The Tucson Homeskillet presents: Portobello Mushroom "Deep Dish" Pizzas!

So the idea of making "pizzas" out of Portobello mushrooms isn't all that revolutionary, in fact it's been going on for quite some time seeing as it is a fun concept with tasty results, but lately readers and followers of mine have been asking for my personal recipe for them. Here's the thing: 

I don't have a recipe. 

You don't need one. Really. If you know the basics of cooking and can assemble a simple pizza then there isn't a need for directions. Just go for it. In the newly found immortality of a screaming Shia LaBeouf, "Just DO IT!"

So for this notion of the mushroom pizza, here's what I had on hand and used for the demo here:

• Large Portobello Mushroom
• Homemade Red Sauce
• Garlic
• Basil
• Salami
• Mozzarella Cheese
• Parmesan Cheese
• Dried Parsley

That's it. Super simple. But simplicity is what makes this so delicious because with a fresh Portobello and quality ingredients, what you have on your plate is sheer yummy bliss. And since this is technically a "deep dish" pizza, I always have to eat it with a knife and fork. In the future I'll get to work on a New York style pizza, but, for now, Chicago rules. 


Okay. Let's do this shall we?

First up, set your oven to 400 degrees. (You all in Europe, figure out the Celsius to Fahrenheit ratio because....I don't know. I'm from California. For years I thought Bangers and Mash was a cop show...)

I like to use our toaster oven to make these because the heat ratio here equals proper cooking

Next, get yourself a grand Portobello mushroom.

Not too sure what that creff is on the stem but...I just bought it this morning, so...?

Take the stem off yo.

Bye.

Get yourself a hearty spoon with a pointy edge, cuz we about to dig here son.

Feel free to play Soundgarden's "Spoonman" while doing this...

Dig out all the bloofy ribs and mesh. Be sure to even out the bottom of the mushroom so this cooks correctly. Like, make yourself a perfect lil' mushroom bowl. See what I'm saying?

The best cooking is messy cooking...

Luckily for us, basil just grows like mad in our garden. Thanks to Native Seeds we've been growing southwestern herbs from seed and the results are (usually) pure magic. So I plucked a good looking bunch for this pizza.

I wish this website had Smell-O-Vison, because, man...so fragrant.

Group up the leaves as such because we about to chiffonade here kid.

All nestled, about to get chopped up...

Then roll the basil into a tight little green cigar. You want it as firm as possible because it helps when you cut to make even ribbons.

Sorta looks like I caught some weird green bug or something...

Now get out a good sharp knife and start slicing the basil into little strips. If you don't know how to chiffonade, check out this VIDEO.

I still have some knife skills. Sorta...

Next, get yourself some garlic.

Hello garlic my old friend...

I usually get my garlic from Sleeping Frog Farms when they're at one of the various farmers markets I go to. Their ajo rojo variety just kills for pure garlicky awesomeness.

A thing of beauty....I hate to crush you.

Then, with the flat of a wide knife, smash the bulb a bit and remove the papery skin.

I like to use my "Rocker" knife for this stuff...

Then start dicing it up man. Tiny nibblets equals big flavor.

Done.

I had some salami from the Sausage Shop lying around so I thought I'd throw it into the mix.

Hoo doggies...

Again, like the basil, I thought it'd be fun to chiffonade this stuff too. Why not. I was feeling frisky. I'm a crazy man I tell you...a crazy man!

Salami tube: insert joke here.

And slice it up to make uniform deli meat streamers.

Nice...

Now, I like to add some good olive oil and rub it all over the shell of the mushroom. For me, it adds a good flavor along with some color and texture when cooking. I've tried these mushroom pizzas without the olive oil and they're still tasty but...I prefer to use oil just because. I'm sure you have a preference. Of course you do, you're a free person to do what you want. Go nuts...see what works and what doesn't.

Oil it up...

Since I am a bona fide pasta and pizza freak, I always have some homemade red sauce handy. It can be doctored up for each dish that you prepare and this variety I made a few weeks ago has a bit of sweetness to it, so I thought it'd be perfect for these pizzas.

Want the recipe? Hit me up...

"Great on veggies". I just noticed that. Funny. It's funny...

Now for the fun part...let's make our pizzas!

Here's how I like to do it. 

First, slather the base of your mushroom bowl with the sauce.

If I can use the word 'slather' at any cost, it proves to be a good day...

Then, get yourself some bomb azz mozzarella cheese.

No endorsements here, not yet anyway. But I'm open to suggestions...

You can grate the cheese if you like but if you have real mozzarella in your reach, I always like to just tear it off and just plop it around wherever I like. It'll all melt evenly and perfectly in the end any way and, well, I just like playing with my food I suppose. 

Put a nice layer of cheese on the sauce along with some of the garlic. 

This is good to go right here. But, wait!, there's more...

Then pile on that salami of yours...or pepperoni, or capicola, or prosciutto, or pancetta, or sopressata, or...whatever. It's up to you. 

Remember: Go for it!

Yeah man...

Then on top of that, add more sauce, the rest of the garlic and the basil.

Holy crap...

And then, the final touch, add more mozzarella, the parmesan and I like to shake some dried parsley on for color. That's it. Just for color. Doesn't really add anything but a little dance for the eyes. I mean, it adds a like a little bit of flavor but...yeah, not really.

Check it.

If you're making a bunch of these in a big oven, I suggest making foil rings to place under the pizzas, this way they cook more evenly and leave less burn on the base of the mushroom. But since I usually use our handy toaster oven, I don't need to go this route. 

Again, it's up to you and with your trials and errors, you'll find the best method. 

They help, but, not a necessity.

Now, into the preheated oven it goes. Let's say, 20-25 minutes.

Ugh...can't wait.

You can smell the mushroom and meat cooking, you can hear the cheese sizzling and after a few minutes...bingo! 

A perfect deep dish Portobello mushroom pizza. 

Freakin' delicious!

Now since we use a mushroom instead of dough, this dish could easily go vegan. My basic red sauce already is so substituting real mozzarella with vegan options and omitting the meat or adding other veggies like onions, peppers, squash, etc, could be just as crazy tasty. In fact, I know it is. Like I keep saying, it's up to you. 

Now that you know the basics, it's time to go mushroom deep dish pizza crazy. 

Have fun!

Cheers...

"Lil Poundcake. You want some Portobello mushroom deep dish pizza?"

"Why do you keep torturing me human? Is this made with kitty kibble and mice? No? Then no."

Camera, Typing and Cooking
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Mid September, 2015

Metal Influence
Judas Priest, "Eat Me Alive"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFCZDNwomRA

The Homeskillet gives a nod to Heat Stroke Hot Sauce - gone (for now) but definitely not forgotten

Heat Stroke Hot Sauce, we will miss you

Local saucier Daniel Kinn's Heat Stroke Hot Sauce will not be forgotten anytime soon because the burn lasts for quite some time. I recently put some of his Reaper sauce on my eggs, trying to wake me up after a long day of getting the car repaired, and let me tell you, it stuck with me for most of the day. 


Not that was a bad thing, far from it. In fact, it kept me going reminding me that waiting at home was some of the last batch of the stuff that he made. So we would have to use it very sparingly which is tough because his stuff is crazy good.


I met Daniel at our favorite bar a while back and after we exchanged information, he sent me one each of his Heat Stroke product line: Your Everything Sauce, Reaper and the shuddersome Ghost Pepper variety. We tried each one and were seriously impressed with each option. It was then I knew I had to do a Tucson Homeskillet on him and the sauces.

The Everything Sauce literally made everything a bit more awesome

Here was the breakdown in my opinion:

• Your Everything Sauce: This stuff was right up there with Frank's, Sriracha, most Tobasco products and anything from the Big Daddy line.  You could, no joking, use this sauce on most of the whatever you put in your mouth. It made wings a bit brighter, pizza stronger, eggs cluck a bit, starches roar and fish and fowl rise to the occasion. Decent heat, slight linger of chilies and tomato and all around a perfect blend. 

• Reaper: The funny thing about the reaper option was that he hadn't made a label for it yet so I just used tape and a Sharpie to identify it as such. This potion is/was quite nasty (in all the best sense) and the heat from this really dragged you down a stroke and left you bleeding on the asphalt. I love(d) it. Just a drop or two to any marinades, mixes and sauces added a bit of smoky sinister leaving your palate asking for more, only because your tongue has been naughty and needs a good spanking.

• Ghost Pepper: The malignant offering form the bhut jolokia pepper has reached such a level of infamous fame that there are now millions of YouTube videos of idiots eating one whole and then nearly dying before our rolling and laughing eyes. It is intense so you need but a slight 'hint' of it to make the teeth and tastebuds jump....and Daniel had it down perfectly. Yeah, it was/is hot, it doesn't fool around, but it also keeps it to such an enjoyable level that you can still go on and pursue a life of religious freedom. This bottle will last us a bit of time because just a dab will do you for any variety of dishes and fixin's. So good yet so bad...

Lil Poundcake: "And its great on cat food too!"

But because of time, money and personal constraints, Daniel Kinn had to shut Heat Stroke's doors for the time being and I am here to say we are sorry to see you go. For now anyway...

Who knows, maybe in the future he and Heat Stroke will be back and we can all celebrate once again this amazing product. In the meantime, we're happy to have what we have from him and it and for that we all say thanks for the burn. 

Cheers!



Camera and Typing
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
Labor Day, 2015

Metal Salute
Twisted Sister, "Burn in Hell"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_atqPcXvcr0

The Tucson Homeskillet Reviews: Crispy's Fish n' Chips (but it's the tacos that are the star here)

When I first moved to Tucson in 2006 from San Francisco, I was quite pleased to find that a decent sandwich shop was right down the street. Called The Daggwood Cafe, it served up all kinds of fresh ideas served between bread and I was a regular customer for a while.

 Then, one day, I called to place an order and the phone just rang and rang. Thinking that perhaps they were so busy that day that their line was just too jacked up from incoming calls, or...something of that nature, I decided to just go down there, place my order and wait it out just like any other lunchtime having shmoe.

But when I arrived, at like 1pm on a Wednesday, the doors were closed. Upon further inspection, I noticed that the doors were not only closed, they were locked. Big chains and a mighty padlock bound the entrance from anyone coming in. Then I saw it; a sign reporting that the establishment is now under city rule for various infringements and would be dark until further notice.

Crap. I was really looking forward to that Jamaican jerk turkey sandwich. Oh well.

Gone, but not...well, kind of forgotten.

Several months later, just a random driving home, I was pleased to see that the Daggwood was open again. Yay. Oh sandwich bliss. So the next day I ordered that jerk sandwich (that sounds mean seeing as it was a really tasty treat) and was happy to have the olde neighborhood lunch spot back open again.

But, uh, this gastro-happiness didn't last long. Just a week or so later the doors were closed again. C'mon guys, get your stuff in order here. And they remained closed for a long time. Just a hollow shell of a sandwich joint next to a laundromat and dive bar reminding us all of tasty vittles from the recent past. 

About a year later, there was activity in the old Daggwood's. A ladder was spotted by the front door, a large grill was sitting on the patio, the inside was turned around and a makeshift sign was up: 

Taco Loco, it said. 

Now, in the neighborhood of Ft. Lowell and 1st Ave, opening up a taco place is really risky. There were decent taco stands in various nearby locations, Food City and La Botana was just across the street and a BK (not Burger King for those outside of the 520 area code, BK is one of the premiere Mexican food depots in the city and boasts the best Sonoran hot dog competing with El Guero Canelo for the top spot in that category and the feud rages on!) but a few blocks away. Another taco stand just seemed like white noise. 

But Taco Loco had an edge. They promised to deliver tacos to your face. Okay then. We might have a winner. It took them a while (like a really long while, Taco Loco stood unopened for what seemed an eternity) but when they finally opened their doors, we were the first to call and have Mexican food delivered. 

The result? Not bad. Pretty good actually. The first time we ordered it seemed as if they weren't ready for the amount of business they would get. The girl on the phone sounded confused, the order took longer than promised and the food itself tasted rushed. A couple days later I order again and things seemed to fall into place. Delivery was on time and the tacos and burritos were made with care and the flavors had stepped it up a few notches. 

Then, disaster struck.  There was a shooting in their parking lot and they were forced to close their doors, again!, for a bit. But once the smoke cleared, the doors stayed closed. I didn't understand. Reading the story online, it sounded like the shooting just happened to take place in that parking area for them, the laundromat and the bar and the businesses weren't involved at all. So why aren't they opening up again? Why is this location cursed with places that can't keep it together?

The Taco Loco sign came down one day and a new one took its stead. 

Crispy's Fish n Chips it said!

My favorite kind of menu: simple, awesome and cheap...

Fish and chips? In this neighborhood? Again, they would be competing with the adjacent Boondocks Lounge because on Fridays they have a fish fry that would rival any chip shop here in the states or in the UK. So freakin' good. But you never know. 

I actually had a chance to chat with the owner, Mario, who was in business with his son, Amer, who told me the shooting was only a sad coincidence because they were contemplating, almost from the beginning of Taco Loco, to re-open as a fish and chips spot. In a city wrought with tacos but naught with pub style fish n' chips, it just seemed wise to utilize all of their fryers and make do with a new concept, especially in midtown Tucson. 

So, as always, like all of the other eateries in this location, we were one of the first in line to try Crispy's Fish-n-Chips and were delighted upon first bite. 

Huge chicken tenders with a spicy BBQ sauce...

Just like with Taco Loco, our first visit wasn't the greatest. The food was, well...fine, but not great. The service was...okay, again not ready for the rush of business they were getting almost immediately. We then decided to give it another week or so and we'd try again.

A basket of deep fried amazing? Yes please...

Just like in the past, it took them a spell to get the creaks out and the map memorized. They were hitting a good stride. The seasoning was less heavy handed and the timing on the fryers were near perfect. 

We ordered their namesake, a four piece cod with fries and coleslaw. Let me tell you, the flavor and texture took me back to a place in San Francisco called the Edinburgh Castle, which was/is a large European style pub that served up Scottish influenced fish and chips nestled in newspaper and cooked by staff from that region. So crazy delicious that on any night you could find locally famous, and even nationally famous, chefs and critics sipping a pint and grubbing down on their incredible fare.

This was as close to that as possible.

Tucson, you have a competitor for the best fish tacos in town...

Then the real trouble started. One night we decided to order a round of fish and shrimp tacos, just to try them. We had been tipping a few back at our friend's pub down the way and didn't feel like cooking.

When we finally got home and dove in, all we could do was low mumble satisfied "Mmmm"'s. They were mad tasty. Cooked to perfection, served with a tangy crema, cabbage and topped with fresh made pico de gallo. Unreal.

Shrimp tacos all day long kid!

Crispy's, we thought at the time, shouldn't just be known for their fish n' chips, because their fish tacos were some of the best we've had, not just in Tucson, but anywhere. I mean Mr. Baja Fish 
and the seminal food truck Taco Fish bring the girth and the heat (did this blog just get filthy?) but Crispy's has a more delicate approach and you should seriously stop reading and go get some. 

No really. This silly website will still be here when you're done. Go!

Fried bits of perfection....

Okay. We are pretty much sold on this place. The fish and shrimp tacos took us to a happy food pasture. So then another night we get their hot wings. Once again, not disappointed. Wonderfully seasoned, a good spice temperature for the sauce and, like all of the other fare, fried perfectly. 

At this point we weren't missing Daggwood's at all and we were all "Taco Loco who?", but  we got nervous because we could see us getting a slight Crispy's addiction. As if a legal drug dealer is always waiting for you just a few blocks away with a "product" that rarely warrants any complaints and is readily available between 10:30am and 8:30pm everyday.

Get in my mouth you!

The chicken strips are about the size of a small child and could put a major fast food corporation out on their ear if they got word about their sheer power. They're not just chicken strips mind you....more like chicken runways or chicken malls. Combined with that spicy BBQ sauce they make on site, you got yourself a chicken strip riot on your hands.

Fill a kiddie pool with this stuff and call it a day...

Let's chat about the sides shall we? The coleslaw is fantastic. When they first opened it was a bit runny and kind of flavorless, but I'm sure a few bad Yelp laments and suggestions from patrons set them right because this stuff is picnic perfect. Crunchy greens and carrots in a zesty dressing make the fried miracles all the more savory. 

The potato salad is good too but not on the same level as the slaw here. Seems like the potato option is a backburner idea for a side while everything else is on point. 

Just sayin'...

Slaw me up man...

Crispy's also serves up fried mac n cheese which is always a pleasure to do business with. Their version is little nibs of the creamy carbs, perfect for the tykes and grandma since she thinks regular old mac n cheese is just "too suspicious!"

I haven't had hush puppies since my travels through the South but these tasty treats brought me back to food shacks in Louisiana and this truck stop in Texas. Soft bite size balls of bready goodness not really accustomed here to the surly southwest but these might make you think otherwise.

For some reason I am never really a fan of fried zucchini, unless its tempura style, because most places get it wrong. The outside is usually alright but then when you bite into it the veggie filling is all soggy and gross. Not here. Oh no, not by a long shot. I actually like the fried zucchini at Crispy's so cheers on making me a believer in the dish because no one else has. 

Then, of course, is my ultimate undoing (next to tater tots) and that would be the dreaded onion ring. This fried orbital of allium stuffed crisis makes me tingle like a stoned monkey arriving on Banana Island for the first time. To be blunt, I love onion rings. Next to Frankie's Cheesesteaks on Campbell, Crispy's has the best rings in town. Dear god they are good, dear god take them away from me. As if chubbo here isn't wide enough. 

Thank you Crispy's for your combo platter of deep fried enchantment. For when I die, please bury me in flour dredge and egg coating because on the other side, when they throw my celestial form onto the pyre in Valhalla, my Metal brethren will eat well and I can go in peace knowing that just down the street from where I used to live a small stand inspired me and kept me from going to the gym on a regular basis. 

Amen.

Yon landscape of 'oh hells yeah'...

Then, of course, came the final test of Crispy's virtue. I brought our cat, Lil Poundcake, a hush puppy from the steamy fried yum pile. 

Her response?

"Get that crap away from me! You think I wanna eat anything with 'puppy' in it's name? Man....you crazy!"

AKA: she loved it. 


Cheers!
 

Camera and Typing
"Metal" Mark Whittaker
End of August 2015

Metal Influence
Mastodon, "Leviathan"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sulY3bixDxI