have to play extra for that...

"Where's my chili dog at?"

With that said we at the Tucson Homeskillet just want to thank Pat's for doing what they do, why they do it and how they've been doing it for so long. We love tradition and are glad that they have kept to their food heritage for this long. We have a feeling they will be around for many more years to come. By the amount of business they do on a regular basis is an attest to that.

It's also nice to know that when you just want to have a taste of your childhood or maybe that one time when you took your date here and things went pretty well because now you're married and all that, Pat's is that place. No fuss, a bit of a mess, this walk up drive in is an institution whether you like it or not.

We like it.

But....you just can't have beans in the chili for a chili dog. It's just....

Sorry. Don't wanna mess with tradition.

Cheers!

Thanks Pat's!

Camera, Typing and Slight Heartburn
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Early October, 2016

Metal Influence:  

VOMITORY

"Revelation Nausea"

Blake's Lotaburger Comes To Town And...Sure.

I've seen this place. No really. Road travelling through New Mexico there were a bunch of Blake's Lotaburger  on the side of the highway but we never stopped to try out the food. For some reason we just kept on going and when we finally were out of the "land of enchantment" we kinda forgot all about that Lotaburger stand and continued on with our lives, free to pursue other burger spots and a career of religious fulfillment.

Then a few months ago it was announced that a Lotaburger was coming to Tucson. Oh. Okay. Cool. I guess.

And that's when locals began losing their frikkin minds!

Here it is...and...okay

As a California native, we just took having In-N-Out Burgers every five miles or so apart for granted. They were and are, and will be, always there. It was just road food for me. When driving for a while and you need a fairly expedient, satisfying and reasonable grub stop, the go to was In-N-Out.

But do you remember when one opened up here in Tucson a few years ago? Dude, it was like the second coming of the Meat Messiah. The lines coiled around blocks to get a sample of the West Coast style fries and burgs. It wasn't as if they were giving away free food or that the In-N-Out was suddenly the only place to get a quicky lunch here in Tucson...it's just a burger, man!

I mean, it is a tasty burger...but still.

So when folks started flipping about this Lotaburger joint, of course we had to get a sample and see what all the hype was about.

Packed parking lot and crazy long drive thru lines

Started back in the 50's by a guy named Blake Chanslor, Lotaburger quickly became a staple in the Albuquerque fast food quadrant, eventually expanding to other New Mexico cities to reign supreme in fry grease and cheese. Famous for featuring fresh roasted green chiles on their burgers, the chain soon became a local favorite earning the title of 'Best Green Chile Burger in the World' by National Geographic and now, ladies and gentlereaders...Tucson has one.

Friends who needed a Lotaburger fix asap braved the early soft opening chaos only to report that it took almost an hour at times to get their food. For a burger. When I asked if it was worth the hour wait, the response was a resounding:

"Eh."

Patrons lining up to start waiting to wait

Just "eh" for a burger you waited for up to an hour to eat? Oh man. But then others chimed in claiming that it beats In-N-Out by tenfold in flavors and concept. Heck, Lotaburger even serves up breakfast burritos (take that Taco Bell!) so now it was like 50/50 as far as what I was to expect from this place.

The dust had (sorta) settled from its big grand opening and I got there fairly early, like 10:30 am, on a Wednesday. I got parking right next to the front door so I had thought I lucked out. If you can get rockstar parking at a popular joint, bets are that it's not as hoppin' as it usually is or could be, so I opened the door and stepped inside.

There was a decent amount of people in there and a fair bustle of activity, just not the turmoil I had come to expect. I suppose at such a non-lunch/too late for breakfast time frame this light smattering of burger hungry patrons was to kind of be expected.

Here's the thing: This Lotaburger is pretty small and is set up quite oddly. When you first walk in you immediately are set to queue for your order. The main dining area is off to your left and there are a few tables within butt height and distance to the right. There was one employee on the register who had a few folks asking questions and placing orders with her under a fairly paired down and basic menu which stretched out above them all. The kitchen behind her was a squall of food hustle though. People were running around putting items in bags, manning the grills, taking orders from the drive thru window, slapping meat on buns and then running out to the floor and yelling out numbers.

"Number 283!?", announced a team member in a white shirt which was immediately followed by a dude raising his hand, claiming that he was number 283 and then was handed a sack full of steamy beef promise. Wow, at 10:30 am they were already up to almost 300 orders.

Impressive.

Here it is: the Lotaburger with green chiles

I was standing behind a guy whom I thought was in line, but when the line in front of him began to surge forward the dude didn't move. So I asked him if he was in line. He then turned around and stated that he had already ordered and was just waiting. Huh. So I moved up past him and prepared to order.

Looking around I noticed lots of folks just standing there, holding tickets, staring at the general register/kitchen area hoping their order pops up next. In fact, there were more people waiting for their food in the designated order line than there were actual people gearing up to order food. So people would come in, see some person standing in the queue area, queue behind that person and just stand there like idiots thinking they were in the line, when in fact the real line was a few heads down a notch, being blocked by folks who were just hanging out and waiting for their order to arrive. There is no wait station or area to hang out in as you anticipate someone calling out your ticket number. Kind of a bad move on the Lotaburger design team if you ask me. People just milling about the dining space clutching ticket orders while other people nibble on drippy sandwiches just looked uncomfortable for all parties involved.

So I placed my order, three burgers with green chiles, to go, grabbed my ticket and tried to find a spot where I wouldn't be confused with someone in line or bothering some sap who's just trying to enjoy their burger without some dork standing there going "Hey, maybe my order will come up next...what'dya think?"

It took about 15-20 minutes to get my sack full of burgs and by that time the line to order at the register was out the door. The 11 am, early lunch crowd was beginning to pack it, so I grabbed my goodies and mushed my way through the horde and ran to the car.

But when I got to the car I was blocked in by the teeming mass of drive thru patrons. Again, not the best in design. Luckily a good soul saw my predicament, backed up as much as he could, curbing out a bit onto Speedway, which allowed me to wiggle the rig just enough to make it safely to the street.

Thank you kind person. You know who you are.

Metal Mark in Lotaburger judge mode

My first stop was to drop one off to my lady, She-Ra, to snack on while she was at work.

"You didn't get fries?", she asked.

"No," I replied. "I just wanted to get out of there."

She would later reply via text: 'Well that was a spicy pile of garbage'

Let's play a game: Try to find the green chile topping

Next was to visit our good friend Chili, who co-owns our favorite bar Danny's Baboquivari. You might know Chili from our strip club excursion where we got free burgers and got the go-ahead to take photos of said free burgers in an environment that isn't so spiffy on things like that. Chili is always up for a Homeskillet food challenge and this one was a breeze compared to others we have endured in the past.

We both took a seat on the outside patio, unwrapped the provisions and assessed the damage.

"Good meat to bun ratio," quipped Chili. "But pretty skimpy on the green chiles."

The burgers looked like...burgers. Nothing amazing, nothing groundbreaking. Burgers. Amidst the usual lettuce, pickle, onion fare, the meat was topped with a scant amount of roasted green chile plop. Now, we had heard that Lotaburger was famous for their green chiles and you'd think that they would embellish the Tucson eaters with just a bit more sweet heat than what we were witnessing here.

Whatever. It was time to eat.

Chili is a man of action

Was this burger worth the 20 minute wait? Not really. Does it live up to the hype? I don't think so. Is it the best green chile burger in the world? Umm...not in Tucson, no.

The burger was...fine. It's at that grade of an In-N-Out but not on that level if you know what I mean. Maybe some chains in New Mexico hook it up like no other but for this burger enthusiast, it tasted like a slightly higher class of fast food burger.

Half way through our burgers though, we began to realize why they use so little green chile: The heat and spice is a slow yet palpable burn. If they had slathered more of the green mush relish on the meat we would have been in some trouble. Not crazy napalm scorch but it did have a bite.

And believe me, we can take the heat.

"You know what," Chili said (by the way, yes, we found it funny that our good friend Chili was sampling green chile burgers...we got it, thank you) as he finished his burger and wiped his mouth, "I ate it but I don't think I need to again. Maybe in a year or so when the crowds die down...maybe. But for now, all I can say is: I just ate a burger with some green chiles on it. And, I can move on with my life."

No truer words were said on that fine sunny Wednesday afternoon.

Some folks have waited for up to an hour for this thing...really?

To be fair we did not try the breakfast burritos, we did not sample the fries and we only ate their basic burger with green chiles, so there really wasn't a well rounded account for all that Lotaburger can offer up. But if a place is boasting the "best green chile burger in the world", you better believe I am eating that burger. It's sort of like how I judge diners: if they screw up a simple club sandwich I wont go back. Or if a Japanese restaurant has crappy chicken teriyaki. If you can't get the basics down how is the rest of the menu going to fare?

Listen, there are so many burger options in this town and Lotaburger just seems like the new kid at school that at first appears all fun and shiny but then when you get to the heart of things they are proud of their Nickleback ticket collection and thought that the last Fantastic Four movie was "Oh my god, so good!"

Only to repeat myself: It was a burger. It had green chiles on it. We ate it. And then we moved on.

So to sum up our Lotaburger experience, just let this photo of me tell you what we all thought:

Camera, Typing and Eating
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
First Wednesday in April, 2016

Metal Influence:

NEUROSIS

"The Time Of The Beasts"

The Tucson Homeskillet Food Truck Spotlight: Presenting the Zany Beaver!

But before I get around to answering that age old question, let me tell you how I discovered not only poutine, but one of the best food trucks here in Tucson.

It was a chilly early autumn evening, She-Ra and I were at the pub when a shiny white van pulled up outside. The bartender informed us that a new food truck had volunteered to feed the hungry and cold drinking patrons inside.

"It's poutine", said the bartender. "Ever hear of it?"

Luckily, we have. Being big time cooks and fooders, we knew it was a Canadian comfort food which consisted of fries covered in gravy and topped with cheese curds. Sounds weird right? Yeah, we thought so too. But being not only food adventurous we were also quite hungry, so we went out to the truck to see what was going on.

The truck was called the Zany Beaver, the name alone made me love them immediately. It was run by a nice middle aged couple and they not only offered up the standard poutine fare, but also ones topped with bacon, and pulled pork and chicken and bacon and....wait, did I mention bacon already? Ah, who cares! Fries, gravy, cheese and bacon. Sold! So we placed our order and waited inside.

After a few minutes, the lady working the front window delivered two heaping bowls of the stuff. From the crisp night air, steam rose off the curds and gravy, the bacon glistened in the moonlight and fresh cut fries jutted out from under the weight of the toppings like a deep fried tentacled seabeast waiting to be devoured. It didn't take long for us to fork up, tuck in and go for it.

Let me tell you...it was glorious. For some divine reason, all of those flavors and components, together, freaking worked like a magical chalice of joy and carbs. It did not take long for us to become mega fans of not only poutine, but of the Zany Beaver.

So, to answer your question, here, my dear readers, is what poutine is:

Owned and operated by Canadian native husband and wife team Craig and Dianne Brewer, the Zany Beaver became a labor of love because both of them had pretty normal jobs before running a successful food truck.

"I worked as a photojournalist for many years with weekly and daily newspapers in Tucson, and Westfield, MA, " Dianne tells me as she hands off a bowl of goodness to a lucky customer. "Ironically I had a weekly food column in Westfield, featuring family favorite recipes that I wrote on. Craig has always worked in I.T., and still does."

I then had to know what was her early influence as far as food and cooking was.

"I would say my dad was a huge influence in cooking," Dianne muses.  "I would watch him throw things together in a pinch and always come up with some amazing meals that I now realize would be classified as stir fry these days. I always loved to dabble and experiment with cooking. Eating wise, I can go far back to my grandmother’s rice pudding. It’s a British dish. To this day it’s still one of my favorite treats. Unfortunately, my grandmother and only one of my aunts took it to their grave, and no one else in the family learned how to replicate it. All my cousins and myself are still trying to figure that one out."

Have some fries with those cheese curds? Yeah man!

With Canada, currently, being a culinary hub and go to location for serious chefs and eaters, I wanted to get her take on what defines Canadian cooking.

"Many, many different dishes. I love Quebecoise tortiere," she says with a flourish and smile. "It is a special meat pie made with ground pork and other ingredients that is prepared for special occasions. There's also salmon pie, fish and chips, shepherd’s pie, butter tarts, Nanaimo bars, pouding chomage, (which defines as a poor man’s pie) and, of course, poutine!"

Of course.

Check the poutine skills. Amazing!

 When it came time to quit their jobs and open up a food truck I just had to know...why poutine?

"Why not?", Dianne reacts with a chuckle. "I watched poutine make it’s trip across Canada once it crossed the Quebec border in the 1990’s as the wave continued over to British Columbia. And as it moved down the west coast of America into California, Arizona seemed to be the logical next step."

Dianne serving up poutine realness...

 

"Poutine starts with a base of French fries, then topped with cheese curds and gravy," she informed when I asked her to define the dish to those not in the know. "Traditionally, in Quebec, this was the go to dish. As it skipped across the country, others added variants to the dish, like meat, etc., and changed the concept. It is basically translated into a mess, but it’s oh so good! Imagine a fully loaded deep fried potato as compared to fries. It’s the same concept. It means good eats with beer after a long night for those who have never experienced this."

 

Poutine fully loaded!

So now that they knew they wanted to make poutine full time, I then had to know about how the concept came about.

"We were watching a food network show on deep fried anything one night. We made a joke about many things that we could deep fry. Somehow I got onto the concept of how I missed my poutine, and it was like a light went on over both our heads, and the concept was born from there."

 

Thank you for the concept because this is incredible...

"As for the name, well, my husband had this wacky idea which I’m not even going to delve into as a start," Dianne starts with a wink and nudge. "It was a little bit too risqué for myself. It did involve the word beaver though, as the beaver is actually Canada’s official animal, kind of how the eagle is in America. I knew I wanted that in my name, to communicate to fellow Canadians here. We agonized for months trying to figure out what would work with beaver, and it wasn’t until we were lost on a business trip in Phoenix one Sunday that we saw this billboard on the Interstate 17 advertising “Zany” prices on their product. We believe we got lost for a reason on that trip, because zany just seemed to go so well with beaver, and of course, it reflects some of my personality. We loved it!"

 

And Tucson loves you!

So Dianne and Craig had a concept, they knew what they wanted to serve up and after getting a name and a truck, their day to day goes something like this:

"Crazy long days," she admits looking a bit tired just talking about it. "Lots of product planning, ordering, and prepping on the truck, then traveling to events. It takes a lot of time. Once we get to the event, it’s either very very busy, or slow. It can be a lot of hurry up and wait, or hurry up and keep that line moving. I have sometimes been up at four in the morning to pick up supplies at the local restaurant supply stores, to finish the day by midnight or even later, when we get extremely busy."

On a busy night, gotta keep the line moving, keep those dupes rolling...

The highs of owning a food truck?

"The highs are working with the foodies (and fooders!) and the enjoyment of watching people as they sample their first poutine." 

And...the lows?

"The lows are the many many hours of off-site work that not everyone is aware of in what it takes to run a small business. A food truck is a small business, it involves accounting, paying taxes, filing tax returns, bookkeeping, budget planning, and great organizational skills to keep it going, as well as looking for and confirming events. One of the major major lows is when equipment on the truck, or something on the truck breaks. It can add up in loss of income and events."

Go face deep in the poutine goodness...

So what's next for the Zany Beaver?

"We have a lot of ideas that we’re tossing around at the moment," she mentions with a knowing glance. "We’re not sure quite what direction we’re heading in though. We fancy the idea of a brick and mortar in time, but we’re not quite sure where in town it would be most successful, and if we’re willing to take that plunge. We’ll just continue to keep on trucking for now."

Zany Beaver manager Cassie (L) with owner Dianne (R)

"My favorite dish varies on any given day," Dianne admits when I asked what her favorite menu item was. "One day I want to say chicken, then I lean over to bacon, then pork. I guess you can say that the menu was based on all my very favorites. In Quebec they have a specialty deli meat called 'smoked meat'. If ever there was a favorite poutine for me that is it, but unfortunately the ingredients in the brisket inhibit the sale of that product here in America."

For now, we here in Tucson just want to thank the Zany Beaver for even being here. Poutine isn't an everyday dish (well, for some it might be, but you gotta have uncanny gastro-dynamics) but it is a special treat when you see the bright white truck with the smiling beaver on the side. On those particularly cold days here in Tucson, or you've had 5 too many to drink or you wanna bulk up for that hike up to the K2, poutine is the ideal meal to get you motivated. It is luscious, it is decadent, it is dense and it is crazy delicious. The Zany Beaver have this Canadian comfort food on lock down and will most likely be the only real poutine game in town for quite some time. 

And we here at the Tucson Homeskillet, are perfectly alright with that. 

 Sante!

Camera and Typing

"Metal" Mark Whittaker

Late July, 2015

Metal Influence

Voivod, "Rrroooaaarrr"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRgLIq-SXEA